A place I think many of us have been

[kskts6115]

I recently just broke up with my boyfriend. I knew we weren't perfect but I didn't think we would break up. I was just recently getting so frustrated with the lack of effort he seemed to be putting in and the complete lack of communication between the both of us. We only saw each other once a week and he never told me how he felt about me. Hes the very quiet type and I understand that he feels uncomfortable expressing himself because I also do too. So I guess we are both at fault for not making the effort to make it a real relationship. This was my first boyfriend and I am in my 20s and I just didn't know how to make it be something but that doesn't mean I don't want to and I still want to try. I wanted us both to include each other in each others lives. I told him I loved him which I know is true. I know I feel that way and I have never told anyone that before. And he said that hes liked me for a 1 and 1/2 and we've been dating 6 months and that he didn't feel that way. And that was a long time of liking me not to feel that way and he said he cant see the turning point to feel that way. He also said that he thinks there might be something better for the both of us but I don't want something else I want him and I want him to feel the same way about me. But I also think how can you say that if you never even gave this a chance? Why does there have to be a time limit to feel something? I just think it was unfair because I haven't been given the chance and I could do better and try harder and I want to be given that opportunity. I know it might not make him feel differently but I can't look back and regret not trying for real. It just hurts crazy amounts that this was my first I love you and the other person says they don't feel that way back and it just hurts beyond belief.

I'm just so confused and sad. I'm confused why I feel so much stronger about him then he does about me. I didn't think he was that far behind me I even thought he loved me too. I just know I want him in my life he's become like a best friend and I can't bare the thought of not seeing him and talking to him everyday. I haven't talked to him in 3 days and its killing me and it makes me so sad that he might not feel like this too. I asked him to hang out today to start trying a couple days ago when we "broke up" but I haven't heard from him and that just tears me apart. I hope he's not trying to push me away and say it isn't worth it because I think it is. Like I said before how can you know if it can't be something if you never gave it your all and worked at it. Relationships are work and I think he thinks its supposed to be easy. I just want to try. And I guess what I'm asking are peoples opinions on the matter. I know you might say hes not worth it and there will be something better for you but I don't want to do that I want him. Also I wrote him a letter expressing a lot of what I have been feeling throughout the relationship and what I think of a lot of what he said. Should I send it? I want to I really do because I'm not good at saying these things but I need him to know. I just can't get over the hurt I am feeling. Please give advice and be kind I'm just not in a great spot.

[bcgirl]

One day you will look back and laugh at how pathetic and desperate you fell for your first love.
He's told u flat out that he doesn't have those feelings for you. Respect that. You can't force someone to feel something for u. Perhaps he isn't totally hung up on your looks (that's something u can't change no matter how many times u hang out with him) and therefore he ain't that into u. Even though I'm sure Seth Rogan would be fun and nice, no matter how many dates u put me on... I wouldn't be able to fall in love with him

[geminimoongal]

You are taking this very badly. You seem desperate to have him at any cost. We have all been through the pain you are feeling it is sooooooo horrible. He is the first real boyfriend for you so you have put all your hopes and dreams into him. Stop contacting him, trust me he will have more respect for you if you don't . Tell yourself you will get through this. He sounds like he has self esteem issues. He also made it clear that he does not feel for you the way you feel for him. The chemistry should be there from the start and clearly for him it wasn't. You should see your doc and ask for help with your feelings. Or look up on line how to get over someone. You are young so start building your self confidence so that the next relationship will be so much better.
Go to the broken heart forum and see how many people feel like you..............................Good luck

[kskts6115]

I know what you say is probably right but sometimes it is just so hard. Like other times I feel normal and like he did have a point but then other times I just feel so sad that I never showed him more how I felt and acted more like myself. I just keep flip flopping with these two thoughts and its giving me ups and downs.

When you say chemistry should have been there in the beginning I thought it was. He pursued me. I didn't want to get involved because I kind of thought that it would kind of end up in this position- where I need more and he can't give it to me. So I just feel really stupid ya know? It took a long time for me to want to do this, and when I did I put my heart into it and I just wish I showed him I did that. I guess it wouldn't change his feelings but it would make me feel better knowing what the time we spent together meant to me.

And I don't ever want to stop talking to him. He's like a best friend to me and I don't want to lose that. Like I said I can't imagine not talking to or seeing him. Yeah it would hurt like crazy but it would hurt so much more just shutting him out. Would it be possible to do this or am I just crazy?

And this is just hard for me because I do feel things so deeply. When I care about a person I truly really do care and give them a piece of my heart. I don't mean to come off needy but I just feel this place is a good way to express myself and at least tell someone how I feel.