Cute girl but no opportunity to chat to her!

[battlingpig]

Hi, im a uni student on my second year. Let me tell you a bit about my story.
Ive just gone through a tough breakup and for me to move on i need to be with other girls and go on dates etc. Ive only had one girlfriend which lasted 16 months and ive never really had confidence or experiance to chat to other girls, because i never had to flirt with anyone whilst with my ex.
I live in my halls of residence, and ive noticed a girl who keeps saying hi to me and smiles at me. She's really cute and i'd love to chat to her. But over the past few weeks ive seen her about 4 or 5 times just walking past each other. She has said hi to me each time and ive just ignored her. Stupid i know, but it used to feel uncomfortable because i was still trying to get back with my ex. Yesterday she was waiting outside the block and i walked pasted her, she was on the phone and said Hiya really loudly, whilst looking at me.
I just kept on walking because i thought she said hiya to someone on the phone. A few seconds later i realised, DAMN, she was blatently saying hi to me. I said hi to her today after she said it to me.

I want to start a conversation with her, but its so difficult because we always walk past each other. The time never seems right to say anything.
I could start up a conversation, asking if she said hi to me the other day while she was still on the phone and say sorry for seeming ignorant, im sure that would start a conversation off.

Ive never bumped into her whilst out with my friends. She is in my block but she is on a higher floor. I only ever see her when i go out for a smoke and shes either going out or coming back from uni.

Does anyone have any tips for spontaniously starting up a conversation?

thanks

[Primo]

What's her name?

[MVPlaya]

"Hey, I always bump into you but I never got your name."

Or:

As she says hi. Stop, say "hey, how've you been?" Then start a normal conversation from there.

[Primo]

How about I always see you around and say hi, but you know, I don't even know your name...I'm (extend your hand and insert your name here).

[battlingpig]

it will sound obvious im trying to come onto her if i start a conversation spontaniously. wouldnt it?

[Primo]

it will sound obvious im trying to come onto her if i start a conversation spontaniously. wouldnt it?

You see her quite often and exchange hello's, but don't know each other's names. It's not spontaneous the next time you see her to introduce yourself. First it's courteous and second you two may actually have a spark.

If not, at least when you say hi from then on, you can say "Hi (girls name)" That's more personal and friendly than just hi.

[MVPlaya]

it will sound obvious im trying to come onto her if i start a conversation spontaniously. wouldnt it?

Are you an idiot?

There are plenty of reasons in this universe to converse with someone other than wanting to **** them. Believe it or not, people of opposite sexes frequently interact with eachother on a daily basis without coming on to them. If you are too embarassed to respond to a girl telling you "hi," then you need to turn off your computer and walk out of your windowless room to interact with real live human beings for a change.

[battlingpig]

what the **** mvplaya! i think maybe it should be you who gets out of your windowless room, look at you with your 1000+ posts. that suggests to me you have nothing to do with your life other than comment on other peoples misfortune and relationship problems to comfort your own problems.

i have no intention to **** this girl. and if you would care to read my post, i said i have just been through a tough breakup, the relationship lasted 16 month. i am finding it hard to get back in the game. the least i need is for you to wipe your own depression on me. you even commented on my thread with your usual arrogance. i think it is you who needs to interact with real people, and learn how to hold a conversation.

All I need is a little confidence boost, not a confidence killer. Shame on you mvplaya.

[battlingpig]

when i said 'it will sound obvious that im coming onto her' i meant it could seem creepy to this other girl if i just stop her while shes walking past.

[battlingpig]

and yes Mvplaya, seen as you are a WOW fan, i know i am right about you needing to interact with real people.

[MVPlaya]

All your insults are just amusing. Everything you know about me, I've willingly revealed. If I were embarrassed, I wouldn't go around admitting it, now would I? My 1,000 posts here are since 2003, the year I signed up. I've posted 81 times here this year, feel free to compare your own posts per day with mine if you want. And I quit WoW 2.5 years ago, but even for the couple months that I would become an obsessive WoW player, I still either had a girlfriend or was seeing girls.

