Please help me!!!!! I need advice w Aries Man

[dtechniques]

Hi,

I hope someone can help me...

When we had our first date we passionately kissed each other, and i've never felt anything like it before. As if we could feel each other's spirit.

The problem I have, is he has told me twice that he loves me when he was drinking and he doesn't remember... The first time he had tears in his eyes and was so sincere, and was also shy that the manager and bartender were watching us. I could feel that it was coming from a real place when i looked in his eyes. And i said, "it's okay, they are happy to see something beautiful." And then we kissed. We were in a jazz bar watching a live band. He took me there as a surprise because i'm a singer and love music. This was two weeks after our first date; our third date...

The next day he said he told his mom about me. and the first thing she said was, "attila, why can't you settle down with someone who has finished university and has her career already. I want to see my grandkids." He told me that he doesnt want that pressure his mom was giving him because he isnt financillay where he wants to be and hes not ready. But then he added because I'm 26 and hes 37, he'll be 40 when i start my career and he askes what if i leave him and hes old... and i said nooo i wouldnt do that babe. then he said how do u know. and i said because i want to be with you. then he aid reallly then i said yeah ten he said ok...

A few days later i see him and asks if he remembers saying something special to me at the bar. And he says no, what'd i say, wait, nvm i dont want to know. And i said really and hes like yeah dont tell me.
Now he's been hot and cold for a month and half. He would says things like, babe, bring some clothes over so you can be comfortable and then gets upset when i did, so i took them out. And one morning after i stayed over he said, "babe i should just give u a key... wait, what did i just say, haha" and walks away into the kitchen. Sometimes he's silly but also outspoken. So i just took it as being afraid of commitment.

Now I'm worried about how he feels about me, especially because he doesnt remember saying i love you to me in the bar...

But i start to feel better again because for thanksgiving weekend he was at his sister's house for family dinner. And he had been drinking red wine and called me, we talked and before hanging up he said bye love, i love you love. and i said awww bye baby.
The next day i asked him if he remembers saying anything special to me, and he said no what do you mean. And i said it's something you said before but you didnt want to know. are you ready to know now? And he said sure. Then i said okay i'll tell u when we see each other. And he said ok.

Four days later, before we get to see each other so i could talk to him about the times he said i love you, he says baby i cant handle a relationship right now. I need to be selfish and focus on my financial goals. And adds that we are in different phases in our lives and it's his fault because he should've known better because our age gap is too much.

Now we've been on a break for almost 3 weeks and still havent seen each other. 2 weeks ago I asked what are we doing babe? and then he said being confused. and i said but im not confused babe i wanna be with u. and then he says the different phases talk again. Even though, we still call each other baby, babe, and we'll say goodnight to each other in bed before falling asleep. He also jokes about being celibate and never having sex again.

Last night, I asked him if hes had sex with anyone else since me and he says no. then i ask if he misses me and making love because i do and he says yes... But tonight he said babe, you know you can be with other guys right. and i said no i dont want to. And it hurt me that he could say that, even when he knows i dont want to be with anyone else but him. This saturday we are attending the same halloween party and we might go back to his place after. That was the plan last night and he was in favour for it to happen, but tonight when i referred to it. Thats when he mentioned that i could be wth other guys and then said its not set in stone and he doesnt want to be kidnapped...

the hot and cold is driving me insane, i take melatonin to sleep

please, what do i do???

Sincerely,
Danielle

[HeartIsAching]

An Airedale? That's sick.

[dtechniques]

What?...what is "An Airedale? That's sick." ???

[Boisdevie]

If he's blowing hot and cold it's either because:
1. He's an idiot or
2. He's not really interested in you.

In either case I"d tell him to get stuffed.

[bulrush]

This guy sounds confused. I'm not sure if you two can work this out. He needs to know what he wants, and he just sounds confused for some reason.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

The guy sounds like he's confused about what he wants out of this 'relationship', and even worse, out of life in general. I'm not sure of his background, but generally that's a really bad sign at 37. What you've told us about him makes him sound like a teenager.

Did he tell you he loves you on the first date? If so, RUN.

I don't know why you think you have such a strong connection, but it doesn't really sound like this would work out long term. He's 10 years older with no direction. Surely you could find someone with a bit more to bring to the table? It's also possible that he could just be he's lost interest and is just bullshitting about the rest. Who knows. Move on.

[Ladybuggg]

What about not jumping into the sexual part while you are getting to know someone!?like heavenly kissing the first date?!
I guess he had sex soon after that 2 with you.

Guys lose interest in easy girls!Maybe he felt like that .Like oh so i saw everything of this girl she have no reserves.
And you write like a retard i can barely follow it.

Anyway you need to find out what love is before you believe people can love you in months and couple of years.
And you cant promise him to be forever with him cause you dont know how things will go and you are getting to know him.
And look like you guys love to sit on the bar and get drunk!


Anyway he is telling you its over in a nice way! He is not interested anymore in you!
So leave or keep getting hurt!

[smackie9]

You are just infactuated with him, because when he pushes you away dopamine surges through your brain making him even more desirable. All you are doing is chasing a good feeling that has no worth to you or your future. He is too old, he is not looking for what you are looking for. It's just games, and it's messin with your head.....get the frick away from him you foolish girl.

[Boisdevie]

And you write like a retard i can barely follow it.

Oh the delicious irony. I bet you don't know what the word means you ignorant dipshit.