Is the past hurting me more than it need to?

[dolcegb]

I have been seeing a guy for 10 months now, and it has always been a struggle. Before me he had been sleeping with a different girl every 2 weeks. He's only actually been committed to me for the last few. He's broken up with me, dramatically, many times. He's practically living with me now, but not actually vacating his flat. he says he loves me. I might love him, but maybe I just want to, it seems I can't trust him, but maybe that's me...

The thing is that I have snooped his phone, emails, facebook and forums. I have found things that convinced me that he was sleeping with and pursuing other girls while he's been with me. I am sure that he isn't sleeping with anyone else right now and when I have confronted him about what I've found and he always has a story.

Is it important that he be honest about what was happening with other girls months ago?

From the start he indicated that he was only sleeping with me. When he broke up with me once he got picked up by two girls at a bar and had a threesome, but then he came back to me. And he stayed. When I first confronted him about this girl I think he was sleeping with 4 months ago he said they were just friends. When I pressed him further he admitted that he slept with her last year. He posted on a forum 4 months ago that he had shagged her, it didn't seem like the past-tense. He is still friends with the girl and has NEVER invited me to come meet her. It's driving me crazy not knowing if he was sleeping with us both, but does it really matter if he's not doing it now??

Do I trust in what is happening now and hope that one day he will be comfortable to be honest with me, knowing that I will ALWAYS believe he was sleeping with others and lying? Or do I just end it? The relationship does seem to be growing and improving, talk of moving in together etc, but is there anything I can do to help him to admit what's gone on in the past. I hate not knowing, I just want to know who he is.

PLEASE HELP!!

[xxazurexx]

He sounds a right catch.

I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

I wouldn't be with a guy like this. The amount of past partners would have put me off ever going near him.

[dolcegb]

I have had my share of partners too. Had one long-term boyfriend 10 years ago and nothing more than 3 months until now so I don't think I can judge him for sleeping with so many girls when I've had quite a few one night stands and flings myself.