Hell, if you want more nerdy facts about me, here: I had a debate scholarship to college, I scored over 1500 out of 1600 on the SATs, I graduated with high honors from Berkeley, I subscribe to Scientific American, I read the news around 1 hour each day, I periodically read classic literature, just finished Dante's Inferno, presently working my way through Ulysses by James Joice. I've also read all of the original Dune novels and the atrocious Kevin Anderson / Brian Herbert spin-offs.

And if you want another fact about me, I've slept with 3 new girls since last week.

I'm definitely a nerd and not the least bit ashamed of it, but unlike lots of nerds who wear it on their sleeves, I'm also athletic, in great shape, have an active social life, and great friends. So when I tell you something that burns, you can try your best to swing back, or you can listen, and you really need to listen:

When you are too nervous to respond to a simple "hello" because you think greeting people is awkward, when you think that engaging someone in a conversation is potentially creepy, then posting on a forum will not fix anything for you. The only solution is to go out into the real world and interact with people, even strangers that you have no prior connection to. That is the only way you can get over these self-constructed social phobias that plague you everywhere.

If you want to get better, not only at attracting women, but being a socially competent human being, then I HIGHLY recommend you do the following things to force yourself to interact with others, because interacting with people and repeating the same processes over is the only way you will finally realize how normal these simple things are that you seem to psych yourself out of doing. So do the following:

Join a student club / the school gym.

Flirt with the cute girl from your English lab, it doesn't have to be serious, there are plenty of people you can flirt with and become friends with, some of my best female friends I met via silly innocuous flirting, and I'm grateful for their friendship.

Practice holding eye contact with strangers, just do this, as you walk down the street, hold eye contact with people you pass. Thats it, just hold eye contact.

Strike up random conversations with strangers. This is not just women you are attracted to, it could be the grocery store owner, a sixty year old at the same bus stop, people headed to the same event as you (theater, concert, whatever). This is especially important, because being able to start an organic conversation with people is one of the best ways to teach you how to strike up conversations with women you are attracted to. Because at the end of the day, to start a conversation someone, it should make very little difference whether they are male or female, young or old, attractive or not, only as the conversation and connections are established will the way you treat a girl you are attracted to begin to show itself, until then, she's just another person.

when i said 'it will sound obvious that im coming onto her' i meant it could seem creepy to this other girl if i just stop her while shes walking past.

No, its not creepy, in any way shape or form. I do it all the time, if a girl doesn't have much time, I can read it in her body language, tell her I need to go somewhere, give her a hug and we both head off. If she doesn't want to stop, she won't to begin with. And if she wants to talk, she'll stay and talk. You are giving her an option, she makes the choice. Presenting an option is not creepy unless you are forcing her, which you are not.

[bloodtippedrose]

hey i didnt read the posts in between your thread starting one and my own so sorry if somethin else is going on and im being an idiot right inbetween but I mean cmon MVP shes making it obvious she'd like to talk to you. You can say anything between how are you doing to complementing what shes wearing. keep it rolling. Even if you cant keep it rolling and its awkward its cute and it makes it easier for her to start a convo with you next time. Say anything! stop walking by her when she says hi ;P just stop once and stand by her and smile. so cute.

[Sanctuary]

I was reading this thread and it got pretty hilarious when battlingpig just exploded lol.

what the **** mvplaya!

Lol didn't see that coming at all.

Anyway, if you initiate open conversation with someone and you feel like you're being a creep, then that might actually turn into a self fulfilling prophecy cuz girls can pick up on nervousness. But if you're that incredibly insecure or you actually get negative responses, work on improving your looks, i.e. get new clothes etc, fix up your appearance a bit. And take MVP's advice on getting more comfortable talking to people.

Also, there is NOTHING wrong with letting a girl know that you might be interested in her. If you think there's a problem with that, that's more a reflection on your self esteem than MVP's methods.

MVP I got your back guy lol

[BoredGeorge]

Ask her if she wants to have a root.

At that age girls just love to tease and they'll sleep around a lot too. Maybe you are a good looking guy and she will go out with you in that case just man up and stop being a wuss.

I'm an ugly bastard who has never had a girlfriend and I have the courage to talk to girls despite always being rejected so maybe you should stop being such a wimp and just talk to her.

[BoredGeorge]

Wow you've never even spoken to her and she fancies you and you turned down the opportunity to get laid.. wow ...I don't have sympathy for people like you, you seem to have everything handed to you.