my girlfriend and i have been together for a 2.5 years. last january, someone had forwarded me flirtatious emails that were going on between her, and a friend of hers. to sum it up, the emails that were being back and forth:
a) denied she was sleeping with anyone regularly, when she was
b) included dialogue where the guy asked if she thought they should sleep together, and she said yes
c) she stated that she wasn't sure if she could just be friend with him anymore
when i approached her about the emails, she originally denied that the emails that were forwarded were dated correctly. i knew it wasn't true so, i basically pushed the issue, and made her log into her email to prove that the dates were right. she finally owned up to it, but, i'm not sure where i go from here. the back and forth emails spanned three months. it looks like it was just email flirting, because the sleep together suggestion is thrown out in october, and when i received the messages in january, it's still just back and forth flirting, and suggesting they hang out.
my problem with this is that the guy she was flirting with is her daughter's best friend's dad. now, she has said that they don't communicate anymore. the daughters are 13, and organize hanging out/sleepovers on their own. insecurity/jealousy has gotten the best of me, and i have checked her cell phone on various different occasions, and i have never seen his phone number dialed.
i know that this is a gray area. and maybe i'm being a sucker, and should be looking at this situation and assuming the worst about her. but, we have such a good thing. it feels like such a healthy relationship that has only gotten stronger as we have stayed together longer. to her defense, our relationship was more casual, and gradually picked up intensity over time. i was dealing with my divorce, and during this period i would go days, and sometimes even a week or more, before returning her phone calls, or seeing her. i know that doesn't excuse her but, i do believe that those that neglect their significant can open the door to possible cheating. since this incident, i feel like i've trusted her overall. but, i can't help but sometimes wonder if she still talks to this guy, and sometimes i feel like i can't trust her. i don't bring up the incident a lot, but the 3 times it has came up, she seems remorseful. i see tears in her eyes as she apologizes for hurting me, and it seems genuine but, bottom line is, i don't know.
so, i'm looking for some female perspective on this. sorry for the book. i can sometimes be a little TOO detail oriented.