Slept with another man while having mental issue

[because_I_can]

So, my girlfriend of 4 years had sex with a guy that was married, with a kid, while she was experiencing a mental issue. She is diagnosed bi-polar, which translates into irrational/depressive behavior. She had been awake for 3 days straight when this happened. The guy told his wife. His wife confronted my GF and I about it. My gf denied it repeatedly, lying both to her and I over and over. Initially, I thought it was a lie, fabricated by the guy. Turns out he was telling the truth and my gf was lying.

She tells me today when I confronted her about this that she also made out with another guy.

Do I blame it on the bi-polar and forgive if she agrees to taking medication (which she currently isn't). Or is she a deceitful, selfish little hoe?

[bluesummer]

I don't know, I didn't realize one of the symptoms of being bi-polar was infidelity. But seriously, we don't really know her. Perhaps being bi-polar than is affecting her rationality when she goes through of one of her 'bad moments'?. I've known a few people with this affliction who would get extremely depressed to the point where they'd start doing things that could potentially ruin their lives.....then when they snap out of their funk, they're mortified at what they'd gotten themselves into.

Do you know a lot about the affliction itself? Did your gf seem very remorseful about what she did, or just that she didn't want you to find out?

Regardless, if this is something she's only done once, it is up to you if you feel you can forgive her and trust her again. You might want to tell her to go on her meds if she wants a chance with you. Mental illness or not - you don't deserve to be subjected to this kind of behaviour. It's not healthy for YOU.

[Ellynn]

I understand she has a mental illness, but that still does NOT excuse cheating and lying etc. What kind of person deserves to take all of that? Certainly not you!

I mean if you want to try working out things, its your choice. But don't be surprised when it happens again and she blames it on her "illness." Is that something you can deal with?


Just wanted to add, If a drunk person cheats or if a drug addict cheats, is that acceptible? I mean, because of their "illness" of being addicted to something, do you think it would be ok to cheat etc? I mean would you tolerate it if they decided to blow off their AA meeting and get drunk or high and have sex with random people and then blame it on their substace abuse illness?

Same with a pedafile, is it ok for him to have sex with young kids simply because he is ill and needs help but does not truly follow thru and try to stop it when he knows its wrong?

[NeoSeminole]

oh man, I'm probably going to get flamed for this. Let her go man!!! There are too many normal girls out there to be worried about a girl with a psychological disorder. It's unfortunate for her, but it's her problem to deal with. Don't let it become your problem too.

[blauw]

If this would happen to me ...
I'd kick her out!
I wouldn't be able to trust her anymore.

[vashti]

oh man, I'm probably going to get flamed for this. Let her go man!!! There are too many normal girls out there to be worried about a girl with a psychological disorder. It's unfortunate for her, but it's her problem to deal with. Don't let it become your problem too.

I am inclined to agree with you. After all, if she has been diagnosed already, then she KNOWS she needs her meds, and shouldn't be using her mental disorder as an excuse for behavng badly when she chooses to skip them.

[bluesummer]

I was thinking the same thing as you, Neo and Vash, but I thought maybe I would sound 'insensitive' to people with mental illness. Apparently not.

[vashti]

I figured that was the case; I am just more blunt.

[JohnsonROd]

Bi Polar disorder just ended a good friend's marriage. Let her go man, it WILL only get worse.

[Illusional]

haha i'm gonna laugh my ass off at you because i also can. let me tell you now.. you're ahead of the game if you drop this girl before MORE problems start. that's all. i'll take 50 dollars for that 5 minutes session with dr illusional.

raverboy

[Gigabitch]

Jeesh! What's next? She stabs you with a steak knife in your sleep? She murders your dog?

She's destructive and she's a liar. End of story.

[Khazard]

She's CRAZY let her go you cant trust her and ill bet she isnt the same person you fell in love with. Is she even sorry for what she has done? does she even care if she has hurt you?

[shai`anne]

From working with these kinds of people before when their manic (she was since you said she hasn't slept for 3 days) they do things without thinking of the outcome it may have. Even if she starts to take her meds she might still have the same problem every now and then. Unless your a babysitter and can babysit her every day she WILL do it again. I don't think anyone can put up with that kind of behavior even if it is because of a disorder. Good Luck!

[King Zarathu]

She lied to you; isn't that ENOUGH of a reason to break the trust level?

No trust, no relationship. Let her go.