Is he just not that into me?!

[Lotus2208]

Hi all,

I would really love some advice on WHAT this guy is thinking. I apologise in advance that this may seem rambly but I want to give you guys as much info as possible!

I am a 23yo girl, he is a 31 yo guy.

So, there is a guy that I have liked for probably 8-10 months, I work in the music industry and he is a vocalist so we got to know each other via social networking sites and then via text. It has been slightly on and off with each of us having bf's/gf's during that time and not speaking as often as we had been at other times. However, we always seem to come back to chatting to each other often.

We decided to meet up for a drink about two weeks ago and finally did one week ago. We both agreed that we were nervous before and he was conscious of me liking him. It was fantastic when we did go for a drink, we had so much to chat about and there was a definite closeness there straight away.

I have been feeling a bit stifled by my friendship group at the moment so when he asked me to go on to his friends house with him for a few drinks I thought it was a great idea. And it was! I had so much fun with his friends and clicked with all of them straight away.

I then went back to his and that night we just cuddled and chatted, however when we woke up in the morning we slept together. I think this may have been due to the alcohol too it was great at the time was very sweet and I certainly felt a connection, afterwards he was waxing lyrical about how he felt so comfortable around me and didn't have to pretend (all good things I would guess)

However, since then we have spoken very very little. I am completely baffled, as I left he was saying "oh I was a bit bored with my friends so next time just let me know if you're bored as well and we can just leave". He also gave me one of his books to read on the way home and said oh you can just bring it back when I next see you.

I'm so confused about why he is acting so distant. I know that I have a habit of distancing myself from someone as soon as I feel vulnerable so I was acing slightly awkward and quiet as I left and then I text to say I got home ok and I KNOW I was putting barriers up and it seems from this that he has started acting differently.

I feel like I have tried since then though to make more of a fuss and make it obvious I want to keep talking but he seems to be a bit reticent to give anything away.

He is an Aries Rooster too so needs a lot of ego massaging but also like the thrill of the chase.

So I'm basically not sure if I should lay my cards on the table and say "I would love if we could chat more, I feel stuff is awkward after we slept together, why is that" etc. I feel that I would rather know and we can be friends than this weird elephant in the room. HOWEVER, I know that this may be a girly over reaction and he may just think I am mad and cut all communication ties.

Basically, guys, I NEED YOUR HELP!!

Hope to hear from you soon!

[smackie9]

Communication!

He doesn't know what you are thinking, and you don't know what he is thinking...and we most definitely don't know what he is thinking....you have to express to him that you really like how you get along and would be interested in a relationship with him. Make sure you are not confrontational about it, and let him know there will be no hard feelings if he isn't interested. You should get your answer then.

[smackie9]

Me personally would never had slept with him so soon. He may have had the impression that this was casual or he wanted it casual.

[Consistency]

As an Aries...

1. He probably made the assumption that it was casual.
2. Fear of love or getting hurt.
3. Bad sex.

Ask him out to a quiet place.. a park.. not a box(house) or a place with a lot of people. Parks are healing and relaxing.

[Wakeup]

I wouldn't have slept with him that soon either, but if I did cave, I certainly wouldn't have left without telling him I was interested in seeing him again and would he like to get together for dinner on Friday. Or, at the very least, told him to call me on Wed. and If he didn't, I'd chalk it up to a hit it and quit it and get on with my life.

Why are you thinking so much about this, Lotus. Just call him up and invite him to something OUTSIDE of your bedroom. If he makes excuses or doesn't reschedule with you for something at another date (if your day/time is inconvenient to him) then so be it. At least you'll know one way or the other if he actually wants to pursue something with you or not and you can quit making your own brain blow up over this.

Good luck, let us know how it goes

[smackie9]

He's a man not an Aries. Horoscopes is just a parlor game, there is nothing scientific about it.