Ok, Need to know if I'm just a fool in love...

[Ezekeil]

Hey,

Well...this is a long story so...care for some popcorn?

Pretty much I just need some clarification...I feel like...blah...(best describing word I could come up with)

Slight personal info:
Male...
25
Single

Story:
This all started back at the end of September. I was at work and my right eye was KILLING me (I wear contacts). I couldn't keep it open in the light and everything was blurry and its a huge safety concern since I drive a 24ft box truck...The boss man sent me home and I immediately went to the eye doctor. I wasn't scheduled so I had to wait at the office till they had a free slot...I was fine with this since I took my contact out and it wasn't as bad. There just happened to be a girl there that, even tho everything was blurry, caught my eye...haha...She ended up helping me pick out some new glasses but it was just normal conversation, nothing spectacular. Then I went in to see the doc...
*fast forward to me leaving*
I had to come back next Saturday cause it turns out I had a nice gash on me eyeball and that's pretty much what was making my life miserable. I found out that she wasn't going to be there when I got back, but I wanted the chance to talk to her again...
(quick side note)
I am a terribly awkward person. I have terrible social skills with the womenz because I have been single for a couple years now ever since I figured out that all women are evil in some way shape or another and I am relatively incompatible with most people, much less the opposite sex.
(story continuing)
...so SOMEHOW...that day I came up with the bright idea to write and sing a song, put it on a USB stick, and give it to her co-worker for delivery. I can write a tune, and play guitar...singing isnt my strong point tho but I said to myself "well, either she will think I'm a total creep for writing a song about her when I only talked to her for 5 minutes MAX and I will just have to go to a different eye doctor (lolz) or she will actually get back to me and everything will be right in the universe" I wrote the song, recorded it, polished it, and delivered it...
(Quick side note #2)
This is SOOO far out of my comfort zone. Like...grand slam territory. This was almost as hard for me to do as approaching a woman of such good looks and having anything comprehensible come out of my mouth besides "Duuuuuhhhhhh I like Teertuls..." But I figured you only live once eh?? oh...and I definitely have never done something like this before...
(story continuing)
...A couple days pass...nothing...I start to give up hope and start researching new Ophthalmologists when I receive a text from her...OH JOY!! ...We talk (text) to each other and find out that we both are artists, we both like the same kinds of music, we both have similar aspirations, we both are total nerds, we are both shy...pretty much we have way to much in common for such a random encounter. I grow a pair and ask her if she would like to meet up some time...she says "I would like to get to know you a little better first and I am not really looking for a relationship right now bla bla bla bla" ( I don't remember the rest because my heart ceased to beat for a couple minutes...technically dead)...I pushed on and found out she's never gone out on a date with anybody nor has she ever been in a close relationship...
(Quick Side Note #3)
Neither have I...well, nothing serious at least. Most times what has happened in the past is that the girl likes me but has a boyfriend and I still get love-struck and chase...then get flattened...or they do actually go out with me for a bit but then quickly find someone else more worth of their love and I am tossed out with the trash where I started.
(Story continuing)
...So I swallow the rejection and move on. We talk EVERYDAY...all thru text, mind you (kids these days jeez...) and it seems there is mutual interest in conversing because she will text me when I don't. Everything seems good and we are getting to know each other better. I ask her again if she wants to hang out...and she says yes!! O happy day!!...her work has a bowling thing they do at the end of every month...huh?...well whatever, at least she will be there. It was still a couple weeks away so the conversation continues via text. Bowling time comes and...oh gawd that's a whole different story of my miserable life but more or less nothing serious happens but we have a good time...for the short time I'm actually there *sigh*
More days pass and I ask her if she would want to hang out again...she says maybe...its not a NO!! yay!
More time passes and I figure, in my almighty wisdom, that it would be a great time to confess how much I like her...that fails miserably and I just end up feeling completely rejected. Ever doubt yourself so much that you feel sick to your stomach?
All this time I am getting rejected...she keeps telling me how much she likes talking to me...so I, in my head, go "Well, no date but at least she can talk to me..." Somehow that keeps me going (to this day). She is a very shy person, but in a completely opposite way that I'm shy. Its very hard at times to know if she even has a remote liking of me, because, unfortunately, Text doesn't convey much in the way of subtle emotions...and text'in is our primary (99% to 1%) form of communication.
More talking ensues, maybe...not as in depth?
But her birthday is the 12th of December and I get another bright idea...I will give her the best Birthday/Christmas present ever. We are both into this game called AION which is an MMO (actually she was the person that turned me onto it) and there is all sorts of questing and other nerd things. So I figure I will give her a quest! I plan it all out, not-so-secretly ask her a bunch of questions relating to things that I would think make a good gift, and set up all the locations...
(Not so Quick Side Note)
Ok, so this totally took a lot of planning. It was actually a lot of fun for me to! I got shopkeepers involved, drew a portrait of her, flowers, final big treasure chest with a bunch of stuffs I found she likes via question asking, etc... I really spent a lot more money then I thought I was going to and totally over extended my meager budget. I'm just gonna say that it went off PERFECTLY. All the destinations were easy to find, the shop keeps were awesome in helping me out, and it just couldn't have gone better. I had to make is so that I wasn't there cause I jus know that would make things more awkward for her, but she doesnt drive so I had to get her friends involved...so they took pictures all along the way and I think she actually really liked it...We talked on the phone finally afterwards so I guess that's progress? I think I thought that she would melt into my arms or something afterwards...I dun even kno
(story continued)
...It went well! and she ended up getting me some presents as well which was pretty freakin awesome...Now the holiday storm is all over...I talked to her via phone after she gave me presents and I thought it would be an awesome time to finally ask her if she wanted to hangout again...no...rejected...well, honestly it was another maybe haha not a no...

