Male Intuition?

[Curious1]

I've been seeing this guy (Guy #1) for about a month... He tells me he likes me , talks about the future, talks to me almost everyday. He told me that he doesn't want me seeing anyone else and he does not want to see anyone, but me, I didn't know how to react to that, I do have another man (Guy #2) in my life (just dating) and I guess I am just testing out the waters with the new one. I feel like he's moving too fast and it freaked me out a bit, I really like him, but I'm not ready to be comiitted just yet. I feel that I have unfinished business with Guy #2 and I don't want to put all of my eggs in one basket just yet.

So last weekend I went out with guy #2 since he had just come back into town. I felt guilty about the situtation because I really like both guys and I do not want to hurt anyone, but nothing could stop me from seeing him. I felt that I needed to make my final descision. Since that night, Guy #1 has not really spoken to me much at all. He usually will call or text me almost every day, but I have heard nothing from him since Friday. This is unlike him and I feel like he knows I was with someone else. I am not trying to be malicious or trying to play anyone. I'm just dating around and trying to figure out who is best suited for me. I've been single for a while and hurt badlyin the past so I'm trying to be careful.

These two guys do not know of each other in any way, I feel like guy #1 knows somethings up and he kicked me to the curb. Unless he was spying on me or has some kind of 6th sense theres no way he would know I was out with someone else..

I don't know what I should do to fix this.. Should I call him or l give him his space? I haven't made any moves yet. I feel that I really screwed up. I could be jumping to conclusions and maybe he's been busy, but I've realized that I miss him.

Does he suspect something?

[sadie_genie]

Why do you even feel the need to hide the second guy? You are dating around; there isn't any arrangements to be exclusive yet. You should be completely open and honest about this and tell both guys you are dating other people.

[Cerby]

No one should ever assume exclusivity unless it has been talked about. If you're just dating, then it doesn't matter what guy 1 or 2 thinks about it, if they're that into you, they'll let you know it.

Sounds like #1 just isn't that interested, or maybe is scared off, or who knows, might be seeing someone else as well. Make the effort on your end and don't assume that he suspects something, talke to him, see if he wants to date. If you find one you actually like, then work to make it exclusive and step off the playing field a bit.

[surfhb]

He's blowing you off since you can't provide what he wants. You can't date 2 men forever

I do think talking about being exclusive after a month is a little soon

[Curious1]

Sounds like #1 just isn't that interested, or maybe is scared off, or who knows, might be seeing someone else as well.

Guy 1 is the one who has been very consisitent. He told me that he doesn't want to see anyone but me and does not want me to see other people. He's made it pretty clear that he likes me. After the night I went out with someone else, He has not talked to me. Seeing that he's been consistent up until that day makes me wonder. Should I call him or Leave him alone for a while?

[NovaW0lf]

I'm going to be honest with you: you *did* screw up a little bit.

But it's salvageable, at least from what you're telling me.

What you need to do, is walk a little more in the light; tell whomever you date from now on that you're dating openly from the door, that'll keep a guy from moving too fast in the relationship. You said you had gotten a little freaked out, right? If you had been honest with the dude from the get-go, he more than likely would have been even more attracted to you because of the competition. You dodging and dipping out of fear of hurting someone will actually cause exactly that because you weren't straightforward from the get-go.

What I'd recommend, is honesty. Always honesty. You need to call whoever they *both* are and explain everything that you explained to us here, but in a way that directly pertains to them as an audience. Even if they don't like what they're hearing, they'll at least respect you for your honesty and either abide by your standpoint or leave. If they leave, don't be hurt; they probably weren't the person you should have been with, anyway.

Act from abundance, and stop fearing what other people think. It's scary at first, but you'd be surprised at how your life turns out when you live by that philosophy.

[Wakeup]

What did you tell Guy #1 when he asked you to be exclusive but you didn't want to be (yet)? I suspect his being missing in action has a lot to do with how you responded to him in that regard.

