Hi Guys, Need some advice, and I bet this is going to be an essay, so hold tight.

Right..... Myself and my girlfriend (ex) have been going out for 7 years just about, been dating ever since college, and through my university degree. She lived at mine for pretty much 6 years, along with my brother and my parents when they came back from abroad now and again (usually over summer or xmas). Anyway, we were both happy and loved each other for the whole time, we have a joint bank account - we get our pay in seperate accounts and just transfer a bit of money for food and what not, untill I finished my university degree a 4 months ago, i felt like I missed the university life and started going to the pub drinking and things. She however had a full time job, so never wanted to go out on a night, and I felt like i needed to get away from things so we could both have our own space from time to time.

Anyway, I was on a part time job after finishing uni, and had loads of time during the day to sleep and on a night I wouldn't be tired and felt like going out.... So I did (worst mistake of my life looking back at it) this carried on over around 2 weeks, where i soon get a txt message from her saying "James I think we need to talk - what's going on".... So i fly home, she's on the sofa in tears, I sit down next to her, and she asks what's going on, i start to say "i dunno" a few times, then she asks if i love her, which stupidly I said "i dunno" - then she said that she thinks we might be better if we spent some time apart, so she packed some stuff and left - I was shocked, i didn't know what to do, i just stood there, couldn't say anything as she walked past me to her car and drove off - I remember standing there just watching her drive away not doing anything.

So I cant really remember the next few days, i don't know if it was shock, or that i started drinking loads or what, but she still talked to me for a little asking what's going on, and i think i ignored her for a little while.... She then started going out with her cousin, partying drinking and things.... Next thing i know, she's back, we are sleeping with each other again, and she gets a txt from her aunty saying you shouldn't go back to me..... So she stays over, but on that night, she told me she had slept with someone else, cos I didnt give her any attention and she did - she stated she was drunk and didnt know what she was doing - and that he kinda took advantage of her (this kinda changed storys later) - so that night, that was playing through my mind, i still didnt know what i wanted, I drank loads at the pub, and this girl that likes me started kissing me, next thing i know im at her house, and then its all a blur till i wake up in the morning thinking wtf have i done, and realised at that moment how much I actually loved the girlfriend (ex).

Next thing i know, i get home and I get a phone call from the girlfrield (ex) saying she had just seen a picture someone took of us down the pub of me and her getting off with each other.... She came out with "its her or me" - and i told her its her (girlfriend) i wanted to be with and i would settle this, and told the other girl that i wanted to be with the girlfriend (ex).

So I'm at work the night after this happend, and I get a txt from the girlfriend (ex) saying she doesnt want me back, its over and to leave her alone - So i try calling her, she hangs up on me, i try txtn her and she doesnt reply apart from saying "James cant you understand its over" - a week goes by, im begging (i know i shouldnt) for her to come back, my mate tells me to leave her alone for a week or so (he was involved in the whole situation - and knew both sides of the story). I asked her to meet me for a coffee during her lunch break, which she agreed to doing, things went well, I told her how i felt about her, that I made a mistake doing all this, and that i didnt know what I had till it had gone. She started talking to me again, and then next thing i know we are going back out again on dates, and she finally moves back in again.

Well that sounds like a happy ending, things were going well, I was happy and she was happy (for a bit anyway), untill 3 weeks ago, things took a turn for the worse.... I still dont fully understand whats going on, but anyway here goes.

So start thinking about what I want in the future, I knew i wanted the girlfriend (ex) for the rest of my life, wanted a house and kids with her, and was planning on a way to ask her to marry me, and when was the best time to ask her dad if i could have his daughters hand in marrage. I finally got a full time job too, which I started September 7th. I had lots on my mind, and yes looking back at it i should have given her more attention, and I kept getting txt messages from the other lass (from before) - tried to stay friends with her, but i wish i hadnt, as things probably would have been different.

