Married, but want to have sex with others

[choppedliver]

I have been with my husband for over 15 years. We have a great relationship and we are both happy. However, the only people we have ever had sex with are each other. I would love to have sex with someone else or maybe even a few other men. I would not do it without my husbands knowledge and I have no intention of having an affair. I would love just to have sex with a few other men. I wouldn't mind if he had sex with a few other women as well. I would like feedbacK from other people who may be in a similiar situation or from others and whether they think this is possible. Am I just being selfish, or could it be a good thing for our sex life (which is pretty average)?

[veedive]

well there you go. This is a can of worms! Or is it a can of pleasure!

There will be a few differences of opinion here and I think ther younger members of this forum will not like the idea of you having sex outside marriage.

I am a 40 year old guy. I am married. My wife and I have an open relationship. Our relationship is not a madly in love relationship - we are now just great friends - more like brother and sister.

We both acknowledge that the passion in our marriage is kind of over and maybe we should be looking for other partners.

I first realised that I need to have sex with other women. I had to talk to my partner. We tried it. It worked.

But now I have fallen in love with another women -my wife knows - but the love is hard - as this woman who was madly in love with me has suddenly changed and wont see me.

But to you - yes - get out and have some sex. You need to experience the passion and fun in it.

Where are you based? In the UK by any chance? He he!!!

Vee

[sfalexi]

I know there are actual "clubs" and meetings of this sort. Meetings where married couples can attend in order to find other married couples to swap partners with. Do a little searching. It's probably a little easier than trying the local bar and going ALL over again. Plus, these other poeple KNOW you have a wife and you don't need to lie or try to convince someone that it's an open relationship.

And let's face it, it's easier for the woman to find a man to have sex with than vice-versa. A woman, and I mean ANY woman, can go to a bar, express sexual interest and get ANY guy in the place willing to take her back to his place. It's a little harder for the guy. Cause sometimes we just get slapped or kicked in the junk . . . . . I'd prefer a social gathering of people with the same interests in order to (ahem) avoid this if possible.

You also REALLY need to talk it over with the husband. You need to set RULES. This is allowed, this isn't allowed, we can only do this when we BOTH have another partner, we both have to meet back together by this time. Otherwise one person will acidentally step out of the bounds that the other has secretly placed. None of this, "I know I didn't say we could do that but I assumed . . . " You have to negate ALL assumptions if you want to remain a married couple who are still in love.

Happy hunting.

Alexi

[kitkat]

i personally disagree w/ the whole finding new sex partners. i mean till death do you part, right? i don't believe that's how a marriage works

[jane]

I agree to some extent. I mean, i understand that things can get boring or stale or whatever but it doesn't mean you experience sex with others. I think that its openning a HUGE can of worms.
Why take the vows and still be having an affair? you both have the right to be happy. Why can't you bring the romance back? YOu have been married a long time. Personally, too long to start having sex with others and still be married.

[LINEBACKER _2]

Can you say... ADULTERY?

But we all make our own decisions in life. Do what you want now and deal with the consequences later.

LINEBACKER 2

[Velcrez]

I agree with Jane. I think the whole thing is bound to cause terrible jelousy at some point.

[jane]

velcrez,
Love you avator! I am a huge fan of Floyd!!!

[sfalexi]

Floyd? What are you talking about? But I have to tell you, velcrez, I don't know how you knew . . . But I absolutely ADORE prisms!

sfalexi -&- ROYGBIV 4-ever!

[jane]

that is the DARK SIDE OF THE MOOn cover by Pink Floyd!!
that's what I'm talking about...

[LINEBACKER _2]

My most favourite CD. Ever.

LINEBACKER 2

[veedive]

Go for it Chopped liver!

I don't understand how the wedding vows can really mean until death do us part. When you marry - its a moment in time - things change. 15 years down the line you can have a happy life, a great partner and super kids. But you can still want sex with others, particularly if you haven't had many experiences before hand.

I think it is too pios of others to say otherwise.

Talk to your hubby, set your rules and give it a try, girl.

Vee

[Illusional]

considering that you want to experiment with other men, but you're allowing him the same option, talk to him and see how he feels. if he doesn't feel that same then it sucks for you, but if he's willing to try a threesome, it's a start. raverboy

[Niko]

Well if you in TORONTO and looking for fun have a look at [url]www.TorontoDates.com[/url] its free to search for members with pleanty of photos

[Velcrez]

Originally posted by jane
velcrez,
Love you avator! I am a huge fan of Floyd!!!

thanks