I'm 23 years old and been with my bf for over 6 years. We split twice, once I dated someone else and the second time he did. Both times were only for about 3 months. We have been back together for about a year now and I don't want to have to go through all that again. I just don't know what to do though. I've been with him since I was 17 years old and never knew anything else really. It's like I'm afraid I can't be without him. I love him sooo much and I do everything in my power to show him I love him. I work full time and I am a full time student and I work my ass off at work and at home. I keep the house spotless and I cook for him. I basically run his business for him too. I take care of everything and he shows no interest in me. None. One thing that really bothers me is that he never compliments me. NEVER. I'm not bad looking at all. I hate that I get attention from other men but not my own boyfriend, when he's the only one that matters. I tell him all this too. He knows how I feel. When I tell him he tells me to go find someone else or leave if I'm not happy. I just get it. He's just an asshole all the time to me. My mom tells me that I have low self esteem which I'm starting to believe. I just feel like I'm not good enough for him but I kind of know that isn't true, it's just how I feel. I can't imagine having to start all over again. I can't imagine not waking up next to him every morning. He's all I really have. I just don't get how someone can be so cold. I even told him that I was going to start going to counseling, since I have no one to talk to, and he just blew up about it. He basically just made me feel like I was crazy for needing to go see one. I don't have any friends besides his sister and one of her friends I became close with. I met my bf right after I moved from CT to TN so basically his "friends" were mine. So I'm just up a creek without a paddle. I want so bad to have a family and have kids and I work so hard to make our house a home and all I want is appreciation and for him to touch me. Our sex life is good, but the only time he ever touches me is when we're in bed and he wants to have sex. That is all! Never does he cuddle me or just hold me or anything. I'd settle for anything. I just feel like I'm loosing it lol I want so bad for him to just show me half of what I show him. I really do believe that there are guys out there that would appreciate the things I do. There's just one problem, the thought of being with someone else or even finding someone else, I just don't want.
I have caught him talking to other girls on the internet before but nothing really came out of it. I have never ever cheated on him but I do have a lot of trouble trusting him. On his computer he has it were it deletes his history when he exits and the other day I turned it back on to where it shows me his history. There were a bunch of girls facebook pages he was looking at and looking at all their pictures. Should I be worried? It was a bunch of different local girls. I don't look up random local guys and look them up. I just don't know.
So, guys, what can I do? Should I be worried about him looking at other girls pics on facebook? Ladies, how often does your man compliment you? I really would like to know that one because I honestly can not remember the last time he just told me I looked nice. I just don't think that's right. I feel like if you love someone, you do everything you can do tell them that. Right?
Thanks everyone!