Breakup depression and hopelessness

[Sooky]

Hello people,

Well by bf just dumped me. If any of you guys read my posts in the intimate forum about sex phobia then you already know of the kind of problems I've had. Well forget how I felt before. I now realise that was completely and utterly trivial and nothing in comparison to how I know feel.

It all came so unexpectedly which is really the shock of it. We seemed to be getting on so well, but then, its over. Just like that. He claims its not the sex thing, but I'm not stupid and I know thats part of it, maybe nearly all the reasons behind it. I dont know.

But since it happened I've cried for like 4 hours straight and I feel terrible. A little better know as I'm able to type and put my feeling down in this post, but still terrible. Before anyone says it, I know its pathetic to feel like this and I should try to move on and get over this, but at the moment my emotions have taken over and I'm really struggling to escape their grip. Earlier I was even a bit suicidal, dont think I would have seriously done it, but I was definately tempted to over dose on paracetamols or something. How pathetic is that.

I'm just in shock more than anything. I mean for ages I suspected he may dump me, but never really believed it as we were gettting on so well. He was so nice to me, always asking if I was ok, saying he loved me, and doing anything he could to give me pleasure. The next second I'm dumped.

Well at this point, I'm happy to have any advice, comments, messages. Any at all. I feel so lonely, worthless. I understand if nobody wants to post back to this as it all seems pretty heavy, or maybe you think I'm just attention seeking I dont know. I swear I'm not.

I just dont know what to do. Thanks in advance 2 anyone who bothers to read all this crap or replys. I really really do appreciate it.

[vashti]

A loss is a loss. Allow yourself to grieve fully before you make your way back into the dating world. Learn whatever lessons you can from this relationship as you will need them for the next one.

[Henry123]

Hang in there. Theres plenty of guys out there.
When one door closes anothe one opens. Now this gives you the opportunity to meet other people (when your ready).

[King Zarathu]

Can I give you a massage and bring you a margarita, Sooky?

[Sooky]

Firstly thanks for reading and replying to my post. It really helps to know there are people out there who are listening, well til now at least.

Unfortunately I'm obviously still suffering intensely from the grieving/ shock phase so moving on with my life seems next to impossible at the moment.

Just trying to get my head around how it could happen so out the blue. How can one minute you be hugging someone, kissing them and telling them how much you love them and the next minute be dumping them? I just dont get it. What do you guys think of this? Is it common?

[King Zarathu]

Just trying to get my head around how it could happen so out the blue. How can one minute you be hugging someone, kissing them and telling them how much you love them and the next minute be dumping them? I just dont get it. What do you guys think of this? Is it common?

Yes. Don't worry about it, you're going to be fine.

After I give you a massage and a margarita, that is.

[Zach]

Sooky, I have just been dumped too. I have been taking it terribly and I can truly empathize with how you feel right now. I know that you feel alone, scared, desperate, lonely, betrayed and more than likely physically sick. And it is sure that you have seen better days. But know that you are not alone! I am also going through this and it has been a month to this day actually for me. It has gotten MUCH better but I still get very sad. It comes in waves as you already know. At first I would get terrible waves of complete despair and hopelessness. The realization is to much to handle all at once so your mind/heart takes it in small amounts. In time, I promise it will get a little bit easier everyday. And you will be ok. I have been through this before and I am going through it again right now and I am still here. If there is anything you need right now is to talk with friends and get out all your feelings. Possibly write down what you feel then put it aside. Also another thing I wish I would have done when it happened is to make sure NOT to chase after them. Don't try and get them back because more than likely you will only push them away. I hope you find the strength to pull through this and learn something you will use later on in your life. Be strong now more than ever and Always look foward! Like my fortune cookie told me the other day: "Instead of dwelling on the past, move foward constructively." Indeed.

[Gigabitch]

Sooky (and Zach),

I feel for you guys. It's gonna be a long, hard winter for both of you. LF helps, I swear it does.

[sazzya1987]

Sooky, it is best to take each step as it comes. Just hang out with friends and seek the help you need from your friends and family, even this forum will help guide you if you ever need to talk to people to rant about how you are feeling every few days. Break-ups are really hard and it takes time for the heart to heal its wounds.

[Henry123]

I'm just in shock more than anything. I mean for ages I suspected he may dump me, but never really believed it as we were gettting on so well. He was so nice to me, always asking if I was ok, saying he loved me, and doing anything he could to give me pleasure. The next second I'm dumped.

Unfortunatly theres some guys who will say anything to you to get you to have sex with them. Just like there are some gold digging women who manipulate guys to get to their wallet. You just have to watch out for these types.

[Gigabitch]

Sooky, I wish you would check in.........

[Mathias]

I miss Sooky.

[Sooky]

Hey again,

Sorry for the lack of posts guys. Been in hiding since my crash and burn at the weekend. Been feeling pretty crapy and thought my posts might be an annoyance to you, as I'm still confused about this whole thing.

Unfortunatly theres some guys who will say anything to you to get you to have sex with them. Just like there are some gold digging women who manipulate guys to get to their wallet. You just have to watch out for these types.

I don't think thats why he was being so nice, he seemed to really care about me. He seemed so different from most guys. *Sighs* But maybe that was all he was after. Guess I'll never know for sure. Just convinces me all the more that at the end of the day, most men, well most people really are going to want sex and if you dont give in to it you'll be alone. Sad but true.

Just have to try and remember all his negative points. The fact that he dumped me like this out the blue in itself tells me he didn't really love me. And if I think about it, there are many reasons its for the best. I can now get back to whats important in my life. TV and lots of it! (Yeah, yeah I know its pathetic!)

I miss Sooky.

You really missed me? Didn't expect anyone to miss me. I find I'm naturally invisible round most people. Well partly invisible anyhow. Really wish my invisiblity could be complete, because then I could use it like a cool super power.

Anyway, promise I'll try and post more often from now on. You guys have been great online buddys, and I don't know what I'd do without you! Thanks for reading.

(PS- Special thanks goes to Zach in this forum. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and experience and reminding me I'm not alone. Hope you recover from the break-up blues soon too. )

[Gigabitch]

Been feeling pretty crapy and thought my posts might be an annoyance to you, as I'm still confused about this whole thing.

Knock that shit off, Sooky, that's what we're all here for. If somebody finds your posts annoying, they don't have to read them, and if they're mean about it, I'll go after them like a pit bull, okay?

[Zach]

I think I may need to listen to my own advice a few times again.... lol
Make sure to cut off contact completely...
I won't make that mistake again..

Dont worry sooky!! Ill be ok! You and me both will make it through this.