So, as some of you know, i was in a relationship that started out perfect and turned into a nightmare of bullying and physical fighting. I left him last year and felt okay about it, never really actually let him in go emotionally and we ended up back together late last year.
In the time of then and now, we had so many incidents of this abuse that i knew i couldnt live like this forever.
For those who dont know, he started to become abusive, would often push me or pull my hair if he got angry. Got enraged by me talking to the opposite sex, and attacked me several times. The last time left a horrible black eye. There was no hiding anymore and everyone knew about it. I got threatened by his family that i was a liar and to admit to everybody my boyfriend didnt do it.. The most harshest names you could think of being called over and over everyday. It was just a nightmare.
Well, last week i told him it was over. He was doing drugs every night, painkillers. His mood swings were unbearable, i had tried enough and i felt stupid for being with him. So i ended it and ignored any replies or calls from him. I fell asleep that night and woke up at 2am, to see my boyfriend sat on my bed in my house looking through my phone. That night i was texting a male friend, he was actually just a friend. And he claimed i was sleeping with him, called me every horrible name he could think of until i finally got him out.
The next day, he sent pages of horrible texts, saying i was disgusting,trashy, whore, slut, overweight, saying he was going to be nice women for a change and said my head was going to get 'stomped'. I was at work and i started bawling. It was too much to bear anymore, my boss brought me into her office and she called victim services.
They asked me to come to the police station and i gave a recorded statement about everything he had ever done to me, showed them pictures of my black eyes, bruises, text messages, every attack, every name, every threat every witness etc. They then told me they would get back to me and could call anytime if i felt unsafe and to write a detailed statement, they said they will charge him with harrassment, breaking and entering, agrevated assault and i would get my restraining order. IF everything went to plan.
Now that was 4 days ago. He has no idea i have been to the police, he has since text me told me how much he is hurting and misses me.. i havnt seen him but i feel guilty for going to the police.. I feel im going to completely mess up his life and i feel i could be to blame for some of the relationship problems. I fought him right back some of the times in the early days.. I have sent him crazy texts when he has seriously upset me..
I just am worrying about every possible thing right now and i feel like i almost want to take it back, yet i also feel proud i actually did something about it.
Has anybody got any advice for me? Anybody being through this? How will this all plan out after he has been arrested? I just have so many questions running through my mind i dont know what to think. These constant butterflies are making me feel sick.. And i just would love to talk to someone about it, as i cant really talk about it in my everyday life.
Thanks x