Need urgent advice

[jakki2903]

Firstly thanks for all who respond.

Now this may sound pathetic but it's bothering me.

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months now and I brought up the subject about xmas presents for each other and whether or not we should have a budget (mostly cos I'd spend a fortune on him), anyway he suggested £80!! Now I know that chrismas is a time for giving not receiving etc but then he had the cheek to phone me and say he was gonna spend £70 on a toaster!! Now I think that how can he even give a cr5p about me when he’s barely gonna spend on me what he would on a household appliance. I mean, I spent more than that on his birthday and this is supposed to be a bloke who loves me.

What do you all think? Am I being stupid or should I contemplate ditching him??

Thanks

[KirstyM]

Are you seriously going to ditch him purely because he will "only" spend £80 on you?!

I would say for a first Christmas with a boyfriend of three months, £80 sounds rather generous.

Isn't it the relationship or his love which counts rather than the amount of money he is willing to spend on you??

[BigTen#95]

Are you seriously going to ditch him purely because he will "only" spend £80 on you?!

I would say for a first Christmas with a boyfriend of three months, £80 sounds rather generous.

Isn't it the relationship or his love which counts rather than the amount of money he is willing to spend on you??

I agree, to an extent. I'm only 18 and have very little money....the girls I date are similar in their finacial struggles. 3 months? Thats not long, I wouldn't even expect a girl to get me anything for X-mas after only 3 months of dating....if she did, I would not want her to spend 80 bucks on me, nor would I her. Hell I only have twice that in my account. My finacial situation is different then yours, I'm sure, but I would never spend 80 bucks on a girl I'd been with for 3 months. I don't think you should even contemplate spliting with him, cause I feel 80 bucks is pretty ****in generous.

bigten

[cbee]

I wouldn't mind a guy spending £80 on me, actually in my book that's quite a lot even if you've been going out for a long, time but £70 on a toaster?

Surely that's excessive!

[KirstyM]

I wouldn't mind a guy spending £80 on me, actually in my book that's quite a lot even if you've been going out for a long, time but £70 on a toaster?

Surely that's excessive!

Lmao, actually, you have a point....

[jakki2903]

Lmao, actually, you have a point....

I know it's the thought that counts and I was being oversensitive about it but spending £70 on a toaster v's the person u love?? I mean that is way mean and very tight. We shouldn't have discussed budgets as this is the scenario that occurs! Major disappointment. His gift won't measure his love however when he moans he is really broke then does that I have to wonder.

Last night I was out and bumped into him - not intentionally anyway, this girl kept trying to come onto him and he brushed it off, apparently though she'd being doing it all night. Why couldn't he just say 'hey leave it out I have a girlfriend'. Do you think these subtle things indicate anything?

Jakki

[Nameless18]

Hes giving you a toaster for xmas or something?? omg..

[cbee]

Well he did brush her off. I don't know what to say, I chat/semi-flirt with guys the whole time regardless of whether I'm attached or not & any guy I'm with has to deal with that, although I will go out of my way to make sure he knows he's my number 1 and I definitely won't cheat.

It sounds like me you're unsure of yourself & how he sees you. Maybe working on your self-confidence would be an idea rather than worrying about what he does. Then see whether you think he's worth your time.

[blue]

jakki,
from the start of this realtionship i think that you have been unsure of yourself & your realtionship. I think that its time to look back listen and reevaluate your relationship. I mean you are constantly unsure of weather he loves you, if he has been seeing someone else and now this with the toaster. and the flirting. Are you happy? Is he? Have you talked to him about any of these small issues?

[kanzaki]

relax jakki, i was in ur situation

sometimes, we take things like, we should love each other because of who u are and not based on money. BUT sometimes, you will just have to take that we live in a reality world and not some fairy tale. Surely that quote is true and we should stick to it. But it is unavoidable that we feel not happy oevr small issues.

I used to even go screaming when his ex bumped into him and said hi. I was behind him. He just answered a few question and just took off. But no matter what i dun feel good and it took me quite awhile before i actually spoke to him (i dun want him to say i am immature) and apparently, i am glad i did

small matter actually can become something big

p/s>> HE IS BUYING U A TOASTER ??????????WTF????????

[KirstyM]

I know it's the thought that counts and I was being oversensitive about it but spending £70 on a toaster v's the person u love?? I mean that is way mean and very tight. We shouldn't have discussed budgets as this is the scenario that occurs! Major disappointment. His gift won't measure his love however when he moans he is really broke then does that I have to wonder.

Last night I was out and bumped into him - not intentionally anyway, this girl kept trying to come onto him and he brushed it off, apparently though she'd being doing it all night. Why couldn't he just say 'hey leave it out I have a girlfriend'. Do you think these subtle things indicate anything?

Jakki

Yeah they indicate you're insecure. You cant compare the amount of money he spends on you to the amount he spends on household appliances. Who cares how much he spends on toasters (though really I mean he could get one for like thirty quid, why's he spending so much?) all that matters is that you're together. It doesnt matter how much he spends on you (though £80 is rather generous). Its not like its you versus the toaster.

As for the other night, he did keep brushing her off, didnt he? So you have nothing to worry about. You fell for him, so other girls are gonna be attracted to him too but he's obviously not interested in anyone other than you so just relax and enjoy your relationship. Seriously, you have nothing to worry about.

[KirstyM]

p/s>> HE IS BUYING U A TOASTER ??????????WTF????????

No I think he is spending £80 on her Christmas and then on a completely different matter he is buying a £70 toaster for himself.

[kanzaki]

No I think he is spending £80 on her Christmas and then on a completely different matter he is buying a £70 toaster for himself.

okie.....this way it's better

[jakki2903]

Well, I am definitely very insecure and I am trying to change that. He was incredibly pi55ed on that night out and I guess I was letting the drink tell me a whole load of rubbish.

I am however a bit insecure now about my friend - since meeting her - he keeps asking me about her - like - have I spoke to her blah blah. But then she did sleep with his mate on my sofa (bl55dy cheek) so maybe I am looking into this stupidly and he’s only doing what I’d do if I’d seen him out with his mate the night before. Her however is a different story - I confided in her about the toaster and she goes and says outloud ‘oh I heard about the £70 toaster’ like trying to get a dig - obviously he’s gonna think I’ve been discussing the relationship with her. She doesn’t like it when I’m happy and she kept looking at him on the Sat night - do you think this is all in my head or does she like him?

She has the morals of an alleycat in that she had a 5 year relationship and must have cheated (and I meant slept with) approx 30/40 people behind his back.

I know he wouldn’t do that to me.

Oh I am so emotionally messed up.

He met half my family yesterday and I met his mum.

I just keep feeling so unsure of everything. I don’t know what to do. Need advice!!???