Fiance feels worthless

[Disney8704]

My fiance keeps feeling worthless to the point he even tells me that he wants to go out and find someone better for me. I keep telling him that he isnt worthless, that I love him deeply, and finding someone else be a waste of time, cuz I dont wanna be with anyone else. Just him. He keeps telling me he feels like theres someone better for me out there, but I keep telling him thats not true cuz I feel deep in my heart, that he is it! He is the one for me. I been married once before for 6 yrs and he knows all about the marriage, how badly I was treated, etc. I even told him that if I didnt wanna be with him, I woulda left along time ago when we hit a rough patch couple months back and I wouldnt be wearing the ring he gave me.

Just last night for the 1st time he even wanted to sleep on the couch cuz he felt he didnt belong laying next to me. I finally convinced him enough to come to bed with me. He feels worthless cuz he has a medical condition (dont we all), dyslexia, so hes a slow learner, but I have told him thousand times over I dont care about that. I to also have a medical condition, a bad heart, that keeps me from doing some things myself. And he also feels this way cuz he doesnt have a job, but is looking, but I keep telling him, I dont care about the money. I just care about him, and us. And that I love him so much and I want to marry him.

Also we recently got pregnant and all in one day, I found out I was pregnant and miscarried after being pregnant for a month. He blames himself, but I keep telling him, its not his fault. Ever since we lost the baby 2 weeks ago he has been really depressed about this, but is getting better, but him feeling worthless has become more frequent. I know he loves me, he wants to work for me and for us. He wants to support me finacially. I tell him all the time he gives me the most precious gift I ever wanted. And its to be loved. And he does support me all the time with my schooling and my future career. I told him theres different forms of support. And honestly I believe the most important support he can give me is what he already does. Loving me completely and being supportive with my classes. I just dont know what else to do. I am out of ideas. Any suggestions or advice be great.

[LissaP]

Your fiance has some serious insecurities and lack of self worth. He needs to get some counseling before the two of you move forward. That mentality isnt going to fix itself. Its not about what you say to him. Its something going on in his head. I wouldnt move forward without some healing.

[Junket]

Sounds like he doesn't want to marry you.

[damn2010]

Counseling if he is telling the truth.

Serious SERIOUS talk if he is making this all up to get out of the marriage. You might want to sit him down and bring that subject up gently. "Are you seriously having these issues or are you feeling insecure and unsure about our pending marriage?"

It's important to get this settled.

[reeba]

Sometimes when we try to figure out why someone is acting this way, we read into it too much and think the wrong thing. A person involved with the subject that needs analyzing means you are going to read the wrong thing - ie what you want to see.

Either I agree with the first post - that he needs counseling. you can't make him better (he needs to do that) and nothing is worse than being stuck with a depressed person.

Or I agree with the second post - he is trying to get you to leave without looking like the bad guy.

You need to just flat out and ask him which one it is and decide what to do from there.