Id Like to lose my virginity before getting into a long term relationship

[The Greatest]

The title says it all. Im 20 and a virgin. Its never been a huge deal for me but recently its changed.

Im not a sleezey guy but Id love to be taken for a spin before commiting. Is this wrong morally, or do you see this as an inapporpriate thing?

I feel it is right for me.

As i said in my introductory post, Im quite decent with girls although I have never been in a long term relationship

With respect from other posters, where would you recommend finding people who are interested in 'experimenting' the same way as myself?
This is disregarding prostitutes etc. A heat of the moment situation you know?

Thanks

[MaidenMinx]

LOL!! Love your wording there!

Personally, I feel there is nothing wrong with wanting to rid yourself of the big V.
As for finding people, I have no ideas. A blunt personal add on a semi-sleazy site maybe?

[The Greatest]

LOL!! Love your wording there!

Haha what wording are you refering to?! I aimed for sophistication in my writing. I try to avoid the sleeze tag

The sites are maybe too intense for my liking unless someone on here has tried them out?

I see your new on here..what state in Aus are you from?

[MaidenMinx]

the being taken for a spin bit.

I too am in N.S.W.

[Cinnabella]

lol...............

[sadie_genie]

Go to a bar, club, party, etc to find a girl who just want a one night stand. That way, no feelings will be hurt and you won't have to be worried about morality.

[listen not hear]

You can go to the club especially in Vegas, everyone goes there to experiment. Or you can go to AFF (adult friend finder) and make a profile explaining your situation. It's not necessarily morally wrong in my book as long as the girl knows your intentions. Don't pretend you like her for her in other words, which I'm sure that's not what you're paling on doing. Just saying, make sure she knows...preferably with someone far away who you wont bump into coincidentally in case things end badly. Believe me, when it comes to sex so many things can end badly filled with drama I don't have time to go into a deep explanation. Keep in mind...there is no such things as casual sex--I'll explain scientifically later.

So if this is what you want those are the places you can go and that's the advise I suggest keeping in mind in you search. But I'm a mother to a son and I have to give you the same advise as I would be giving him when he hits that age otherwise I wouldn't exactly be a good mother...there are dangers into losing your virginity. NO, I don't mean God will smite thee! I'm just saying, I don't care what you say it will most likely lead you to problems. If you pick an "experience" girl there are issues with STD's. If you pick a virgin there is a possibility of over attachment...on both ends, especially her end. Also if she's a stranger, which not only means you can never really know if she's experience or a virgin, it also means your first time probably wont be very great and ruin the intensity of the first time with a woman you actually like. Or lets say the woman you do end up falling for is a virgin herself...how would she feel about you not being one like her? She may not make a big deal out of it but it would most likely hurt her at least a bit. She may be one of those women who keep thinking..."Am I better?" Also by having "casual sex" with someone to loss your virginity just sounds irresponsible and compulsive. Makes you seem like sex is really nothing to you but sex. For a woman this will be a turn off! Especially since we like to think of sex as an extension of how we feel. We are communicators remember? Everything we do is through communication. Scientifically that's what we are good at, that's what our brains are wired to do from birth. So if your future partner is very friendly and an open communicator she most likely sees sex as an extension of her feelings of love. Telling her your first time (which will come up eventually by the way) would be sending her red flags that just aren't there.

Now, I mention before there is no such thing as casual sex...I'll tell you why. All love is is the endorphins in the brain sending signals of endearment whenever your with a special someone. When men have sex they produce a lot of adrenalin and the brain releases a lot of testosterone and...try to guess...yeah, endorphins. And like shock therapy doing it so many times will give you the appearance of being in love with someone you don't even like. Thus why so many people end up in obviously bad relationships they swear up and down they love them when there simply isn't a reason to love that person. Sex is addictive, just like gambling, shopping, adrenaline junkies and so on...you need to be careful, especially as a virgin, who you pick to do this with and how many times you do.

Now if you know all the risks and consequences to losing your virginity and still want to do it, go for it...just pick a girl that's on birth control because the last thing you need is to feel trapped by her with a child she claims is yours. And use a condom regardless of the pill or not...even if she's been recently tested or claims to be a virgin. A lot of STD's are not traceable till years later and some are simply invisible. Also, virgins still can have herpes. I knew a little girl who had it because her mother had an outbreak during birth to her. Anyway, have fun! Good luck!

[The Greatest]

You can go to the club especially in Vegas, everyone goes there to experiment. Or you can go to AFF (adult friend finder) and make a profile explaining your situation. It's not necessarily morally wrong in my book as long as the girl knows your intentions. Don't pretend you like her for her in other words, which I'm sure that's not what you're paling on doing. Just saying, make sure she knows...preferably with someone far away who you wont bump into coincidentally in case things end badly. Believe me, when it comes to sex so many things can end badly filled with drama I don't have time to go into a deep explanation. Keep in mind...there is no such things as casual sex--I'll explain scientifically later.

So if this is what you want those are the places you can go and that's the advise I suggest keeping in mind in you search. But I'm a mother to a son and I have to give you the same advise as I would be giving him when he hits that age otherwise I wouldn't exactly be a good mother...there are dangers into losing your virginity. NO, I don't mean God will smite thee! I'm just saying, I don't care what you say it will most likely lead you to problems. If you pick an "experience" girl there are issues with STD's. If you pick a virgin there is a possibility of over attachment...on both ends, especially her end. Also if she's a stranger, which not only means you can never really know if she's experience or a virgin, it also means your first time probably wont be very great and ruin the intensity of the first time with a woman you actually like. Or lets say the woman you do end up falling for is a virgin herself...how would she feel about you not being one like her? She may not make a big deal out of it but it would most likely hurt her at least a bit. She may be one of those women who keep thinking..."Am I better?" Also by having "casual sex" with someone to loss your virginity just sounds irresponsible and compulsive. Makes you seem like sex is really nothing to you but sex. For a woman this will be a turn off! Especially since we like to think of sex as an extension of how we feel. We are communicators remember? Everything we do is through communication. Scientifically that's what we are good at, that's what our brains are wired to do from birth. So if your future partner is very friendly and an open communicator she most likely sees sex as an extension of her feelings of love. Telling her your first time (which will come up eventually by the way) would be sending her red flags that just aren't there.

