Me & Girlfriend split up

[helpme...]

hello, ive been goin out with a girl for 4 months now, and the last month has been horrible as i havent known where i stood with her as she didnt no if she still wanted to be with me and she said she wanted to be single for a bit during it but i didnt think it was that jus didnt fink i was as much fun as i was the first couple of months and i got boring, 3 weeks ago we split up and were mates and then we start seeing each otha but not properly goin out so like kissing and that so it didnt feel any different when i was with her, but when she goes home she doesnt no what she wants and we been like this for weeks now and i love her to bits and last night she told me that she doesnt feel like she loves me and after that we kinda ended it comepletey but were still gonna meet up on sundays, but its really hard to move on all i can think about the first time we met and do things on my own that would have been done with her, she was saying last night that pretty girls will look at me as ive recently joined the gym and i could meet someone there cos i fink i need to just to try and move on, so she wants me to move on which means theres no chance really of me and her getting back together,

thanks for reading any comments or advice would be grateful

[Mathias]

Stop meeting her.

Get a clean break, and move on with your life.

[vashti]

I agree. Hanging out with her on Sundays will only drag out your misery. Cut it off completely, at least until you are over her.

[helpme...]

yea i no ur rite but i dont wana do that incase i still have a chance with her and id regret it

[Gigabitch]

You might still have a chance with her later if you grow a spine NOW and get on with your life. Or, you could meet someone completely different who knocks your socks off. What you're doing now is disrespecting yourself. Not attractive. Not to me, not to her, not to anybody. Stop it.

[Binxy]

I gave a short recount of my situation when I signed up. I had posted something here, but for some reason it didn't post, so I'll try to recap what I had said.

First of all, if a girl wants some time away, more than likely, not always but most of the time she's going towards ending the relationship for good. Now this is where the tricky part comes in. If she cares for you as a friend, she'll still want to see you. This can be very painful, and really, painful can't even describe what you'll end up feeling if you continue to see her "as friends" when you love her. You won't be able to let your heart heal properly from the break up because the old wounds will keep opening each time you see her, and you'll get to a point that you might start lying to yourself thinking she has to still love you, why else would she want to see you. Don't fall in that trap. There is a difference of friends and lovers. If someone isn't in Love, they know it, just like the person who's in Love knows that. Let this one go. Another girl will come alone who'll love.

At this point you need to take a deep breath in, let it out, take it in again, if you feel like crying over her then do it. But after all of that, let her go. You'll find yourself in a full battle with your heart and mind over this, and you have to pull some strength from I don't know where so you do the right thing. 6 years I was with my ex, and held onto him since he wanted to be friends from January until just two weeks ago. It ripped me apart, it changed me as a person, and I don't ever want to be that person again for anyone. There are worse things in life than losing love by not having the person we're in love with no longer love us and tell us that....many times. Just remember that.

So, what you do after you have a good cry and your ready to try to move on is you play lots of games on the computer, xbox, anything like that, or you go see lots of movies with friends who you like to laugh a lot with. Surround yourself with friends who love and enjoy life and who love to laugh. Go find a pumpkin patch, do something fun and unique and if she starts to creep into your thoughts, just flat out scream to yourself in your thoughts "NOOOOO" and don't let her in there. If you have trouble sleeping at night, get a good book to read (no love stories, nothing sad), and get so engrossed in the book you won't even think about her. Start with little things like that, and it'll get a little easier every day.

I hope I helped at least just a little, or helped someone a little.

Live and Love Life to the Fullest!
Smile, Laugh, Feel joy again.
I'll be thinking about you,
Binxy

p.s. Another Golden Rule.....do NOT listen to love songs...listen to fun upbeat songs, songs that make you feel good. Don't listen to any songs that make you feel a strong tie to her. Listen to some of the 80's songs when punk rock was in.....who can tell what they're singing about, but we sure had fun listening and dancing to those years ago LOL.

Good Luck, and I'll be thinking about you!