So...here I am, pathetically asking for advice on a forum about how to get this girl to like me like I like her. Oh, conversations have been more lively lately and just assume that between all these events we are talking everyday (more or less, there are days we don't talk at all). She is 22.

So what am I doing wrong? Her friends confirmed with me that I should be patient and that she is worth it and incredibly shy and always has been (probably the reason she hasn't been in a relationship)...but this is KILLING ME... ...should I back off? I feel like if I do that then she will forget all about me ...I am terrible at playing mind games, I am an honest person...with my feelings, with everything! so maybe I have just attached myself a little to much and distance is needed for me to think more clearly?? I'm pretty sure I will have to win her over somehow but I feel like I'm not even given the chance to do that...actually...I have no ****ing clue...I feel like...i have no ****ing clue what I feel like hahaha I'm sure I have left out details but its been months that I've been talking to her so I forget things haha I am scatterbrained

Any words of advice?

Ah...sorry in advance...the end got convoluted...the harder I tried to make what I feel coherent in text the harder I failed...

[pisces25]

So...here I am, pathetically asking for advice on a forum about how to get this girl to like me like I like her

You can't do anything to get someone to like you. In romantic terms anyway. To me the connection is there or it isn't.

You have told her how you have felt, you have lavished her with gifts, you have been consistent in your contact so I really don't think there is much more you can do. Her shyness could be the reason she is dragging her heels on this OR she doesn't feel a romantic connection with you and just wants to be friends, which I think is more the case based on her behaviour and her 'maybe' responses. If someone is interested, shy or not, I think they wouldn't hesitate to a date. I wouldn't read anything into how much texting is going back and forth. To me this is not the way to get to know someone. There needs to be plenty of face to face contact and even regular phone calls. Texts are impersonal and meaningless and can be hidden behind.

If I was in your situation I would give up. And I would also work on self-esteem, a few of your comments suggest you could use some improvement in that area. Having confidence in oneself makes a huge difference and it's attractive.

Good luck.

[Ezekeil]

thanks, thats pretty much the conclusion I was coming to.

I have confidence in my abilities but not myself. I will try and work on it.

[bcgirl]

You need to back off. Let her chase you for a while. If you're too easy and exude desperation....she's not that interested. If you play it cool and quit making yourself so easy...this will intrigue her and make her want to get to know you more. It's simple psychology. You gotta play a lil hard to get...keep her wanting more...

[bulrush]

I figured out that all women are evil in some way shape or another and I am relatively incompatible with most people, much less the opposite sex.

I think you are dating the wrong women. Try to think about who is more compatible with you, and seek them out.

that day I came up with the bright idea to write and sing a song, put it on a USB stick, and give it to her co-worker for delivery.

Don't do that. That's creepy for someone you aren't even dating. Do go out of your comfort zone, but try to do appropriate things also at the appropriate times.

I pushed on and found out she's never gone out on a date with anybody nor has she ever been in a close relationship...

I don't like how this is going. She could be really insecure, which will cause major problems in any relationship. But if you two have a lot in common, things might work out anyway. But she may be commitment phobic. But...there are so many "buts".

All this time I am getting rejected...

You are misinterpreting the signs. She didn't reject you. She said she is shy, and her message is that she wants to get to know you as a friend first, maybe more later.

So...here I am, pathetically asking for advice on a forum about how to get this girl to like me like I like her.

You can't force someone to like you. There is either compatibility, or there isn't. If there is compatibility, the rest comes easily.

So, was this a real life quest? Or a quest in the AION game?

[Ezekeil]

Bulrush:

It was a real life quest. I jus knew she would be into cause of the game. It was more like a treasure hunt sorta deal but I called it a quest cause its kinda the same difference. There were 5 locations and her and her friends got to drive around figuring out the clues and picking up the presents. It turned out well haha i got all the pictures Yea...see I thought the song thing would be kinda creepy to but I dunno what made me do it...nor do I know what made her actually follow up...maybe it was jus a good song hahahahahaha i kid i kid.

But...there are so many "buts".

I kno!! its terrible...I mean, who in their right mind responds to a song a random dude you talked to for 5 minutes at work sent you? Why do we randomly have everything in common? I dun wanna go on the "it must be fate" thing...all starry eyed and such...but...I have honestly never met someone that shared so many of the same interests.

[Ezekeil]

BCgirl: I will try laying off for a bit. Its tough for me cause it seems counter productive to me, but I understand what you mean...will give it my best! Will...Steeled!! >:[