Is he interested?

[Erika]

I went on a date with a guy last week. We'd had one other date about 2 years ago, but I hadn't wanted to see him again after that...I wasn't ready for a relationship right then. So we bumped into each other again recently and arranged another date. We got along really well - the chemistry was fantastic and we spent the night together. He sad he thought we had lots in common and I was beautiful, lovely hair, great figure and a really warm personality. He sent me a text the next day to say he had a great time. I replied, but I didn't hear back.
I was due to be going away but changed my plans, so I texted him and asked if he'd like to meet up, and he said yes, so we met for drinks - it went really well. At the end of the night he said that he'd had a lovely time, but nothing about seeing each other again.
He's 48 and he hasn't had a girlfriend in 4 years. His longest relationship since he was 28 is 6 months, and before that it was 8 years. So I'm not sure if he really knows how to be in a relationship. He said he's avoided it because of issues with his mum that have taken him a long time to come to terms with.
I really like this guy but I feel like I'll have to do a lot of the running even though he seems to like me. But surely, if he was that interested, he'd be texting and ensuring that he asked me out again......?

[Guybrush]

Well, he sounds interested in a way.

But do you know more about his relationship issues, and what's the deal with his mum? Is it only me that finds this as slightly red-flag?

[Erika]

I don't really know much about his mum, except that he doesn't like the way she treats people and because of that he has avoided women. He said it had taken him a long time to unravel that and understand why she made him feel the way he does. We come from really similar backgrounds and have worked hard to make better lives for ourselves, so it's understandable to me...
I think he is interested, I just think he's not that sure on how to be in a relationship. I guessit'sva nice change from neediness or the desire to control, which were the traits of my last boyfriend...it's just a bit different!

[Guybrush]

What kind of relationship to you picture yourself in with this guy? I think it makes sense to understand what you want before deciding what to do.

And as for answering your initial question ("is he interested?"), our assumptions would be based on "a typical man". Based on your description (him being 48 and not yet had a long-term relationship, plus the mum-issues) those assumptions may not apply.

[Erika]

I guess I would like a stable relationship with him.

After the second date, I texted him and asked if he would like a drink on a specific night - he said he couldn't make it and offered another date, which I couldn't then make. This happened over the course of a week where he texted every day, sometimes multiple times each day, letting me know what he was up to. When I said I couldn't make the date he suggested, he didn't then ask about another date. Instead he just wished me a nice trip (I was going away). I replied, and said I was unsure if he was that interested in another date because I didn't know where he stood on relationships....he didn't reply...so after 2 days I texted again and said I was puzzled about his lack of response as we had gotten along so well and he had made it quite clear that he really liked me.

Then he replied quite quickly and said he would like another date but it couldn't be for a little while given I'm away and then he is going away.

What puzzles me is why he never makes the effort to ask me out on a date, yet always agrees to it, seems to have a lovely time, and is very complimentary about me. My instinct is that he is scared about getting involved but does really like me - my instincts are usually pretty good, but still, this is not what I'm used to and I find it strange.

[Love'sReject]

I was unsure if he was that interested in another date because I didn't know where he stood on relationships.

Weird....my post was attached to a thread I wasn't replying to...