got dumped idk what to do

[twarren86]

i need some advice on this very confusing situation...so my girlfriend and i slowly grew apart over the past few months, and she started hanging out with this other guy. i asked her about it and she told me that she was just friends with him bc it was her moms friends son. she went to the sate fair with this guy and held his hang and has been texting him a lot. she says she loves me but doesnt know if shes happy. i have tried to hang out with her and sometimes we do and we have a lot of fun but latley it feels like she is just pushing me away and then pulling me back like one day she says she loves me then the next she doesnt? she says she isnt sure what she wants anymore. we continued to talk on and off but she would just lead me on and flirt with me, keeping me close yet pushing me away. she sent me a text saying that she knows we will eventually be together again, but right now this is how it has to be. but she also text me every morning and calls me everynight and if i dont repond or answer she will call two more times or if its a text she will wait an hour then send another one and then if no respons she will do it again but she wont answer my text or calls and if i do what she does she says im pushing her away? so the other day i told her that i cannot talk to her anymore about this because i am just lying to myself that she will come back. i still love her more than anything and she is on my mind all day every day i would do anything for her and she knows that. she says she just wants to be friends right now but i cant stand the thought of her being with someone else i cant be friends with her if she goes with another guy. what should i do? i am going crazy. all i do is still at home bc her friends are my friends to.

[IndiReloaded]

Aw man, sorry. Just have a good cry, vent whatever helps. Be kind to yourself for the next week. Then hit the gym, go out w/some guy buds to a pub and try again. You'll be fine, there's life after breakup.

[Andariel]

I am really sorry you are hurting. Break ups are really tough, especially when your significant other does not straight out tell you that they just don't want to be with you anymore and they are filling your mind with lame excuses because they don't want to feel like the bad guy or even because they want to keep you around in case they change their minds.

You gave her your heart and she didn't appreciate it. She is obviously thinking that the grass is greener elsewhere and wants to give it a shot.If it works out she will be pleased as punch and you will be history to her; if not she will try to convince you to take her back.

Don't allow her to use you like that.I know it is hard but the best thing you can do right now is accept this is over.You were right in telling her that you can't be friends (at least not while you still have feelings for her) and No Contact should be your motto from now on.

Also, you need to get out of the house.Sitting at home on your own is only going to make things worse. Take up a new hobby, volunteer, hit the gym, talk to friends you trust so that you don't keep all the pain bottled up inside. You might also want to write down how you feel as this is a very helpful way of getting all those thoughts that keep torturing you out of your head-this worked wonders for me when I was going through a really bad break up in the past.

You will feel better soon, time is a great healer. Just stick to No Contact with her and focus all of your energy on yourself instead.

[twarren86]

I should add that we have been dating for ten months now. But I do love her and want to be with her it is just so hard not to talk to her but I know she's talking to another guy I just don't see how she can move on so fast like that?

[Toddstar]

My ex was seeing someone else 3 weeks after we split up the first time. The we reconcilled, broke up and 3 weeks later...same thing. 3 months later, reconcile, break up after a month and...you guessed it. 3 weeks later she is with another dude. Flash-forward 5 months, she's living with a guy and this time successfully ropes me back in. For the SOLE reason of wanting me waiting in the wings because she was going through a rough patch with her live-in. I did anything she asked with the idea that she was going to kick buddy out. She never did. Now she wont even talk to me. But she certainly got what she wanted from me. I was the safety net while she worked out her relationship. I got kicked to the curb when that circus was over.

Moral is...some people are just no good; they are needy, selfish, cant be alone...and dont care about the damage they are doing to the ones they leave behind. It may take you a while but one day, like me, you will wake up and realize you are a much better person without her. Hard now? Yes. But hang on. Trust me. Hang on. There are others out there. They will come to you.

And I would bet you your ex is not happy anyway. Just think of that. People like her just never are.

[oldskool83]

you will be fine but as you said you saw writing on the wall, talking to other guys and such. how old are you? you sound younger but who knows. your g/f sounds wish washy, she likes somthing about you or is just letting you down easy. id not talk with her, treat her how you were treated. women can be as much as assholes as men, they just do it in different ways.

and honestly maybe shes one of them types that always has to have somthing right away, nots never good either. focus on yourself and come some new interests, u will think clear shortly and hopefully run into sum1 who is worth your time, because calling and texing ya every morn is just leading ya on.

[Mike588]

I know what your going thru. My g/f of ten months just left me for her ex boyfriend and it hurts like hell. It's not going to help just being friends, dont do it or you will never heal. Tell her how you feel and stick with the no contact rule,, give her time to miss you. No calling, texting, e-mails . I feel sick to my stomach just knowing they are together, sure u do to about your g/f.
Hang in there, it does get better,really!

[twarren86]

mike do you think you guys will get back together? bc i do want to get back together with my ex now and thats all i want but i know its not right. and yea im 19 almost 20 so i am kinda young but still i do feel like i lvoed her and i put everything in the relationship. but if its like todd says i guess theres no point in even trying to get back together bc that would hurt me even more each time.