Hi,

I hope someone can help me...

When we had our first date we passionately kissed each other, and i've never felt anything like it before. As if we could feel each other's spirit.

The problem I have, is he has told me twice that he loves me when he was drinking and he doesn't remember... The first time he had tears in his eyes and was so sincere, and was also shy that the manager and bartender were watching us. I could feel that it was coming from a real place when i looked in his eyes. And i said, "it's okay, they are happy to see something beautiful." And then we kissed. We were in a jazz bar watching a live band. He took me there as a surprise because i'm a singer and love music. This was two weeks after our first date; our third date...

The next day he said he told his mom about me. and the first thing she said was, "attila, why can't you settle down with someone who has finished university and has her career already. I want to see my grandkids." He told me that he doesnt want that pressure his mom was giving him because he isnt financillay where he wants to be and hes not ready. But then he added because I'm 26 and hes 37, he'll be 40 when i start my career and he askes what if i leave him and hes old... and i said nooo i wouldnt do that babe. then he said how do u know. and i said because i want to be with you. then he aid reallly then i said yeah ten he said ok...

A few days later i see him and asks if he remembers saying something special to me at the bar. And he says no, what'd i say, wait, nvm i dont want to know. And i said really and hes like yeah dont tell me.
Now he's been hot and cold for a month and half. He would says things like, babe, bring some clothes over so you can be comfortable and then gets upset when i did, so i took them out. And one morning after i stayed over he said, "babe i should just give u a key... wait, what did i just say, haha" and walks away into the kitchen. Sometimes he's silly but also outspoken. So i just took it as being afraid of commitment.

Now I'm worried about how he feels about me, especially because he doesnt remember saying i love you to me in the bar...

But i start to feel better again because for thanksgiving weekend he was at his sister's house for family dinner. And he had been drinking red wine and called me, we talked and before hanging up he said bye love, i love you love. and i said awww bye baby.
The next day i asked him if he remembers saying anything special to me, and he said no what do you mean. And i said it's something you said before but you didnt want to know. are you ready to know now? And he said sure. Then i said okay i'll tell u when we see each other. And he said ok.

Four days later, before we get to see each other so i could talk to him about the times he said i love you, he says baby i cant handle a relationship right now. I need to be selfish and focus on my financial goals. And adds that we are in different phases in our lives and it's his fault because he should've known better because our age gap is too much.

Now we've been on a break for almost 3 weeks and still havent seen each other. 2 weeks ago I asked what are we doing babe? and then he said being confused. and i said but im not confused babe i wanna be with u. and then he says the different phases talk again. Even though, we still call each other baby, babe, and we'll say goodnight to each other in bed before falling asleep. He also jokes about being celibate and never having sex again.

Last night, I asked him if hes had sex with anyone else since me and he says no. then i ask if he misses me and making love because i do and he says yes... But tonight he said babe, you know you can be with other guys right. and i said no i dont want to. And it hurt me that he could say that, even when he knows i dont want to be with anyone else but him. This saturday we are attending the same halloween party and we might go back to his place after. That was the plan last night and he was in favour for it to happen, but tonight when i referred to it. Thats when he mentioned that i could be wth other guys and then said its not set in stone and he doesnt want to be kidnapped...

the hot and cold is driving me insane, i take melatonin to sleep

please, what do i do???

Sincerely,
Danielle