Girlfriend and Relationship OCD - help

[Crusader]

Okay basically my girlfriend has turned around and told me that she has relationship OCD. Apparently she loves me, but has feeling for another guy. This has been going on for two week now, and every time I ask her how does she feel, all she has to say is 'im confused' and with persuing her for an answer its still the same response. What do I do? Do I fall back and just not contact her and if she does truly love me wait for her to get into contact with me? Do I end it now? (Can you even be on love and have feelings for someone else) or do I just move on? Or any other suggestion?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You have the right idea. End it with her, and don't spare her feelings. Call her on the phone and tell her its over.

[Crusader]

Could you justify your answer? So I can see reasoning behind it before I jump to any certain decision.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She has feelings for another guy, which means she's been interacting with him, and very likely is firming things up before she leaves you. You are a safety net, and the fact that you're still around shows her that you're her bitch and she has total control. Crush her. Either dump her, or start dating other girls too.

[Crusader]

Your advice on 'relationship OCD'? Is it really her fault that she's feeling like this tho? Not that I'm trying to make excuse for her.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She'll figure out what she wants much quicker if she doesn't have you as a backup. Even if her feelings are justified, she's not handling it in a respectful way. You really should dump her or start seeing other girls. You sound like a bitch right now, and you are making excuses. This chick obviously doesn't like you that much.

[smackie9]

Your advice on 'relationship OCD'? Is it really her fault that she's feeling like this tho? Not that I'm trying to make excuse for her.

This has NOTHING to do with OCD. A change in feelings is perfectly normal and it happens to everyone. The honeymoon stage of your relationship has come to an end and there isn't enough to keep it going. This relationship OCD is just a lame excuse.

When I was a teenager any guy would be lucky to make it past the 2 week mark.

[michelle23]

Backup is right. You gotta be assertive if you want her self respect. You need to show her this is unacceptable, disrespectful to you and your relationship and you will not tolerate it. Break up with her. Tell her your not gonna be her puppet on a string waiting for her to tell you whats next. If shes got feelings for someone else then it IS her fault for putting herself in this situation and allowing herself to emotionally cheat on you by getting too close to him.

Believe me she knew when they first started hanging out and flirting that she was crossing a line and she didnt care about your feelings then and doesnt now.

If you want any hope of saving this relationship then dump her, wait for her to come running to you and let her beg for forgiveness. Let her no if she ever crosses a line like this again your not coming back.

Personally i dont believe in second chances so id just dump her and move on but its your choice

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[Crusader]

Thank you, any more advice is welcome.

[TheEvilJester]

I would have to agree with the majority here. It is not okay for her to play with you like this. If she wants to be in a relationship with you, then it is not okay to even be thinking of other guys like that. It would be different if you guys were just dating, and therefore not really exclusive to each other. But, it doesn't sound like that is the case. After all, you called her your "girlfriend" which, to me, implies something more serious than just dating.

How long have you two been together? Either way, you deserve, just as anybody else would deserve, somebody who will think of you as their one and only. It is not okay to be in a relationship and at the same time be interested in somebody else. My advice would be to back off and break up with her. I would tell her (while still remaining polite and cordial about it, but just very matter of fact) that you are not okay in staying with somebody who is having feelings for somebody else. That you cannot be with somebody unless they are full committed to just you.

Frankly, if she feels this way now, what makes you think it won't happen again even if she does ultimately choose you? She sounds like the type of person who is always just looking for "the next big thing" and will never be happy in a relationship. Good luck. I hope you can find somebody who treats you the way you deserve, whether that is her, or turns out to be some other girl.

[Crusader]

We've been together 3 years and thank you for the advice.

[TheEvilJester]

We've been together 3 years and thank you for the advice.

Then I stand by my personal feelings even more. Three years is relatively a long time to be together. That sounds like a pretty serious relationship. To be together with somebody that long and then suddenly start having feelings for somebody else is wrong.

Obviously we can only offer you advice. You have to do what you feel is right for you. But, if it were me, I'd start having serious thoughts of breaking it off. You, just like anybody else, deserve somebody who can commit 100% to you.