No contact??????????

[Blackallite]

Hi everyone out there. I'm new to this so bare with me...............
I have been in a relationship with a guy who is very sweet but is totally confused!!!! He calls himself a christian but was sleeping with me. We lived together for a year and a half and had heaps in common. He was good to my kids and to me. The only disagreements that we had were about religion. He needs it and I don't. Im very spiritual but not religeous. Anyway we broke up about a month ago and he has hasselled me ever since saying he loves me but if I am not religeous then we cant be together. Does this makes sense to any one? It doesn't to me. If I was good enough to share his life for a year and a half then why has it suddenly changed? I miss him and have enforced no contact but desperately want to ring him. Whose confused? Me I think. Help!!!!!!

[Mish]

Anyway we broke up about a month ago and he has hasselled me ever since saying he loves me but if I am not religeous then we cant be together. Does this makes sense to any one?

Maybe he wants you to convert to his Religion before you two can take it any further. Religion plays a significant role in lives of many people, it also could be traditional cultural thing, if you're not of his Religion then his parents will not accept you. Along those lines.

I think the choice is pretty clear from what you posted, convert and be together or just forget about him.

[Brose]

yep he needs you to be of his religion so yall can stay together. but thas such a deeply personal thing, i don't know how you can ask that of anyone, or put that kind of ultimatum at anyone's footsteps and say "MY WAY OR NO WAY". Unbelievable. You are a tolerant person, because personally I'd be DONE with someone like that. Goodluck

[Dasein]

You say he is Christian..anything in particular...ie baptist, mormon?

[lesa]

Yep, I've experienced it.

I don't get how he would sleep with her but then have issues when his partner is not religous or of his religion. I can understand if she was of different religion maybe but it's not like he completely truly follow the principles of his own religion!

And what's with not telling you that he has a problem until later in the relationship? Why expect her to convert?

Sex makes most men illogical.

[misombra]

christians are weird. many are hypocritical. like this guy.

[lesa]

Sounds to me like the guy is puritan.

And has sex? He's a religious hypocrite.

[Tedel]

Sure it makes sense if he's christian. He's been torturing himself because he was sinning with you, and he at last got the courage to move away from your ahem... unhealthy relationship.

As a Christian, I know I will sin sooner or later. When I sin, I go to confession and period (and this doesn't make me an hypocrite whatsoever, just human): life goes on. But honestly, it is hard to refrain yourself from sex when everybody else is having it.

What every Christian wants is to have a family so they can give a few rounds to the Kamasutra with their wives. That way they feel they please God and also themselves. The guilt of doing it the other way round is sometimes very strong.

[ecojeanne]

in my opinion, if ur confused and he keeps changing the rules and guilting u, he sounds like someone u need to stay away from permenantly...its up to u....if he's telling u sob stories in order to get u to feel sorry for him then GO NO FURTHER with this relationship....he is minipulating u and may have been for a long time.

[awakenedbear]

It's hard when you have normal desires for love, companionship, intimacy, etc, but you have the church telling you that these things must wait until after marriage. They have solid reasoning, as sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies, stds, developing confusing feelings for someone, etc. Hearts can definitely be broken. I've rushed into sex more than once and regretted it.

But it is so hard for we humans to go without these things and wait, and he may be torn up inside between you and his religion and his sexuality. He may have feelings of guilt. I've battled issues like this myself- it is not easy.

Ultimately, he must make peace with himself, God and his church before committing to you, IMHO.

[donna777]

It is ironic that he's saying that he's a Christian and yet sleep with you... perhaps he has some issues to deal with his spiritual life. I think that part of him says that he wants to be with you and yet his conscience is bothering him knowing that it's wrong to have a girlfriend who is not of the same faith.