I feel like he isn't putting that much effort into our relationship?

[3r1k4]

Now, we all know that to make a relationship work, both sides have to equally contribute to the relationship.
Well...
My boyfriend of 6 months doesn't seem to be putting in as much effort into the relationship as i am.
First, I'll start off with this: my phone got stolen a few days ago, this is our only way of communication throughout the week since we can't see each other everyday, we are in sort of a semi-long distance relationship, he lives about 45 minutes away from me, we see each other usually once a week, but on a good week sometimes 2-3 times.
We call each other around 9:00 PM every night and talk for about an hour or so. Usually we would take turns on who would call who, but lately I've been noticing that he has been blowing me off. A week ago the moment he was about to call me he blew me off to talk to some other chick. The next day he lied to me about it, he told me he got tired and went to sleep, but then he admitted later that he did in fact blow me off to talk to that other chick. This is his common excuse (that he always falls asleep on me), it's an inconvenience to me because i expect a call everyday at 9:00 PM and i set aside time just to talk to him, but when he just keeps blowing me off like this, to talk to someone else or to accidentally fall asleep on me, it makes me angry because I sit there waiting for his call, but i never get anything. He can at least send me a quick text message that says he can't talk tonight or that he's too tired, or he can call me for 5 minutes and tell me he can't talk long. But instead he doesn't say anything, and i sit there staring at my phone waiting for his call that never comes.
So, back to the part where i mentioned my phone that got stolen: we usually text back and forth throughout the day to shoot messages such as "i love you" and "how are you doing" that sort of stuff, then at 9:00 we actually talk. But now since my cellphone got stolen, we can't text anymore throughout the day, and the only time i talk to him is at 9:00. He told me he would call me up after school for 10 minutes to see how I'm doing and again call at 9:00 to talk for an hour. But i get nothing! No call after school, no call at 9:00! and the thing i noticed is that he's been doing this a lot more lately. Why does he keep blowing me off? and keep telling me he'll do something but never does it?
Last week we had a long talk about our relationship, and he promised he would let me know if he couldn't talk and he would send me a message or something so i wouldn't have to stay up and wait for him for nothing. He solemnly promised he would change his ways for the better of our relationship and not make the same mistakes again, but! just a few days after he does the same old thing again! I don't know if i can trust what he says anymore! he doesn't keep his word! It doesn't look like he's putting much effort or trying hard to keep this relationship going. He showers me with compliments all the time, and says i always come first, and I'm always on his mind, well i think that's bullshit, I don't know if i can believe that because he's not keeping his word.

The question is: What should i do about this?

and if he keeps forgetting or purposely not calling, what should i do? I've already talked to him about it, but he's not doing anything to change what he's doing.

[ecojeanne]

text messaging sucks ass. make arrangements each time you are with each other for the next meet and only if anything has changed then text. otherwise it becomes about who's making more effort than the other. just don't get into that cycle of how many times one texted who etc. just arrange things face to face. it's clearer and better organised than casually hoping he will text coz it's supposed to be his turn.

[Sonrisa]

he is not interested in you. get over it.

[3r1k4]

he is not interested in you. get over it.

wow, that was kinda blunt wasn't it? you totally missed the point, and your answer was way off from what i was asking. it was pointless and didn't help whatsoever.

[trisha]

guys are like that i guess...

my bf is like that as well, worst with is he even forgot our monthsary , stupid ass...

just ignore him, though it's hard, dont expect a call from him anymore, try not to make an effort for a month and see if he'll do something about it. Act as if you dont care and see if he will be affected, cause if he'll go crazy if you ignore him it only means one thing : you're still important

JUST TRY TO IGNORE him, give him a break....he'll come back and beg if he's still into you....

[ecojeanne]

wow, that was kinda blunt wasn't it? you totally missed the point, and your answer was way off from what i was asking. it was pointless and didn't help whatsoever.

it's not an unusual occurrence, just check out some of son's other comments lol! just one to be ignored

[alovehangoverr]

If you've talked to him about it and nothing has changed you have two choices:

1. Accept that this is how he is-- it's not uncommon after so many months for people in a relationship to not need that constant contact or scheduled phone calls every night [for real-- personally, I wouldn't want to talk to my boyfriend every night at 9pm.. I wouldn't have a lot to say.]

2. Break it off. If you're not getting what you want, you know it's not going to change, you don't feel like he's putting in the effort you feel you deserve.. then there's not much you can do about it except remove yourself from the situation.

[LoveHurts09]

why does he sleep at 9pm?

hmm yh u should stop comparing it as a 'who does more' relationship, if u're not happy with him then u either live with it or compromise.. why can't u talk earlier? why can't u talk less often?

or u can always look for some1 who treats u the way u expect to be treated, there's no such thing as a text book relationship though.

[boobaa]

Why do girls need to be called so often? I know she is ok and so should she.

Talk an hour on the phone? No wonder he isn't picking it up anymore...

[Rollerderby]

Actions speak louder than words. He may say he loves you, but if he really loved you he would call.

Guys aren't always in touch with their feelings. He may think he cares, but obviously doesn't if he isn't making you a priority. Maybe there's someone else who is under the half hour mark.


(I speak with love as I have a few guys who are both over 40 mins away from me)