Age Difference - Details, Rationales, Frustrations, Questions
I was reading through the previous thread about the age difference issue and came to ask about the age difference in terms of the girl being older. I'm totally enamored with this one girl but my parents are doing everything in their power to convince me out of the relationship. Of the issues is the age thing. She is 2 years older than I am, which my parents claim is backwards. I should be 2 years older, at a minimum.
They contend that being youths, we do not see our difference in age but by the time we are 35/40, a single age difference where she is older will make her look so old compared to me that it will shame me to unhappiness forever. Looking at your parents, if your mom is older than your dad, how much older? And how much older does she look compared to your dad if you were to guess age regardless of the actual number? I've worked so long and hard to get this relationship going and I love this girl so much. I can't imagine being so shallow....
In addition, I talked to some other old folk at my workplace and they have living examples of their own employees who married women older than them. Though I wonder how big the age difference was. In anycase, for them, what they had going on was an inferiority complex where after years, the woman would look physically older than the guy to the point where it became an issue for the guy because he felt "weaker" because he no longer had the "mature look." This is under the assumption of course that the woman began taking advantage of her older look to control the guy and pull a fast one over him, which is what happened. In another case, the guy simply wasn't mature enough anyway even though he looked OK with his wife. He was just a player.
But on the final part of the conversation, the lady I talked to said that in .1% of cases where the girl is older, things work out assuming these two conditions are met: 1. the girl looks fine as hell regardless of age, 2. both people have hearts made of gold. Otherwise, 99.9% of relationships where the girl is older leads to failure. Anyway, it's really tough finding a balanced opinion because asking people my age, they say the age thing don't matter. And then talking with people my parents' age, they say it does matter. Both sides are very skewed and I have yet to find a balanced opinion or rationale. I'd love it to just say "age don't matter and Imma dive in" but to pacify my own mind in regards to the things my dad has been saying, I need some kind of justification for it. Because in all honesty, I've been feeling like crap attempting a breakup over only the issue of age. If anything, a breakup must be because the issue must be material in nature. Age does not seem to be a material issue.
Anyhow, I agree that giving birth will add like 5 years or more to the look of a lady, but seriously, can 1 or 2 year difference where she is older become THAT noticable by the time you are 30 or 40? Is that a qualified generalization or can I safely say that it is only a narrow viewpoint that has varying sides?
And I would really love it if you guys could bounce this question to your folks too if they are in the age range. I would love to get some varying opinions on this matter.
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