Love Advice Needed! BAD!!!

[lost_inlove]

Well, I am new to this site but I am in need of some major relationship advice! I will try to make this short and to the point. Basically I got engaged June 2010 to my boyfriend of 4 years. Everything was going great until Jan 2011 and he broke up with me because he said he fell in love with someone else...however after one day he realized he was wrong and wanted me back. So we got back together and things seemed great until recently. It's like I am trying really hard and it's just not good enough. I love him and there is no doubt in my mind about that. However, I am wondering if he is just stressed. We are in the process of opening our second business together. It will be our second store so I will be running one while he runs the other store so we won't be spending to much time together anymore. However, how to I know if he is still in love. He told me he was and even cried in which he never does...it was actually the second time I scene him cry. I am just concerned about being hurt again because I was so sick for the day we were apart. I was throwing up and crying all day and night. So please help me...do I keep riding this out and see what happens? Do I confront him? Any advice would be great!

Thanks,
Andrea

[ktm390]

Well, I am new to this site but I am in need of some major relationship advice! I will try to make this short and to the point. Basically I got engaged June 2010 to my boyfriend of 4 years. Everything was going great until Jan 2011 and he broke up with me because he said he fell in love with someone else...however after one day he realized he was wrong and wanted me back. So we got back together and things seemed great until recently. It's like I am trying really hard and it's just not good enough. I love him and there is no doubt in my mind about that. However, I am wondering if he is just stressed. We are in the process of opening our second business together. It will be our second store so I will be running one while he runs the other store so we won't be spending to much time together anymore. However, how to I know if he is still in love. He told me he was and even cried in which he never does...it was actually the second time I scene him cry. I am just concerned about being hurt again because I was so sick for the day we were apart. I was throwing up and crying all day and night. So please help me...do I keep riding this out and see what happens? Do I confront him? Any advice would be great!

Thanks,
Andrea

well if he said he fell in love with someone else than that means he probably cheated on you. i dont know about you but if someone cheats on me, thats it....OVER! If you can live with that then go ahead and stay with him and get your heart broken again later down the road. not saying that will happen but most likely it will

[Tom Johnston]

Dear Andrea,
If he has already left you once, it indicates that there were already issues that were unaddressed prior to that. I'm a guy myself, and
he fact is – men will abandon a relationship when it’s no longer giving them what they need. Men like to be admired for who they are.
They want respect and to see interest coming in from the opposite sex.

When a relationship loses its fire, men may seek out another lover that will give them the attention they crave, which again is, to be
respected and admired for who they are. When you first fall in love, this is easy - it happens by default - you don't have to do anything
to make that happen. Then as time goes by - when you're no longer trying to land him, etc, your actions may not tell him that he's as
wanted by you as what once used to be the case.

I'm not saying that this 100% fits your situation, but it is a VERY common underlying reason in these situations. If this rings a bell for you,
take some inventory of your relationship and ask yourself if things have gotten stale.

Now, if you were a man, in exactly the same situation, I would give you very similar advice - I would tell you that most women need to feel that
what they do and who they are is appreciated. And so on. It's all about YOU taking 100% responsibility for the situation. That way, you can
actually do something about it. Playing victim never works.

Best of luck to you, I hope you two work things out.

[bluesummer]

I would want some clarification on "I fell in love with someone else", especially when he got back with you only a day later (and you let him!). Saying you LOVE someone is a pretty strong sentiment, and he was willing to break off his engagement for it. So who is this other person? What happened to her? Did she just disappear into thin air?

You are right to be concerned. Maybe like the above poster said, there were things missing in the relationship, but that is still IN NO WAY justification for him dumping you while telling you he's in love with someone else, and then going "oops, I was wrong" a day later. That's just cruel.

You need to take a real deep look at your relationship before you actually marry this guy.

[Stephanie Fox]

Hi Andrea.
I am very sorry that you are in such situation.

I can see you have great plans for the future if you already have a business and you both are planning to open another one.

The things is, love is a serious word. If he says he loves you, how can you accept it if he said he fell in love with someone else a month ago?
I wouldn't trust him, because he probably cheated on you as well, he might have thought oh that girls is not as good as Andrea in bed. And changed his mind quickly. OR the girl refused to be with him.
And he came running back to you.

Don't be fooled with tears. Everyone can cry if they are desperate. Give a bit more self-respect to yourself.
Do you trust him after what he had done to you?

What you need to do is to talk and discuss this. It wasn't just a little break between the two of you. He ended it with saying i fell in love with someone else....
It's very serious. Talk and have a little break between the two of you, so you get better and you can think with a clear head.
I mean if you need some help to figure out what's next then take a look at this. how-to-win-a-girls-heart.net
Good Luck and don't be upset.
xxSteph