your gunna see me go back and forth a lot here... but i kinda want opinions and to see what others have to think.
Okay so i been single my whole life, never been kissed. and i find that i am rather okay with that. but here and there i seem to fall into an emotional slump where it feels like i am upset because i don't have a partner.
I'm young, 20 years old, and really have a lot on my plate... i go to work and school and that takes up my whole week. and with bills and such i am stuck living at home hardly able to support myself. so in all logic i'm not in a great place to have a GF.
I'm going to school for Massage Therapy and kinda want to go out and get a job on Cruise ships when i graduate, but if i have a girlfriend then it's gunna be a hard choice to make being as it's easier to travel for work when your single.
I love attention! i love to cuddle (haven't in 5 years) and it's hard to find that kind of attention from friends especially when there all dating. my friends aren't the types to randomly cuddle with a friend, they need the nudge into a relationship, so i find i love for a bit of that physical attention.
Sex is not really on my mind at all... ignorance is bliss, I'm a Virgin and so i don't know what I'm missing... so it's hard to miss it.
I am close friends with all my female friends and sometimes it feels like they are dating me while having a real BF for the physical attraction... it's odd when there dating but you talk to them more then their BF and they seem to come to you instead of them...
i got a back handed comment from a friend... "John your extremely attractive mentally, but i can't even consider it Physically."... what do i say to that...
my real issue isn't that i am close to a lot of girls as friends but i love to be in love... i fall in love really easily, even if it's with someone that i can't see myself dating exactly... like a deep friendship love...
why would a girl wanna date me anyway, i would do almost anything for my friends and i understand the Nice Guy idea, if i treat them all special it's hard for them to see they are special... but where i'm going with this is the fact that with how loyal i get and how much i care it's almost like i am there BF mentally anyway so dating me is only opening physical... thats how it seems sometimes...
I don't actually have an issue asking girls out, I am comfortable around girls and know that it's always better to tell the truth then to hide emotions, but all the girls i have wanted to date (3) all turned me down...
Rejection isn't that bad to me, i keep the friend and i'm used to being just the friend. i think the only thing that gets me nervous is the possibility's that they will say yes... i am extremely loyal and would never cheat and would be committed but i don't want to ask a girl out then to disappoint her you know.
i understand that relationships are about risk, that's why i ask anyway, if i don't take the chance then i will be stuck with the what if...
i also find falling in love easily sets you up for some bad situations, the last girl i asked out seemed great for me when i was hanging out with her. and about 2 months after she said no i realized we clash a lot, and the relationship would have failed because were too different... a friend of mine (the first girl i asked) looked at the situation and commented on the fact that i fall for the weirdest people...
lol and i have had one gay intrest... lets leave that for another discussion. but my crush on him was what made her say it, because me and him clash a bit too lol.
So I'm in between a rock and a hard place, i want to look for a GF and to get open to the dating world, but i wanna stay single and loose for my future... and yes i hit match.com... lol my body type kills my chances... I'm not even that bad i got fat but still...
Then there is the fact that i don't wanna leap into a relationship with a stranger, but i was told that becoming a girls friend was a risk in itself because you put yourself in a position where a girl sees you as only a friend.
lol and really all this depresses me for a day here and there but i get over it fast... i am very laid back by nature and really i typed this out for advice or opinion... not really because i'm depressed about it but just out of curiosity...