He cheated after we moved in together.

[polly1122333]

Hi everyone, thanks for reading.
I met my ex from riding, we meet on Easter weekend, at the time I was looking for a place to move, and so was he, so we decided to shared a place, few days before we move in to the house, we became boyfriend and girlfriend, and we still decided to move in together, about 3 weeks ago, I found out he had a couple of girls at our house while I wasn't there, I got very upset, because he actually lied and said he was at a friend's place, but actually he was home with these 2 girls, we had a long chat, and he said he wouldn't lie to me again, and that he was very sorry, so things were going fine, we go for rides on the weekend etc, and then last week, I found out he's been in contact with his ex, (they broke up about 2 months before we met) and her ex asked about me because she saw the picture on facebook. and this is what he said.
""That is not girl friend that is scary housemate who I feel I have to babysit. You are my girlfriend, you are my love, my one and only.
I can't afford to get my own place yet, I may need to sell the bike. Or if I can put my stuff in storage, I can live on a couch at Barry. It's all too hard. Why can't it be how I had our weekend holiday house and we live in together again?!""
after I saw this, I confronted him and asked him to move out.
he left and he's coming back this weekend to pack his stuff.
I feel I want to talk to him and get some closure, do you think it's a bad idea??? I'm very hurt by his action, he had every chance not to move in, because we had long chat about our situation and yet he said that's what he wanted and wants to spend the rest of his life with me ..... I find it very difficult to move on... not knowing what went wrong, was it me?

[michelle23]

dont talk to him ever again. Move on with your life. You made the same mistake millions make hun so dont beat yourself up-just learn from it. Dont ever date a guy who has just gotten out of a relationship again. You will just be a rebound or a plan B.

Be strong now and dont go back to him. No matter what he says or does-you gotta hold your head high and stand your ground. Its over

[michelle23]

maybe yoiu didn't give him enough sex thats why he cheated

Thats not an excuse to cheat. There is no excuse. if your not happy-either try to fix what is wrong or leave.

[Valixy]

Your probably moved in too soon with him before having a chance to really know him as a person. Unfortunately he seems to be the kind of guy that can be great during a holiday weekend or a a few weeks but in reality he is a liar and a rude person who likes to fool around with several girls in the same time. Let him leave or leave yourself. He isn't worth your time.

[polly1122333]

Thanks for the replies.
Cheers: our sex life was great!

[polly1122333]

So talking to him and understand why it's total waste of time? Just let him pack and change the locks?

[Valixy]

The way he behaved with you is upsetting just by reading about it...He deserves complete indifference from you and nothing else. If this kind of things happen in the first two months when all should be nice and happy, how do you think he'll behave a year from now on? You deserve better.

[polly1122333]

I have no intension of getting back with him, I feel I want to talk to him to get some closure. But then he might just bullshxx me again.
I feel so betrayed and I feel used by him, like the only reason he was with me was because he can't afford his own place??????

[Valixy]

Some people really don't have much to offer... A few nice days or weeks, then they go back to their old superficial deceiving selves...This is who they really are, no matter how much they tried to appear someone else at the beginning...

[michelle23]

I have no intension of getting back with him, I feel I want to talk to him to get some closure. But then he might just bullshxx me again.
I feel so betrayed and I feel used by him, like the only reason he was with me was because he can't afford his own place??????

You dont need closure. closure comes from within you. You can be proud of yourself that you sussed out what a loser he is and dumped him. All you need to say to him if you ever see him again is "have a nice life"

[michelle23]

sorry,men need sex its a basic need

oh right so will you die if you dont have sex?? See I thought food and water were basic needs. Anyway its still not an excuse to cheat. If your unhappy you leave before hopping into bed with someone else.

I am not saying sex isnt an important part of a relationship. It is to most men and most women BUT if sex is bad-either fix the problem or walk away. What does cheating solve?

[polly1122333]

He's coming here to pack on Friday, then truck coming on Saturday.
I'm thinking should I avoid him, but then I'm worry he might do something stupid like breaking things on purpose. Hence why I am going to change the locks.

[michelle23]

Pack his stuff for him. Have it all outside the door Friday before he gets there and change the locks before then too. And in the meantime arrange a day out for yourself on Friday so your not there when he comes over.

How much stuff does he have? Jeez. I live with my bf and the house is full of my stuff. All that belongs to him is a wardrobe full of clothes, some DVDs, a DVD player and a weight bench plus his toiletries and other small stuff. Hed pack it all in an hour and fit most in his car if he was moving out.

What makes you think he would break stuff?

[polly1122333]

Pack his stuff for him. Have it all outside the door Friday before he gets there and change the locks before then too. And in the meantime arrange a day out for yourself on Friday so your not there when he comes over.

How much stuff does he have? Jeez. I live with my bf and the house is full of my stuff. All that belongs to him is a wardrobe full of clothes, some DVDs, a DVD player and a weight bench plus his toiletries and other small stuff. Hed pack it all in an hour and fit most in his car if he was moving out.

What makes you think he would break stuff?

He has a lot of stuff here, a home office, beds, couch, washing machine, dryer, clothes etc, it takes up two room, plus bits and pieces in the kitchen, stuff in the garage....

He is the kind who likes revenge, and he's selfish, he told me when he broke up with one of his ex, he slept with her best friend and her aunt to get at her.
When he sold his last car, he took it out for burn out etc before the buyer pick up the car...
I just kicked out out the other day after I found out, so... I wouldn't be surprise if he do something stupid.

[michelle23]

why didnt you dump him then when he told you that? jeez id run a mile from him.

look its just stuff. let him take his s**t and leave. leave the house before he gets there-maybe stay with a friend for the weekend and lock your stuff into your bedroom before you go.

he sounds like really bad news so all that matters is your sfe and not there when he turns up.