How to ask if we're exclusive?

[babygirl09]

So, I've been seeing my guy for about 2 months, and we have been intimate. Before we reached that point, I said that I didn't want to be intimate with someone unless we were exclusive. His response was "Do you think I'm seeing anyone else?" And I said no, and he nodded in agreement...(I now recognize the ambiguity of this moment, but it seemed to make sense at the time.)

I mentioned in my last thread, that he's been a little distant - and all of a sudden I'm worried he might be seeing someone else, since we aren't "official". I really want to know if that's the case, as I don't want to continue our sexual relationship if we're not exclusive. However, he's not really the player type, so there is a good chance that I'm letting my anxiety get in the way of reality.

So, my question is: how do I ask this question without making him think that I'm getting clingy and jealous? (Admittedly, I may be getting a little jealous, but know that's ridiculous because this is a mythical "other woman".)

How do I ask him if we're exclusive? What do I say?

[Am I crazy?]

Simple. You simply open your mouth when sitting in a place that he can hear you and allow the words "honey, are we an exclusive couple?" to come out of your mouth and be heard. Don't ask the question when you are naked though, you probably wont get a straight answer. It is very reasonable to want to know where you stand before you lay down.

[vashti]

YOu could also just say "Listen, I don't want to date anyone else. Is that where you are, too?"

[Wakeup]

YOu could also just say "Listen, I don't want to date or have sex with anyone else. Is that where you are, too?"

I'd add the bolded portion if it were me. (what with all this NSA tripe going on these days where "dating" isn't even considered but sex is already taking place)

"Do you think I'm seeing anyone else?"

The ole answer a question with a question trick.

[babygirl09]

Thank you all so much, this was really helpful - I think sometimes it just helps to recognize that I'm not being clingy by not wanting someone I'm having sex with to have sex with other people. That's rational and legit.

[basilandthyme]

What's NSA?

[VerticalMoon]

I'd say something like this the next time you talk to him:

"So I've noticed you haven't seemed as interested in going out this past week as much as usual. I hope I don't make you feel like we have to go out all the time. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay?" Then after he responds assuming he says it's nothing, "So there aren't any other girls or anything?" If he says no, you say, "Good. So when we agreed to be exclusive, does that mean you can promise you won't be with anybody else unless we break things off first?" Hopefully, if everything goes well and he agrees, then you can let him know you didn't think he was that type - that you were just asking because you realized you'd never clarified that during your previous conversation. After that, you can change the subject. It shouldn't seem like a big deal to discuss something like that. Of course, if something comes up during the conversation or you don't feel like he's being honest, then you should have a longer talk. Communication is important for a good relationship.