+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: How slow is too slow?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    436

    How slow is too slow?

    I was at a party last friday and ended up meeting a cute girl. I noticed her earlier on in the night and only introduced myself to her later and talked on and off during the night as there were a lot of ppl there. We also had some good laughs (her spilling her drink twice and me making fun of her playfully). I didn't overly flirt as its not rly my type, but enough to see there were positives signs going back and forth.

    Two days later, she adds me on facebook and we exchanged a quick msg. Now most ppl at this point would be on here asking whens is the appropriate time to contact them again, because they don't want to push too soon. My question is sort of the opposite. I am pretty busy with work at the moment and starting next week (for 2 weeks) i will be out of town monday through friday. So obviously is I do decide to call her up/contact her, it will be much more difficult to arrange something.

    So my question is, how long of a window do I have to ask her if she wants to go out for coffee or something?.. I don't really know her so I can't comment on her typical behaviour with guys or wtv, so I don't have much to work with. Thought maybe some female members here could give me some insight into what they think (or for that matter males who have been in similar situations).

    Do i try and get something done sooner rather then later?.. do I make the initial contact but don't finalize plans since i am busy, but just indicate to her I am interested in grabbing a coffee or wtv?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Indiana, U.S.
    Posts
    1,766
    I'd try to see her before you go and during that time mention your leaving for awhile but will be back and after the date if you want to see her again just say when you get back you'd like to see her again....like they say "strike while the iron is hot"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    16,935
    Even if you're too busy to see her before you go, you should contact her, tell her you're out of town for two weeks but would like to get together when you come back. Waiting until you're back is way too long- she'll get the message you weren't really interested if you do that, even if that's not the message you intend to send.

    Generally speaking, you should get on it within three days of getting a girl's number (or Facebook or whatever). You can stretch it to four days, but any longer than that and you're starting to insult her.
    Spammer Spanker

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle WA
    Posts
    1,752
    you need to ask her out as soon as possible. if you guys go out and have a good time and then you do your busy thing she would understand, but shes not going to understand or be cooperative if you didnt get together with her sooner because you were "too busy." even if its true. That sends signals saying youre too busy for her at all.
    make time to get together with her for something small, if you connect then say "listen i gotta do this and go here but afterward id love to get together with you again." shes going to feel attractive and desired and youre going to get your business out of the way and still have her up for a date.

  5. #5
    girl68's Avatar
    girl68 is offline little person, big mouth
    Country:
    Users Country Flag
    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Beautiful British Columbia
    Posts
    5,599
    Seeing she made contacct with you Sunday. You have already probably passed the appropriate window. You should have called a day or 2 after the facebook thing.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    40
    Quote Originally Posted by all alone View Post
    How slow is too slow?
    When you start to go limp *laughs at his own joke*

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    27
    She added you to facebook after initially seeing you at a party..she likes you..just let her know you will be out of town for a week or so and that you wanna hook up when you get back. The wait will make her think of you 24/7

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle WA
    Posts
    1,752
    soooo true.. ^

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    44
    Quote Originally Posted by traceylee36 View Post
    She added you to facebook after initially seeing you at a party..she likes you..just let her know you will be out of town for a week or so and that you wanna hook up when you get back. The wait will make her think of you 24/7
    that sounds like a good idea, or just keep it real, ask her if she would like to go on a date.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    436
    Alright thanks for the responses everyone, more or less what i expected i guess but its always nice to hear it from others and be reassured of your assessment. =)

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    62
    If i was in this situation and i was going away within the next few days i would call and say i unfortunately will be out of town for the next few days/weeks but i would really love to meet up after i get back.

    if she says it's fine, tell her youll give her a call when you get back from your trip to arrange something.
    if she says she doesn't want to have to wait then tell her, you do have a few days untill you leave so you'll try squeese something into your busy scedule.

    i recon that should do the trick =)

    Ps: it seems like you two hit it off pretty well so congrats to that =)

    [Edit]
    Quote Originally Posted by traceylee36 View Post
    She added you to facebook after initially seeing you at a party..she likes you..just let her know you will be out of town for a week or so and that you wanna hook up when you get back. The wait will make her think of you 24/7
    i like that, sounds a lot better than my imput =P

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    436
    Well I didn't have her number at the time, but I talked to her for a bit last night online. I explained that it might be tough to arrange something in the next little while because of work, but that we should go for coffee sometime, so I got her number and a tentative date set up with her. So i figured alright, im in right. Well if that wasn't enough of an indication (which it was) she txt'd me for the rest of the night.

    Yay =)

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    436
    Just wanted to follow up here and thank ppl for their responses. So far so good, I surprised her at work last weekend and brought her a coffee (shes a self-proclaimed coffee adict). My trip out of town was delayed until wednesday as well so i took advantage and we went on our coffee date tuesday night, which went great! We got along great and the night ended with a good night kiss. And now and I am only gone monday/tuesday for work.. thankfully my schedule changed for the better!


Similar Threads

  1. Moving way too slow?
    By Ringman in forum Intimate Forum
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-03-09, 04:12 AM
  2. Take it Slow...
    By Guz200sx in forum Ask a Female Forum
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-06-06, 07:17 AM
  3. Slow or Hard?
    By bigcr27 in forum Intimate Forum
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 30-12-05, 01:40 PM
  4. take things slow...what does that mean?
    By celerystalksme in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02-12-05, 10:32 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •