Quick Journey to friends category

[Journey]

After being single for a few months, I met someone at a business conference. We found out we had alot in common. She invited me to join her and a couple friends the next morning for a run.

During the run, one of the friends said something about her boyfriend, but I did'nt quite catch it, and although part of me said "damn!", I wasnt 100% sure.

Over the next month we saw each other 3 times - once for a swim, once for another run, and once for a work function. After the swim we ended up having dinner, and at the end of the dinner she moved in and kissed me. I was a bit surprised, but I wanted to kiss her too and maybe she could tell. After that kiss (lips for clarification) I was on Cloud 9, because I liked her from the moment I met her.

After the second time we met for a swim I kissed her. She also asked "Will I see you again?". So I invited her early the next week for dinner and a movie on Friday night, but she declined saying she was going out clubbing with friends. She then invited me to take the place of another friend who couldnt make it to a company event. The drive getting there was pretty long, and she mentioned something about her having "issues" but I didnt ask any questions.

I drove her home after the event. She opened the door of my car to get out, but then she turned to me. It was the third kiss, but she cut it short, saying "I should go."

The next day I mentioned I was going swimming if she was interested in joining me (Sunday). I never got a response. Wednesday came around and I mentioned I was taking my dog for a walk by the beach after work (we live pretty close) if she wanted to meet my dog.

She texed me saying she was out of town in L.A, that she would like to be friends if possible, that she didnt want to give anyone any false hopes, and that she just wanted to be honest. I first tried calling but didnt leave a message. So I texed back saying no worries, and have fun in LA.

The text was Wed, and now its Sun and I'm still really choked up about the whole thing. The kisses DID give me hope. I actually had hope with her when I first saw her and met her at the conference.
There are things going through my mind, like:

1. Maybe its all her. Her issues. Maybe a boyfriend.
2. Maybe she was feeling it could escalate into a relationship and had to put on the brakes... but why?? She kissed me and I thought she was interested.
3. Maybe she wanted a fling and thought I was getting too heavy? Did I show romantic interest instead of casual-sex only interest?
$. Did she lose interest at some point? Was there a lack of chemistry - even after a just a few kisses?

Some people have told me its not over. But being placed as a friend feels like its over. It sucks - I feel like I dont have enough game to have kept it going.

What do you think I should do now? And why do you think she put me in the friends category?

[overlooked]

hmm..i dont know exactly what happened, but in my opinion (if i were the girl), i wouldnt kiss someone if i just met him, especially not in my culture where any physical contacts with opposite sex is seen inappropriate. in the big city however it's quite common to kiss opposite sex asl long as the kiss was just a quick kiss on a cheek just as a hello/good bye thingy.

keeping that in mind, i have to ask u wether u think the kiss was a romantic kiss or just a hello-goodbye kiss. some girls can get abit too friendly at times, and their gestures can be interpreted wrongly. or maybe u're just the one who's being too sensitive about it (thinking that she likes u perhaps). but i'd say a girl wouldn't say "let's just be friends" if they like the boy. especially when she also said "i dont want to give u false hope". it's just too weird.

[IndiReloaded]

Don't hold your breath. This:

She texed me saying she was out of town in L.A, that she would like to be friends if possible, that she didnt want to give anyone any false hopes, and that she just wanted to be honest.

Doesn't sound promising. If you are really into her, ask her out once she gets back from her trip. If her response is lukewarm, move on.

Anyway, who would want to date someone who says something like that in a txt msg?

[vashti]

Don't take it personally. It is very common to date a person a few times and realize it just isn't a match. Best to recognize this right away than to try to force a fit with someone you will have to get rid of later on down the road.

[Journey]

It was a kiss on the lips - and definately not just a peck. She came in for the kill, and I was going to make it count.

Another thing - except for the company event, I wouldnt consider the other times, like going for a run, "dates". Its what friends do. But friends don't kiss on the lips afterwards either.

[vashti]

You must remember this: a kiss is just a kiss.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qujHKmU95o"]YouTube - Casablanca-Play it again Sam ![/ame]

[Journey]

Don't take it personally. It is very common to date a person a few times and realize it just isn't a match. Best to recognize this right away than to try to force a fit with someone you will have to get rid of later on down the road.

But there are so many reasons why it would have been a great fit. I felt really comfortable around her. BUT - she did seem kind of closed. Like holding her hand - I wonder what reaction that would have had. It felt like she definately had some kind of shield up.

In her text, she said, I would like to be your friend if possible. She mentioned she doesnt have many friends here but I don't know if thats true. It could be - this is a pretty cold city.

[vashti]

But there are so many reasons why it would have been a great fit. I felt really comfortable around her. .

You totally reminded me of mish right there. ^^

Anyway, your feelings are only half the equation. She needs to reciprocate the feelings in order for it to be a match. Sorry, my friend.

[Journey]

[QUOTE=vashti;344920]You must remember this: a kiss is just a kiss.


Ok Nice. Thanks. jk!
But I really dig her. What about now.. I thought that by never contacting her again, it might mean to her that I could NOT be friends after all.
But by contacting her again and asking if she wanted to go for a swim as friends, that it might indicate to her that I am confident - (a kiss is but a kiss) - ie. that I beleive that another woman will soon be lucky to be in a relationship with me anyways. Like in my text reply .."no worries". Maybe over time she might get to know me a bit better (we met only a month ago), deal with her "issues", and then the timing might be right for something?

Also - maybe she felt guilty for kissing me? Like she was on the verge of eventually cheating on her boyfriend? THATS why she texed me??

[overlooked]

Also - maybe she felt guilty for kissing me? Like she was on the verge of eventually cheating on her boyfriend? THATS why she texed me??[/QUOTE]

yea...that could be too.

[vashti]

Don't spend your time wondering what is running through her head; it doesn't matter. For whatever reason, she isn't interested.

[Journey]

Don't spend your time wondering what is running through her head; it doesn't matter. For whatever reason, she isn't interested.

You answered my question regarding what you think I should do now ("dont spend your time wondering.."). But thats why I posted this in the first place - it does matter to me.
You said "for whatever reason" she isnt interested. I guess there are too many unknowns? I guess my story isnt detailed enough for you to suggest any possible reasons?

[vashti]

Why does the reason matter? It doesn't change the end result.

[misombra]

she probably has a boyfriend. but you're just so hot she couldn't resist.

what up journnnnnnnnn!

[boobaa]

You must remember this: a kiss is just a kiss.

Maybe for you it is. But it wasn't it for him, and woman should respect that.

If she has a boyfriend but she can't resist someone other, then how can you trust her at all? I have been in similar situation, it sucks. What a bitch.

Sorry buddy, but you have to move on. You can keep her as friend if you don't feel attraction anymore, but you have to know that this is ****ed up from her side also. How can she have a boyfriend and be a good friends with someone she had a hot kiss with? This will lead into lies and confusion, I tell you.