waiting for a specific person - would you?

[jfett85]

I recently met a girl who is extremely special to me. But, because of conflicts with parents and schooling and so on, we can't actually date right now (we'd only see each other about once a month or two at most). So, I've decided to take some time off from the dating pool, concentrate on my studies and getting my career off the ground, while keeping in touch with this girl as much as possible.

My question to all of you is this - how certain would you have to be of a person's interest in you to completely put dating on hold and bide your time until you could be with that person? I've already made my choice but I'm interested in what other people would do in my shoes. I'm a psych student so maybe I can even put this little test to some use. lol.

~JFett

[jane]

ok.. so I am sort of in your situation..
I am totally interested in someone who is not even living in my state right now.. I met him online and I want to actually meet up with him, but due to finacial reasons.. and some personal ones.. I cant do it yet. However, I am not even slightly interested in anyone else and completely have taken myself out of the dating pool.

Will it work? I have no idea but I feel a sense of completeness just knowing that i am doing the right thing right now. I really like this guy and I am willing to do anything to try and make a relationship work with him. So.. I guess I am just gunna bide my time.

[Illusional]

haha waiting.. i wouldn't wait for a girl for more than a week. all the girls that i have waited for turned out to be nothing. it's a waste of time. raverboy

[english lad]

I've waited before. And it didn't come off, and before I knew it I was completely out of touch with the dating world.

So on past experiences, I wouldn't wait for any1 unless I was almost certain something would happen.

[Reign]

How can you go above and beyond verbal assurance. Really you have to feel you can trust the person and know they trust you.

[zas]

i'm waiting for someone at the moment, it can be quite frustrating at times. but basically i say give it a go when you're both ready, and if it doesnt work, it doesnt work. but if it does then hoorah! and you can always go back to the dating pool if it doesn't work.

[BillyGalbreath]

I had to choose hardly any. The decisions YOU make in life should not be based on someone else's proof or wanting to also. If YOU want to hold out for that one person then do it. Hold out, finish your studies, get your life in order. Get out of that dating pool, yes, and put your face in the books. Dont even think about her all too much or it will effect your studies. Just go on with your life as if nothing is there and that she is your friend. If you already kiss and hold hands, etc etc, then dont stop doing that when you two are around each other - but when she's not there, dont think about it.

I have never held out for any one particular person. I am holding out from everyone. Its the same thing, but not. I am holding out so that I can get my life in order to where I want it to be. Then thats when I will take a step back into the dating pool, or if there is someone that comes along before that time, then thats when I would open the door for her.

But meh - this is just me. I have NEVER met another guy like me. I am truely one of a kind.

[MVPlaya]

Your poll is really shitty:

How about: "**** waiting. like there's no other women..."

I have NEVER met another guy like me. I am truely one of a kind.

[BillyGalbreath]

lol - just like everyone else. thats actually kinda funny.

[GBRaul]

Hey Billy, i chose the same option as you. Hell I would wait for someone if I really think she's special. Like I did with my first and only so far. Waited for 3 years, but it came to nothing. But... she's worth the waiting.

But i guess sometimes people wait because they know that the people they are waiting for are either good enough or too good for them, like in my case.

[swimmingNreverie]

I think you need a GUARANTEE, but I know that I would wait with verbal assurance.

The physical clues don't necessarily mean anything in the end. Last summer I was dating this guy, but it wasn't the right time to actually put a label on it, or whatever, but we went through all the motions. Looked and acted like we were dating, and I let myself wait for him because I thought those physical clues meant something.

Yeah well they didn't.

And my last relationship has let me know that words don't always mean anything either.

Basically, it comes down to truly trusting the person. But when you keep getting screwed by the people you trust... well I dunno. I guess waiting seems futile for me.

It also depends on the circumstances I guess. I dunno. My faith in people and dedication is dwindling

[dragoon]

I've managed to learn over the years that "just met" and "extermely special" just doesn't work. No girl is extremely special until you've really gotten to know them and can feel it. Otherwise, putting your life on hold/drastically altering your life for a girl you don't really know is never a good idea.

[Curlz]

Agree with dragoon (and MVPlaya even if it was harshly done), if you like her so much keep her in mind, but shit man, look at all the other roses too!

[PandaCivic]

i'll wait forever for 'her'. i just don't know if AFTER i've waited will it be worth everything i've ever dreamed of or if i should just wait and never expect her to come to me. she says she loves me, but i don't know if i love her with the same intensity. i DO love her but you can only love someone so much.

[jfett85]

Thanks for the input everyone. If you haven't voted in the poll feel free to but my mind's made up. Just want to ask a little follow up question.

I know now that she definitely likes me, so I am set in my decision to wait until her and I can be together. My question is - how do I tell her that without sounding like I'm obsessed and scaring her away? With the way her parents are I know she wouldn't be allowed to date anyone else even if she wanted to (not that I'm worried she would). But I want to tell her how I feel and ask her if she's willing to do the same for me. I suppose I should just go right out and say it, huh? I just really want to make sure that I don't lose her before I've even had a chance.

~JFett