[helpme...]

helloo again, well my ex told me that she wants to see me again in a few days, and we been talking bout getting back together but i dont no about it bcos if i get bk wit her i dont want a couple weeks or month down the line and have her sayin i dont no if she wants to be with me anymore,and everyone is telling me that i should move on and forget her and i no you lot are goin to say the same but she does make me really happy when im with her but ive got a problem bcos i saw this new girl i feel i can do better but i no wit her it wont work but with me ex it will well better than the new girl as she lives closer but if i got back with my ex id feel really bad bcos im lying to her,

my problem is weather i want to be with someone or weather to be single, i like bein with someone as i like havin someone there and that will be all the time im with her, but like with being single i like havin freedom and doing wot i want when i want and it doesnt matter, but if i say i dont want to be in a relationship im scared i will regret it after a little bit and want to be wit her again

[Gigabitch]

I think you should spend some time being single. I don't think you really want a girlfriend.

[Mathias]

I gave a short recount of my situation when I signed up. I had posted something here, but for some reason it didn't post, so I'll try to recap what I had said.

First of all, if a girl wants some time away, more than likely, not always but most of the time she's going towards ending the relationship for good. Now this is where the tricky part comes in. If she cares for you as a friend, she'll still want to see you. This can be very painful, and really, painful can't even describe what you'll end up feeling if you continue to see her "as friends" when you love her. You won't be able to let your heart heal properly from the break up because the old wounds will keep opening each time you see her, and you'll get to a point that you might start lying to yourself thinking she has to still love you, why else would she want to see you. Don't fall in that trap. There is a difference of friends and lovers. If someone isn't in Love, they know it, just like the person who's in Love knows that. Let this one go. Another girl will come alone who'll love.

At this point you need to take a deep breath in, let it out, take it in again, if you feel like crying over her then do it. But after all of that, let her go. You'll find yourself in a full battle with your heart and mind over this, and you have to pull some strength from I don't know where so you do the right thing. 6 years I was with my ex, and held onto him since he wanted to be friends from January until just two weeks ago. It ripped me apart, it changed me as a person, and I don't ever want to be that person again for anyone. There are worse things in life than losing love by not having the person we're in love with no longer love us and tell us that....many times. Just remember that.

So, what you do after you have a good cry and your ready to try to move on is you play lots of games on the computer, xbox, anything like that, or you go see lots of movies with friends who you like to laugh a lot with. Surround yourself with friends who love and enjoy life and who love to laugh. Go find a pumpkin patch, do something fun and unique and if she starts to creep into your thoughts, just flat out scream to yourself in your thoughts "NOOOOO" and don't let her in there. If you have trouble sleeping at night, get a good book to read (no love stories, nothing sad), and get so engrossed in the book you won't even think about her. Start with little things like that, and it'll get a little easier every day.

I hope I helped at least just a little, or helped someone a little.

Live and Love Life to the Fullest!
Smile, Laugh, Feel joy again.
I'll be thinking about you,
Binxy

p.s. Another Golden Rule.....do NOT listen to love songs...listen to fun upbeat songs, songs that make you feel good. Don't listen to any songs that make you feel a strong tie to her. Listen to some of the 80's songs when punk rock was in.....who can tell what they're singing about, but we sure had fun listening and dancing to those years ago LOL.

Good Luck, and I'll be thinking about you!

This helped ME a ton.

Fantastic post.

[helpme...]

but i really like havin someone to talk to like say things that happen in my day and im my past and just havin new experiances, but i think id like my ex to go out more with me and then i can apreciate havin a gf, as wit her b4 she never wanted to go out wit me, like if i sed to her i only will get back with her if she started going cinema,meals, n stuff like that with me

[Gigabitch]

but i really like havin someone to talk to like say things that happen in my day and im my past and just havin new experiances, but i think id like my ex to go out more with me and then i can apreciate havin a gf, as wit her b4 she never wanted to go out wit me, like if i sed to her i only will get back with her if she started going cinema,meals, n stuff like that with me

I don't understand how you come to your conclusions. You're so... logical. Have you ever had strong feelings for someone?

[helpme...]

yes with my ex

[Binxy]

I was just wondering if there were any new developments in your situation. How are you doing?