Break after five years - advice on feelings

[Wallace545]

Forum,

It feels strange talking about this on-line, but I would really welcome your views.

I've recently agreed to a short break with my girlfriend of five years. We've been very happy together (hardly any arguments) but progress has been slow (e.g. not living together, no plans to marry or have kids) so we've agreed to a break so we can both think things through. Obviously after this length of time we both deeply care for each other.

My questions:
1- How can you be sure you're together out of love and not convenience?
2- I do not feel very teary, maybe its shock, I just feel like 1/3 of my life is missing (maybe slightly lonely). Is this a sign I do not deeply love the person or perhaps because it's only a break the emotions have not hit?
3- How would you decide what to do?

Many thanks for any and all comments,
W.

[girl68]

Deep care isn't enough to keep people together forever.

And if you're old enough late 20's or older, you'd think after 5 years both of you would know if you wanted to spend the rest of your life together.

Sounds to me it is out of conveince.

[Gigabitch]

How many risks have you ever taken, Wallace?

[Primo]

Well combining your statement before question #2, with the fact that your relationship has treaded water longer than a Navy Seal. It's probably time you think about moving on with your life and looking for something more.

[Wallace545]

Girl68 - yes we are both mid to late 20's.
Gigabitch - by risk, do you mean things like moving in together? Or do you mean breaking up and then taking the risk that i'll find someone else?

Thank you for your replies by the way!

[girl68]

So then most people at that age know (in 5 years) if this person will fit into the "rest of the life" picture or not. Being unsure is pretty much a "no, this person is not the one".

[Wallace545]

Is it a bit shallow that after all these years, it is a number of physical attributes that I find least appealing?

Wallace.

[tombot]

Ref the feelings: that everyone has their own way of dealing with things. Dont push them away, or try to have them. Just accept the way you are. Use the time to rediscover yourself, and can see whether she means that much to you.