The Girlfriend wants space

**smackie9** · 24-09-12, 01:41 AM

I'm stickin to my guns.

**smackie9** · 24-09-12, 01:42 AM

Originally Posted by wintersend

i know i need to sort out my insecurities "/ , i need to give her her space and then we will see how things work out , i need to show her i trust her as well.

Have you ever accused her? anytime through out your relationship?

**surfhb** · 24-09-12, 01:45 AM

I don't think she is cheating in any way but I personally have never heard or seen a girl make comments like " I need time to sort us out" and come back full swing into a normal, loving relationship.

OP.....it's going to be hard but you need to move on from this girl and consider yourself a victim of a break up cuz that's what it is. Everyone has gone through one or several at some point in life so this is an obstacle in life you need to tackle head on. If it works out great!!

**IndiReloaded** · 24-09-12, 01:49 AM

Originally Posted by smackie9

I'm stickin to my guns.

Sigh. Your loss. Another female stereotype confirmed. Oh well.

**smackie9** · 24-09-12, 02:16 AM

Whatever.....

**wintersend** · 24-09-12, 11:52 PM

Well she turned up at my house last night and we went out for a drive and she broke down and "said i am sorry i have been so stupid" i said why and she said that she kissed a guy from work and that why she has been distant with me because of the guilt , it was at a work party on her birthday and she was quite drunk, she broke down crying saying how sorry she is and the way she has been acting because of the guilt she felt , and she assured me that it meant nothing.

So what do i do now she has begged me for forgiveness , or is it better that we go our separate ways

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 25-09-12, 12:17 AM

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm sure it meant nothing. Bullshit. That guy may mean nothing, but what it means is that she is having serious doubts about the relationship. Also, when a girl confesses to kissing someone, what she is really confessing to is having sex with someone. If they admit to kissing then it alleviates their guilt, and doesn't seem so terrible to you. Dump this girl, or start using her as a sex object and nothing more while you go after other girls. You need to stop looking at her as long term material, and if you can't then you need to just drop her.

**wintersend** · 25-09-12, 01:36 AM

i did ask her if she did sleep with him and she denied it , and to me she looked like she was telling the truth.

When she dropped me home last night she text me i didn't reply , she tried ringing me on several occasions this morning i let them go to voicemail and just got a text now off her saying she is so sorry it meant nothing and she wants to try and make it work , i havent replied and i am not going to.

Maybe i did push her to far , maybe it is partly my fault , but no matter what difficulties we are going through she shouldn't have done it , and i believe if you do it once you are more likely to do it again. So i am just letting her stew for a bit , i am off out to town tonight and tomorrow night so let the fun beging.

**smackie9** · 25-09-12, 03:53 AM

Originally Posted by wintersend

Well she turned up at my house last night and we went out for a drive and she broke down and "said i am sorry i have been so stupid" i said why and she said that she kissed a guy from work and that why she has been distant with me because of the guilt , it was at a work party on her birthday and she was quite drunk, she broke down crying saying how sorry she is and the way she has been acting because of the guilt she felt , and she assured me that it meant nothing.

So what do i do now she has begged me for forgiveness , or is it better that we go our separate ways

So I was right it was someone she works with. Anyways, you both have to discuss the reasons why she felt a need to experience the fruits of another ( alcohol is not the cause, but it brings out hidden desires). I think you two can work make this work but you have to get to the root of the issues in your relationship that led up to her having a slip up. Just forgiving someone isn't a solution......but it's a start. It's up to you to stay or go, not our decision to make. Best of luck on whatever you decide.

**Maple1714** · 25-09-12, 04:29 AM

Originally Posted by loveadmin

the hard truth..

gonna hurt TS alot.

It's true...when someone says "I want space" and give reasons why...it typically means that just don't want to deal with the relationship anymore...for whatever reasons. I don't think the OP needs to be as harsh as Stung suggests...like disappearing. But, he should have a sit down conversation with her and let her know that it might be best to break up for a while and take that space. Space is a good thing...she needs time to deal with family issues or whatever else and can't make time for the relationship anymore. If she really was in love with him wouldn't she want him around during stressful times? Wouldn't he be the main person she needed/wanted to lean on? Instead she says she needs space...sounds a bit like an indirect way to break-up. It doesn't have to be some big drama...just exit out the relationship quietly and if she reaches out later then the OP can decide to pick back up where things left off.

**Maple1714** · 25-09-12, 04:31 AM

Originally Posted by wintersend

i did ask her if she did sleep with him and she denied it , and to me she looked like she was telling the truth.

When she dropped me home last night she text me i didn't reply , she tried ringing me on several occasions this morning i let them go to voicemail and just got a text now off her saying she is so sorry it meant nothing and she wants to try and make it work , i havent replied and i am not going to.

Maybe i did push her to far , maybe it is partly my fault , but no matter what difficulties we are going through she shouldn't have done it , and i believe if you do it once you are more likely to do it again. So i am just letting her stew for a bit , i am off out to town tonight and tomorrow night so let the fun beging.

Well crap I posted right before I read this...anyway yeah she wanted to break up and you guys probably still should...I really don't think human beings are supposed to be magnanimous.

**IndiReloaded** · 25-09-12, 04:33 AM

Well, kudos to Smackie for calling this one. Too bad. I was hoping she wasn't right about the cheating.

Now that there is some proof of her cheating, you need to figure out if her asking for space was really remorse or if she was seeing this guy and there is more to the story. In this context, "I need space" can also mean "I need time to think about what I did so I can craft my story..."

Is there someone else you can ask about the party? Someone who won't lie for her?

Meantime, I suggest *you* ask for space. From her. Let her stew in it for a while, it will be good for her.

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 25-09-12, 04:50 AM

Indi, what more does he need to find out? What good will asking someone else about the party do?

**Boisdevie** · 25-09-12, 05:02 AM

I love the old 'it meant nothing' excuse. What a load of bullshit. Up there with the 'I was drunk' excuse.
Pathetic excuses. If the relationship was so peachy why would she have ****ed it up?

**VincenzoG91** · 25-09-12, 05:43 AM

She got drunk, she kissed a guy, she asked for space and then she lied about it all.

Maybe she is sorry about it now, and maybe telling the whole truth now, but this whole situation reflects poorly on her.

You are probably better off without her. If you forgive her and take her back, it will be easier for her the next time she feels like cheating. She might even lose some respect for you if you forgive her, thinking that you are a pushover who will tolerate any bad behavior.

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