Anyway, the girlfriend (ex) started going out all the time (like i did) going to her cousins all the time, now I knew there would be a high possibility this other guy would be there, but I trusted her, and she would usually come home on a night, but stayed there sometimes, but i didnt worry or anything. Then on Thursday 15th September, she went out with what i thought was just her cousin and her other friend, they went to some fair that was on down the road, but I was a little suspision when she started acting strange with me when she got back, I asked her if the other guy was there, she said no, but the way she said no i could tell she was lieing, I said to her "he was there wasnt he" she said "yes" quietly, and I asked her what he had said to her, and apparently not a lot was said apart from "as long as your happy". So we talk and cuddle on the night, go to sleep, wake up the friday and everythings fine... We both go to work, I give her a kiss bye, both get back from work and cook dinner and what not, but she doesnt really say anything to me, and i feel weird with her about lieing to me the night before... Felt like there was more going on then she said.... So saturday she goes out to her cousins again, i dont hear anything from her all day, then later that night, i get the txt message saying "we need to talk" - i just sit there and look at my phone and think oh ****, I didnt know what to say back to that, just typed ok.... within 10 min she was back, and i drove us to the local park, where we sat on the bench, and she started saying thing like "i think we need our own space apart, I dont think things are working" and all this... Im shocked again, I love her to bits and wanted to do anything for her (she has money issues at the min and i did keep going on at her about this trying to get her to pay them off so we could get our own place). So she's in tears, im trying not to cry, but end up crying, she keeps saying the same things over and over again, but I some how manage to save it for the night, we both got back in the car, grabbed some food and went to our mates house and watched XFactor.

Both went to bed that night, she kept saying "i dunno" we cuddled again, felt nice and warm, knew i wanted to be with her, and we both fell asleep. Sunday, we laid in bed on the morning, watched a bit of TV everything was grand till she started crying saying she doesnt feel anything any more, i start to get annoyed with her, but then thought back to what i felt like a couple of months before hand. We talked and she calmed down.

Monday morning, everything was fine, went to work, kissed her told her i loved her and went to work, next thing i know i get a txt from her when I finished work saying "James its over - im leaving you" - so i rush home, to find her crying on the bed, i tried tlaking to her, she kept mumbling saying "i dont know" "i dont feel anything", i try to talk to her to calm her down, but it wasnt working, she was winding me up, i asked her to look at me and tell me she didnt love me - She looked at the floor and said "i dont love you", i stormed out the house at this point, went for a walk, around the block, and i remember getting to the end of the street and i see her finished packing her car (again) get in the car, she pulls up next to me and i say "you dont care about me do you, I hope you and him have a good life together" she burst into tears and drove off.... I find myself standing in the same spot as i had done a few months before, shocked watching her drive away again.

So i try talking to her on the phone, she didnt reply at all apart from the usual "leave me alone", "i want to be single for a while"

Anyway, rewind to last week, her cousin started posting pictures up on facebook of the girlfriend (ex) and the other guy (her cousin is childish and cannot hold a relationship for more then a few months) - I knew she was doing it for me to bite. Next thing i know the girlfriend (ex) relationship status changes to "in a relationship" - everything hit me at this point, i wanted to go mental at her, but I couldnt cos I love her and it would ruin my chances of her coming back to me.... Im reading things on the next and people telling me different things (rebound relationship? / Shes moved on?)

So at this point today im sending her messages, with little to no response, apart from "im not coming back, can you respect my decision" but she has pulled this one before, saying the same thing, and she did come back.

Now I dont know what to do, people are telling me to leave her for a week or two, dont message her, let her miss me, others are saying that she's in a rebound relationship that will never work, and shes using it to find what she loves about me, and others are saying she's moved on so you should move on.

Then on the other hand, i thinks she's playing mind games with me. Last saturday i got a few abusive messages from her cousin/this new guy through her facebook, which i tried to be a man about and told them to grow up, and she must have got her phone back as these stopped.

So what do i do? Leave her to get on with it, realise what she misses about me and come back? - I told her i love her that much i can forgive her for what she's doing, as I went through the same thing.