Act from abundance, and stop fearing what other people think. It's scary at first, but you'd be surprised at how your life turns out when you live by that philosophy.

Nice!

[Curious1]

He's blowing you off since you can't provide what he wants. You can't date 2 men forever

I do think talking about being exclusive after a month is a little soon

So I decide not to hang out with him one night so he writes me off? After all of the things he said and and the work he put in to be with me? Doesn't make sense.

[Wakeup]

So I decide not to hang out with him one night so he writes me off? After all of the things he said and and the work he put in to be with me? Doesn't make sense.

Maybe not to you, but perhaps it does to No. 1? You are(were?) dating a man who knows what he wants and if you hedged when he asked you to be exclusive well then, you were not giving him what he wants and perhaps history has taught him not to put to much investment emotionally in women who can't make up their own minds.

*If he wants to be exclusive after such a short time then I suspect that he's the type that doesn't like to compete, likes to give one girl at a time a chance and doesn't have "the candy store" mentality when it comes to women. (a good catch for a longterm scenerio if you both mesh nicely)

[Curious1]

Maybe not to you, but perhaps it does to No. 1? You are(were?) dating a man who knows what he wants and if you hedged when he asked you to be exclusive well then, you were not giving him what he wants and perhaps history has taught him not to put to much investment emotionally in women who can't make up their own minds.

You're right. Makes sense. I don't want this to fail, however. How should I go about talking to him after he's clearly been giving me the cold shoulder?

[bulrush]

So I decide not to hang out with him one night so he writes me off? After all of the things he said and and the work he put in to be with me? Doesn't make sense.

Guy #1 might be a bit sensitive, and that's just how he reacted. He could be busy, or he could be pouting. Try to find out which in a casual way.

Should I call him or l give him his space? I haven't made any moves yet.

In most cases, communication is the answer. That means call him to see if he's still interested in you.

[Wakeup]

Yes, if you haven't called him and you're waiting for him to do all the work then perhaps he's wondering if you don't much care for him and he's doing the fade or he's testing you to see if you at least care enough to wonder where he is. So far you've not shown us that you even like him never mind care if he's gone. Perhaps he's thinking the same thing. Call him (don't text for gawd sakes) and see how he is and where he went and let him know you were worried (but only if you really care for him. If you don't then let it fade and quit stringing him along) (please tell us No.2 isnt some FB that does you everytime he comes into town)

[Curious1]

Have you tried contacting him and he just ignores you or what?

*snipped*

Well, I tried contacting him Saturday (the night after he wanted to see me) because we had talked about going to a party together, which he seemed pretty enthused about. So texted him that night and I asked him what he was doing and got no response,

SO I just went on with my night without him...

The next morning, Sunday, He texted me back and asked me how the party went. I responded and told him it was fun and he should have come with me... Then I told him that I'd like to see him sometime soon.

From that point, I haven't heard a word from him. I have not tried contacting him after that. Now I'm starting to stress out about it and I want to talk to him, but I know space is needed at times. so I don't want to annoy him. I'm just really confused,

[Curious1]

(please tell us No.2 isnt some FB that does you everytime he comes into town)

Guy 2 is more than that, but it's one of those situations that I know will not work out for me in the long run. He travels for work and he's gone for months at a time... I cannot be in a real relationship with an invisible person. We both know that.

[Wakeup]

Guy 2 is more than that, but it's one of those situations that I know will not work out for me in the long run. He travels for work and he's gone for months at a time... I cannot be in a real relationship with an invisible person. We both know that.

Then I'd be asking myself why I hang onto someone like that and cause myself to not be available to men who actually want me. You cling to the unavailable one while knowing that you "cannot be in a real relationship with an invisible person."

My advice to you: Say sionara to mr. invisible, go zero contact so that you get over him and then concentrate on a person that is not "invisible." You sabotage yourself by keeping him in your life.

I think you fear commitment otherwise you'd want to be committed. Instead you have a hard time letting go of someone who is totally uncommitted ~ hence why I think you fear it.