She's all over the place, what to do ?

[ConfidentMan99]

I went out with this girl for 6 months but it felt like 1 yr + since we got soo close, soo fast. She said I love u and all that good stuff. She even said I want to marry u almost everydya for like 2 months.

We broke up for NO reason ..there was no fight..nothign .. It seems like it's a "grass is greener syndrome" since I read the thread about it. Basicaly everything was going good..then she gets a call from her mom who lives overseas(and her mom always makes her feel guilty) she's all over me then 10 min later, she's like thats it, it's over, I don't feel comfortable, I don't feel good. Why? she just repeats the same thing .. I told her give me ur mom's number(since I sensed it's that) ..then she was still all over me after the break up(I love u but this is the last time..)she did but she then told me that her mom doens't want to talk to me so I never called(her dad told her that he doesn't want to hear about guys until she graduates and her mom is saying she should get to know other guys before she decides on me). We got back together 5 days letter..she was soo emotional..kisse me then pushes me away then kisses me then holds my hand then throws it.. then we finally got back together and she was SUPER HAPPY..3:30 am she tells me she loves me and would take a bullet for me ..11 am .."it's over..I was thinking and I talked to my mom ... " She said I maybe making a deicison that I regret and i'll wake up to this one day but I want u to go for other girls since I don't want u to wait and in the future, if we are still single and if I am "worth having u" then God will make it easier. I said I will wait for her until she graduates, just be committed to me. She said no don't wait, u go for other girls and if u come back to me, it means u really want me (* * * ?)

For the next 6 weeks ..it's one day she acts like a couple, next day, total * * * * * ..then couple then * * * * * ..like that back and forth. When she sees me, she says I love u and all that stuff.. then the next day, that's it I don't want to see u ever! She says she's confused to she has feeling for her ex to this new guy ..to I am confused ..to I dunno what I want .. She says I don't want to see u one day then when she sees me in school, she ditches her friends, calls me and spends time with me acting like a couple. We spent 12 hrs togther the last time we saw each other..she was acting like a couple for the next 2-3 days then says "I miss u" ..5 hrs later --> I was thinking, me and u it's over, I don't want to see u ever again ..

I don't love u, I never loved u..I don't care about u .blabla .. one day she closes the phone on my face..then calls me back 1 hr later saying sorry or acting like nothing happend .. she could of walked away MANY times but she never has.

She sometimes would call me 4 TIMES in one day without me contacting her once .. 1:30 pm ..3:30 pm ..6 pm ..10 pm .. "hey how ru, what u doing..what did u do " or my favorite at 10 pm "I just wanted to say hi" .. sends me random txt messaging. Every phone call last from 20 to 65 min each!

She deleted me and all guys off facebook except this one guy who's into her and she says she's into him and she has a "plan" with him and he asked her to delete all guys and this stuff yet she still calls me for no reason!

then we were hanging out one day and she opens her wallet and she has 8 PICTURES OF me in her wallet ..and no other guy pics in there ..and she says ur the most amazing guy.. u treat me soo well ..whoever gets u is a "Lucky * * * * * " .. I say why don't u be that * * * * * , she goes "I dunno, i'm confused..I love u but I dunno if my love will last 20 yrs from now.." (* * * ?) then I said what about this whole I wanna marry u thing ..she says "I still would marry u" ..I chased after he for 8 weeks to no avail..

she told me THIS new guy in USA (we're in Canada) is coming in july and shes' gonna see him and she's going to go see him later in the summer(in the US)..

so anyways it got to another point.I don't want to see u ..we haven't seen each other for a month now.. she kept brining guys up on the phone..trying to make me jealous "I'M GOING out wit hthis guy .." then she calls me later at 1 am?? and "i'm diong this and that" ..I got mad cause I know it's BS and she's just trying to piss me off so I * * * * * ed at her and she still calls but I STOPPED initiating ALL contact with her.. she still calls me from time to time just to talk and txt me as well.. SHe blocks me on msn but when I come online, she unblocks me and starts talking then when I leave..she blocks me again..

a week ago,on msn, she told me
"I miss u " .. and she sounds so depressed..she said she' hasn't gone out in a week...she doesn't go to summer school anymore..she just stays at home in her room ..she doesn't talk to anybody.

then 2 days ago "I wanted to tell you, I really really really really really miss you", I say "really?" she says "yes", I say "what do u miss the most about me" , she says "the feeling of havnig someone there for me" then I say "oh there's nobody there for u?" .she says "everything is the same, it's just you missing" then she changes subject .. then I say "I am missing but there is only one person that can make a change to that"

then she started recalling memories of me and her together and ask about my family.

she told me she's no longer going to the states and she's gong back home (shes' not from canada) now for vacation (thats' where her EX lives!!) ..and she might not even be here anymore when the guy from the states comes. I said what' up with u keep switchign.. she says "i'm confused as usual but now i'm certain" ..

I still am not initiating ANY contact ..if she wants to talk, she has to call me .. but am I doing the right thing?

and if nobody knew better, it sounds like I broke up with her ..she sounds SOO depressed about EVERYTHIGN in her life ..while i'm trying to continue living my life..going out with friends and going to the gym.

Is it her parents? Is it her ? what's going on ?? Do I keep doing the same thing?

What I also forgot to mention is while I was chasing her after our breakup ..being all needy and desperate and telling her how much I love you. She either screams at me, tells me how pathetic I am or closes the phone on my face or "the other guy si soo much better than u ! " ..and whenever she says those things ..she ends up calling or texting me in a few hours or the next day as if nothing happend ...

[IndiReloaded]

Basically, shes nuts. Doesn't know what she wants.

Dump her if you haven't yet. Tell her to figure out what she wants, and IF you aren't already seeing someone, you might consider her then.

Life is too short for this crap. Go find someone stable & fun to be with.

[ConfidentMan99]

I want her back though but I can't talk to her about it or else she's going to scream and everything will be back to square one. Do I just continue the same way ..making her contact me and that's it ?

[IndiReloaded]

Well, by letting her know you want her back (by words or actions), you put all the power in her hands. And since she's a spaz, I think you are foolish to do this.

My way, she still knows you are interested, but that you are setting a firm boundary for what you find acceptable. Then the choice is hers to sort herself out or not.

Think of it this way: Do you really want to be with a chick like this, 5, 10 years from now who *still* makes your life crazy w/all her unresolved drama? Why would you ever want someone like that?

[Mish]

Yeh, take the initiative and tell her that this is it, you are done with her. You don't want to be in a relationship who acts like that, especially not in the long run.

[sweetlittleme]

I'm a bit confused with your love-hate relationship. So I guess you are both confused on how to go about with your relationship.

Good for you, you were able to keep away from her, so I guess I would advise you to keep doing that. Your ex is confused in her way of treating her lovelife...
On the other hand, she might be testing you when she kept telling you of other guys or a particular guy she's seeing..

Finally, if you want to have peace inyour life, just meet new girls, go on new dates and feel free of any emotional involvement with your ex. Stay away from her , if she makes contact, maybe you should have the final say..that you have moved on and that she should just find out for herself what she wants to do with her lovelife.

Find your own lovelife, sure it hurts for a while, but life should go on, and seek your own happiness.

Good luck!

[Yggdrasil]

My advice: apply the NO CONTACT rule. No contact what so ever for 3 weeks.

Block her phone number, msn, txt messaging, anything she can use to contact you. Get a restraining order against her if you have to. Resist the urge to contact her and sweath out the 3 weeks.

Then see what happens.

Right now you don't give much honor to your handle "ConfidentMan99".