Now, I mention before there is no such thing as casual sex...I'll tell you why. All love is is the endorphins in the brain sending signals of endearment whenever your with a special someone. When men have sex they produce a lot of adrenalin and the brain releases a lot of testosterone and...try to guess...yeah, endorphins. And like shock therapy doing it so many times will give you the appearance of being in love with someone you don't even like. Thus why so many people end up in obviously bad relationships they swear up and down they love them when there simply isn't a reason to love that person. Sex is addictive, just like gambling, shopping, adrenaline junkies and so on...you need to be careful, especially as a virgin, who you pick to do this with and how many times you do.

Now if you know all the risks and consequences to losing your virginity and still want to do it, go for it...just pick a girl that's on birth control because the last thing you need is to feel trapped by her with a child she claims is yours. And use a condom regardless of the pill or not...even if she's been recently tested or claims to be a virgin. A lot of STD's are not traceable till years later and some are simply invisible. Also, virgins still can have herpes. I knew a little girl who had it because her mother had an outbreak during birth to her. Anyway, have fun! Good luck!

This is very helpful and covers the pros and cons of losing your virginity. If there is some rating system on this site give this one a 10/10. Thank you.

I have however thought about this alot. Am i impatient? Moderately, as I said it has never really been an issue, ive been quite good on the flirty side of girls as a teen so Im not starved of fun with women.

But ive always believed in "the one" and she has never really come around. I know she will, I have confidence in that, but as sick and selfish as this sounds. I feel as though I should not save it. Im going on 21 and not been involved in any youthful experience that will help me grow as a person.

I do see people for external matters, but sometimes I feel something like this can help me in a turning point of growing up and experiencing like 80%+ have done already whether that is sexually or in other forms.

Do you see my reasoning?

[listen not hear]

This is very helpful and covers the pros and cons of losing your virginity. If there is some rating system on this site give this one a 10/10. Thank you.

I have however thought about this alot. Am i impatient? Moderately, as I said it has never really been an issue, ive been quite good on the flirty side of girls as a teen so Im not starved of fun with women.

But ive always believed in "the one" and she has never really come around. I know she will, I have confidence in that, but as sick and selfish as this sounds. I feel as though I should not save it. Im going on 21 and not been involved in any youthful experience that will help me grow as a person.

I do see people for external matters, but sometimes I feel something like this can help me in a turning point of growing up and experiencing like 80%+ have done already whether that is sexually or in other forms.

Do you see my reasoning?

lol Hey, as long as your not using the old 'Well, hell, everyone else is doing it' excuse then it's cool. I mean, it's YOUR gift to give. Only you know what's best for you. Don't let anyone steer you away in something you believe in--including myself. And if you truly believe your ready to do this and accept and is prepared to face whatever challenges that come with it, then hey, no judgment here. Best of luck!

[cheeky&sexy]

Go to a club where you will find people who want casual fun like u do. I think its completely normal to want to experiment and just have fun before tying yourself down to a long term relationship. Better to be commitment free when you're young.. rather than get into a long term relationship young and feel like u missed out on the single life. Cos then when you'd break up and are finally ready for single life.. all your friends will be over that lifestyle and into the long term relationships. Best to get it out of your system now. I know a lot of people feel very strongly about being in love, in a relationship for your first time. But that is not the best way for everybody.. theres downsides to both of them.

[The Greatest]

Thanks cheeky and sexy. Everyone seems to be from Aus here :p

Really appreciate the help

[cheeky&sexy]

Yeah well i feel like i can relate to you as i was your age when i finally lost it. Sometimes u can only wait around so long for 'the one'. I mean people who say to wait til you're in love in a relationship are probably either young virgins or people who were in love in a relationship at a young age. Damn those lucky people though haha :p and yeah a lot of people seem to be from australia. makes me nervous that i might know somebody in real life though thats on here lol.

[CAM]

Suggestion: Get a Southwest Airlines flight to Nevada (Reno) and rent a car. Then drive East on the Interstate to the Wild Horse (a brothel) or South to Moonlite Bunnyranch. Get laid. Drive back and fly home. Seriously. The State of Nevada regulates all of this and the girls are given physicals once a week for their work permit. It is the safest way to do it. Also, since it is really just a business transaction, you won't have the emotional issues to deal with.

I think that this makes sense for someone in your position.

ALSO--never tell anyone that you did this. Women won't be particularly impressed with this. But, it really is the more honest way and it probably costs a bit more than what you'll get at a bar...namely, skank who'd do it for a beer. The prostitutes feel like they are being low-balled by the college sluts who give it away for free! LOL Its all economics 101.

[MAXRacer]

Good choice on not trying hookers. They are usually fugly and dirty with STDs. Think about it, genuinely hot girls would not need to be hookers, they marry rich men.

[smackie9]

You are 20 and you still have your V card? What is wrong with you kids these days?!!.....dude you are only twenty, wait til you are 28 before you try to locate a wife. Go clubbing with a buddy as your wing man. Dancing will get you laid...girls love a guy that grinds. Don't for get to fill your pocket with some condoms....have a blast.