Jealousy - how to get over it?

[Ninax3]

Hey everyone,

I have recently developed a bad habit of getting jealous (or even hating myself) when guys i've been seeing have found other women attractive or hot. It started when I dated this guy who was pretty much obsessed with good looking actresses/models etc and he would compare them to me, which after a while forced me to look at myself and feel not good enough. I always felt like if a more attractive woman came along, he would leave me for them.
It makes me ask myself "why are they telling me she's gorgeous? aren't i good enough or something?"

Its weird cause before i met this guy i was very very secure with myself and extremely laid back. Thats actually the main reason why guys liked me!
I don't know what to do anymore or how to stop this....

Any ladies know how to get rid of this?

[bluesummer]

While I think it is insensitive of guys to constantly point out hot girls, a couple times is not a big deal. I often think they throw it out there once or twice to see if you'll turn into a jealous hag. You shouldn't freak out over the occasional comment. The way I see it we all find other people attractive and we'd be lying to say we didn't, so voicing it once in awhile isn't a huge deal, you're just keeping it real. HOWEVER, doing so regularly and then COMPARING you to the other girls is a huge no-no. You have a right to be upset about that for sure. Don't let it get you down or make you feel self-conscious.....it's his issue, not yours.

Good luck.

[Raze]

Yeah, a lot of males and females do that. Take my mom for example, she always points out hot actors and hot people on TV. I don't really know how my dad takes it and I told my mom to stop doing it and she still does it. I told my dad that he should tell her to stop doing that because it would bother hell out of me if that happened to me. I just hate it when people do that and I think you have every right to feel the way you do about it.

[Patti9392]

Well first he shouldn't be comparing you to these models/actresses. Money can make anyone look pretty. You need to tell you it's one thing if you feel someone is attractive but stop comparing them to you. If you had millions of dollars I am sure you could look like that too. Maybe he isn't the right man for you. Cuz no man should be verbally putting you down like that.

[Ninax3]

Thanks for the great replies


I don't have a prob with a bf doing it with his friends, its normal...but infront of their gfs? Just seems really condescending to talk about other women infront of me, I don't do it to him! I mean at one point i'd be pretty relaxed about it but since dating this idiot a few years ago, he brought out this side of me which i' m trying to kick in the butt. Eck. Glad i'm not alone in this anyways!