I'm really enjoying being with my boyfriend, we are so into each other and we really want to have sex. He tells me he wants to and i do too!
I came of a huge rebound i was on for about 6 months, i had 2 months to mull how bad my mental health was getting, and after it all, 9 months later, i'm fine now and ready for something serious!
My current boyfriend never had a huge rebound, he broke up with his ex of 4 years(his only sexual partner and girlfriend), about 8 months ago, which was around the same time as me. He never had sex with anyone after that, unlike me. I went off and had sex with several guys (i was going through a bad phase and regret it :/)
After my rebound i had the coil fitted, this was about 3 months ago, i was with a guy and had a sexual relationship with him at the time. And i was never pregnant, it works like a charm. I cant have hormone contraception because it gives me headaches.
So now i'm with my current boyfriend & when we are about to have sex, he's hard, then he puts a condom on, we have sex for about 5 minutes, but he's not hard after 5 minutes, or even less!
I have tried to tell him that he shouldn't wear one, and i've assured him i won't get pregnant. but he believes that 1% chance, is a chance and a half to be pregnant, and he stresses the fact that the coil is only 99% effective. It frustrates me because i can see that the condom is the problem, as it must cut off some circulation. And he thinks i'm a rather sexual person so maybe he doesn't ant to disappoint too, but he really won't! I've said that he won't!
He tells me even with his ex girlfriend he was with, he never had a problem staying hard, with a condom on, and that it must be some psychological issue in his head. Also this has happened 3 times, each time we have attempted sex and have a few minutes of a good time. I think he thinks about the times before, and how he didn't stay hard and when he remembers during sex, he goes soft. When he pulled out the last time, i took off the condom and he went hard, straight away! He was still so turned on! (what does this say?)
Also, just before the 3rd time we had sex, he was slightly putting his dick in and out a little bit, without a condom on but he went to get one, because in himself he feels he has to wear one, he says he doesn't want to, but he has to!
I really don't know what to suggest to him anymore and it's becoming a little frustrating, and we have both said this to each other because we just want to have sex, but he always wants to use a condom. I can just see the condom is the problem. But i can't think of any other contraception for me to be on. I will wait until he is ready or whatever it takes because i want this to work.
Perhaps i should also mention that his ex said she had to have an abortion. This was near to the end of their break up, but i don't think she was telling the truth. He says that doesn't play on his mind, and i think she said it just to piss him off. Who knows. But he hates his ex so much, he would want her dead really, that's what he says. and he is well and truly over her!
He tells em he is scared to love again too, and he's frightened.
So what should i do? Or what can we both do? I really just want us to be able to have enjoyable sex. this condom and doubt vibe i'm getting every time is getting me down! i want him to be having a boner for hours! He won't mind me telling him i have written on this forum here. So i'll tell him about stuff you all say
Thank you for your replies in advance...!
CupcakeGal xxx