boy problems :( please help...in desperate need for advice

[crystalxwhistle]

Ok here's the thing. let's call this guy "Tyler." Ok, so Tyler and me have a thing. I am far from being a relationship girl. I've never had a serious relationship. We started out as friends and then we started hooking up. We hang out all the time. I'm always over at his place. Sometimes we don't even hook up. He's helped me study, cooked for me, and we even cuddle lol (that was new!). It's wierd...I usually don't like talking on the phone, but with him, we can talk for at least 2-3 hours. I'm starting to have feelings for him. I don't know, I'm not used to this.

Anyways, last night, I really screwed up. Ok so I was at a party and beyond drunk. Tyler came to the party later. He told me that when he walked into the party, I wasn't even human anymore. The whole night was a blur to me.

He texted me the next morning, "Are you alive?"
Then goes on to tell me "You sort of made a fool of yourself haha."
So I texted back, "Omgsh! What did I do?"
He texts back, "You just said and did dumb stuff :/ but you were really drunk."
Then Tyler says "don't stress too much about it."
Later on he said, "you also kept saying you wanted to spend the night at my place..haha which i thought was funny cuz you were making out with some other dude."
At this point, this was news to me, I don't even remember doing that so I said, "No I didn't! I didn't make out with anyone that night."
He responded with "Really? My friend said she saw you making out...but I didn't see you making out so I'll take your word for it."

After this, I started to remember the night because his friend had no reason to make that up and I remember this guy kept following me and hounding me to kiss him. Please excuse my drunken logic. I kissed him only to get rid of him. That's when I realized I should call Tyler.

So I called him about it. I said, "Umm i might have kissed this guy only to get rid of him (wow worst explanation ever!)." And he said, "Yeah..." (in a tone that sounded like he didn't believe me). In the beginning, I was like "Are you mad I me." He said, "I mean I was." If I hadn't called him, I would have never known because his texts made it seem like nothing was wrong. He also told me that I talked to this girl for 30 minutes and said that Tyler was my boyfriend, which I do not remember at all! It is so out of my character to even say that word. I was so mortified. I said, "Ew! I mean not ew you ew I would never say that!"

He also told me that I was very very drunk to the point that I had to be carried to my dorm. I did apologize to him and I definitely meant it. At the end, I was like "Are you still mad at me?" And he said, "Na, not anymore. I'll talk to you later okay?"

The next night, I saw his roommate at another party. I asked her if Tyler was mad at me. I don't remember what she said, but she said something like, "Tyler's fine. He just knows that you're not a relationship girl" or maybe she said, "Now he knows not to do anything serious with you." Either way, it made me upset.

I have so many thoughts going through me head. He probably thinks I'm a skeezy ho. Maybe he thinks I like him too much by drunkenly calling him my boyfriend so that scared him off. Or maybe he thinks that I'm just down for a good time; that I don't care. Or maybe because of this, he has STOPPED liking me and wants nothing to do with me. Or maybe I'm just psyching myself out and he really doesn't care about me.

The ball's pretty much in his court right now. I said and did all I could do. I'm not gonna text/call him until he texts/calls me first. I'm already mentally preparing myself for if he never wants to hang out with me again. Maybe I should stop talking to him for my sanity...

I don't really know what to do. What do you guys think? And please don't preach to me about drinking. Advice please? I'm sorry it's so long :/

[thundersw]

I didn't red all of it, next time keep it short.
But you made an ass of yourself in from of him, probably with some other guy you don't even remember from that night.
To him you're just trash, not something to bother in days to come and you earned it. He's just ignoring you and for what I've red, for good.
Get the hint and move on.

[Regnent]

You havn't done all you can do.
If you're interested, you'd best make the attempt to initiate some contact with him.
Being piss drunk isn't an excuse, but hiding isn't going to help you any.

[crystalxwhistle]

Yeaa...I know I effed up. The last time I called him was Saturday morning and that's when he told me everything that happened. It was only a 10 min convo. I'm just gonna call him on Wednesday and ask if he wants to get lunch or something (b/c I don't wanna say too much on the phone) And then I'll just talk to him in person.

I'm still conflicted about everything so I'm just gonna be like, "What are you specifically mad about?" I just want to make sure he's mad about the guy and not for taking care of my drunk ass and then I'll just go from there.

I never call him out of the blue to do something. It's always been the other way around so I hope he knows I'm being serious and that I care.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think you should just cut your losses with this one. You're never going to be more than ****toy to him now, that's why he hasn't broken up with you...he doesn't care.

[girl68]

When a guys says "not a relationship girl" he means he thinks you're a hoe.

You sound like little miss girls gone wild. Piss drunk, random dudes... all that. Tone it down and you MIGHT have a shot with this guy.

[doppelgaenger]

no, they won't have any shot with this guy.

"not a relationship girl" is the male equivalent of the "friend zone".

[ahhrelationship]

I personally don't think you should give up. Why don't you explain everything you have explained to us? You clearly like the guy whats the worst that can happen? He might be shocked that your no longer not the "relationship" type! Ok so you were drunk and can't remember anything. We have all been there! The very fact he even texted you afterwards shows he cares at least a little! If possible though I would try and meet him for lunch or something then spill all lol .

Hope all goes well xx

[crystalxwhistle]

Yea, I'll give it one last shot. Usually, I'll be like whatever and I won't go outta my way to do something like this, but I actually like the kid lol. He knows I'm not relationship girl, I've told him before. It's been 3 days without talking/texting and it just feels wierd. Maybe he has to study for finals, but I just have this feeling because last week we hung out and talked Mon/Tues/Weds/Thurs. And the party was on Friday. And the last time I talked to him was Saturday morning so I feel like something's def up. I never really call him though, it's always him setting things up and initiating things. On Wednesday, should I just send him a text saying "Hey! Finally done with finals let's hang out" ?

[girl68]

What are you going for? If you don't want a relationship do you just want to bone?

[crystalxwhistle]

What are you going for? If you don't want a relationship do you just want to bone?

Hmm, I don't know. I just like the way things were going before. We were friends. I liked how we just go with the flow and there was no pressure for anything.

[girl68]

Just a thought (don't really care if you're a little hoe or not; in fact all the power to ya) but maybe he did kinda like you but the fact that you get on with some many dudes was his last straw?

[Ryan Heitzman]

Sounds like someone drank to much and may of even had sex with another guy.

[crystalxwhistle]

Sounds like someone drank to much and may of even had sex with another guy.

LOL no Tyler took me home that night and I know for a fact (from other people and my own fuzzy memories lol) that I just kissed him (because he kept hounding me) and walked away.

[crystalxwhistle]

My coworker who is a mutual friend of both Tyler and me jst called me. Tyler told her pretty much what happened and she told me that he's really upset. I know we're technically not together, but I do understand. I asked her was it the rando guy and the taking care of my drunk ass? And she said it was both, but the guy thing def made it worse. I was like, "Do you think he doesn't wanna talk to me ever?" She was just like, "He's just really really upset." I should have known this because he has even told me himself that he never gets mad, that it takes a lot for him to get mad.

Just to hear the fact that he's upset really makes me upset so I'm def gonna take the initiative on this one. He doesn't know that I know he'd upset though.

I'm gonna call him and just say, "Hey! I just have a feeling that you're mad at me and I would rather apologize for the stuff that went down last weekend in person. So I was wondering if we could meet up or sometime..." If he doesn't pick up then I'm just gonna text him that. What do you guys think?

Ahh, I'm nervous though. I have no idea what to do if he picks up and only wants to talk on the phone or if he just doesn't wanna meet up with me. I dunno :/ I would at least want us to be friends b/c we were friends before everything.