Completely Lost and Confused

[lostinquestion]

Hey everyone,
So here is my situation. I have been talking to this girl at my school for almost a year. We have been very close, even talking nightly for most of it. Phone calls were sparse however AIM was never short (we are college students, she 22, I 23). With such hectic schedules in our senior year we never got to see each other with great frequency but she was a roommate of a close friend (another male) and thus we did see each other on occasion. However, about a five weeks ago I arranged a dinner party to a local brewery for all the seniors in my department and I invited her along. She ended up coming and there was light flirting going on from the start but that turned into full flirting and we talked all night over drinks and pool. She ended up coming back to my place that night but we had no sexual activity, I wanted something serious out of this and didn't want to ruin it by trying that the first night. So after that night we spent many of the next 3 weeks together, with numerous sleepovers and still no sexual activity (we were taking it slow...shocking for college I know). Then one friday we decided to meet up after her barcrawl/my night out with friends (couples). She shows up and kisses me right away followed by arms around each other and the such. Then we go to her apartment and eventually decide to call it a night. Thats when heavy petting/make out occured, sex was postponed due to no protection. Then I finally asked the big question, "What happens when we graduate", because she lives 4 hours away. We talked and after some time we both admitted that we would gladly like to see this continue on afterwards and we would like to date exclusively on a more serious note.

THEN the next morning she seemed different, but it being finals week at school I figured that perhaps that was it. We didn't see each other from Saturday morning until late Friday night, which was weird because we had been together every other night at least but once again it was finals week and we were both swamped. Then comes friday night, Senior Ball at our college. I go to her house prior and all of us are playing drinking games and such but she really isn't that talkative, but she was drunk so who knows. We finish things up there then leave for the dance. When we get there, she had gone seperate because we had to take seperate cars in order to fit everyone, she takes pictures with her 2 roommates and thats it....um ok? Then we get inside and the true night unfold. I can't find her half of it, then the other half she is barely talking and then only two dances. I feel crushed so after 2 hours of misery I leave (did i mention it was my birthday). Then 20 minutes later I get a text from a really close friend saying that my date had gone up to her and told her she had been a bitch to me and that it sounded like she was saddened by it. So once again i figure its the booze and figure I will get a call/txt/im/email the next day. Saturday comes and goes. Sunday I call her, it goes to voicemail after it rings. So now I am thinking WTF, this girl was head over heels for me for the past 5 weeks, everyone who saw us saw two people who were emotionally attached and romantically inclined.

Well now its Thursday and I have heard nothing from her, I tried asking her roommate but that only got a "dude im sorry for that idk what happened". No response from her and I have given up trying to reach her.

I just want to know if anyone has any kind of explanation for this. I mean I truely thought this girl was great, I liked her a lot, I love talking to her, and just overall I believe we fit well together. That paired with her constant texting in the previous weeks had suggested she felt the same....when we woke up she was always smiling in my arms....what could make someone change so quick? I mean I get the change of heart but the desire to not talk again is just confusing me so i need to know some peoples thoughts on this.

Thanks for everything and sorry it was long winded. Just wanted as much detail out there so that people can respond well...I really feel crushed over this, I never open up that much to anyone until we commit and between that and the possible loss of a friend....

[lahnnabell]

I honestly can't tell you what's going on in her head. It could be that maybe she decided to withdraw out of fear that things would not work long distance, but you guys were awfully close for weeks, so I can't imagine why she felt that she couldn't talk to you about it. Would have been a better option than to start giving you the cold shoulder though. How childish and lame.

I think you need to straight up ask her what's going on. You've got nothing to lose at this point and any explanation would be better than none, in my opinion. Unless she's gonna tell you that some long lost ex she's been pining for has popped back into her life. That would sting too. Sorry

[francoatgrex]

... Then 20 minutes later I get a text from a really close friend saying that my date had gone up to her and told her she had been a bitch to me and that it sounded like she was saddened by it...

This part intrigued me! So it seems she is aware that she is being what you call a "bitch" and she has disclosed this information indirectly to you. It is possible that she has said more to that close friend of yours, try to find out. In any case, you had started this relationship quite well, especially withholding immediate gratification, this is a good sign to the girl that you're after something more than just sex. The best move right now is to just wait for her to talk to you, don't send her more messages. She will eventually talk to you if you stay put and refrain from chasing her.