Is this flirting? should I be mad?

[confused987]

Hello people, Me (30) and my girlfriend (28) have been in a relationship since 4 years (2 and half years long distance – I was abroad, I just came last week. And we intend to marry). As I said I have just come back to my country after 2 and half years we had been meeting regularly although not everyday. Last time I met her I was fiddling with her phone and was checking out the apps etc etc and yea a bit of snooping as well. I came across this chat log…which seems was happening while she was waiting for me in a café.

I did confront her (not then and there but after a day or two) although in a very teasing way. To which she said she hardly knows this guy and have spoken to him in office couple of times. And that she wasn’t flirting. And she said she knows that this guy is very flirty but why can’t she have a mad male friend?? I had kept my cool then but I am actually very angry and am avoiding meeting her till I pacify.

I am confused and I really want to know if the conversation between both of them was appropriate? Am I over reacting? Or am I just too conservative. jealous, insecured?? If you’ll can please go through the chat-log; and help me think straight: Her=my girlfriend, him=her office friend


Her: Lol!
Her: Wat a pic!
Him: Haha .. Like ???
Her: U look handsome for sures!
Him: Haha .. Thanks
Her: So wat is it? Quarter life crisis!
Him: This is at our new offices
Her: Okkk but buddy the window looks more cooler than u
Her: M telling u.. Get out of tht place- this is wat it does!
Her: N Boss gave u an apple?
Him: Mine
Her: ok ok
Him: Ur crazy he'll give mac .. Hahah
Her: Btw- tht [some female] is still there?
Her: u used to bully her so much!$
Her:
Him: [Female name] ???
Him: I don't remember her
Her: Hahahha
Her: tht thin fair lady
Her: Designer she was in ur team
Her: I guess
Her: Graphic designer
Her: Her husband was a doc
Him: Don't rem somehow !
Her: Timid sorts
Her: Senior thi
Him: Oh yaaaa .... PR chic na ...
Her: yea
Him: She was a gossip monger man .. Full data I used to get from her of whose banging who and all .. Hahah
Her: Hai kya? Or left?
Her: Yeah!
Her: U serious!
Her: Man she looked so timid
Her: But I owe her an apology
Her: Bef I die I wil do tht! Tell me is she still around
Him: Oh **** that bitch !!!
Him: I misunderstood
Him: She's ****all
Him: I never got along wid her
Him: I forgot the PR head name ?
Her: I knw once I saw u bullying her
Her: Arey.. Tht [female name]
Her: [female name] was gossipmonger
Him: Oh yea .. True .. Haha
Her: This [female name] lookd like a sweetheart
Her: I was soo rude to her once...I felt damn bad... Somehwr I still feel so bad.. I gotto apologise man
Her: Is she still thr?
Her: [female name] was mad
Him: Nope she left
Her: Damn!
Him: Sweetheart??? She was a mental
Her: I think she had hots for u btw
Her: She was a panju btw
Her: [female name] had hots for u
Him: Haha .. Mad kya .. She's like aunty age
Her: M telling u
Her: Anyway.. Kya fayda.. U lost a fan!
Her: Chal u entertain ur guests... M gng to get entertained! Tada!
Her: N btw- age got nthg to do wit falling for someone! [she is older than him, they both know this]
Him: Agreed .. I like older ones anyways hahah
Him: Wher u off to ?
Her: M gng to meet my bf
Him: Ohh .. Dating since long ?
Him: ?
Her: Sorry
Her: Yeah v long
Her: 4 yrs
Her: He wasn't here, he was in uk
Her: Come dwn now for good
Him: Nice .. So no flinging full on serious huh ?
Her: Yeah yeah... I am a full on serious girl
Her: Wat about you
Him: Hmm .. Me I'm a full on player
Her: Hahahahah... So wats the count?
Her: Who's the flavour of the month
Him: There's never a count luv ..
Her: Omg! Ppl who say tht- have nevr found anyone interesting yet
Her:
Her: Bt u dnt look like a player
Him: Well, depends what ones interests are right !
Her: I knw the player kinds- u r nt one of those
Her: Jst waiting fr the right one
Her: U r wat 27?
Him: I'm not an asshole shady guy, I'm honest in my approach .. So I guess its fine, but I'm the playerish kinds
Her: Ah nice! Thumbs up for being a playr n honest
Him: Ya .. There's nothing to hide .. If I'm single I can do whateva I want .. As long as I don't **** ard wid anyones feelings
Her: True that!
Her: bt u have been single all along?
Him: I'm never single
Her: Hahahahahahah
Her: Good going man!
Him: Haahha (y)

by now i had arrived and the conversation was left unattended by her.

[basilandthyme]

I find all that abbreviated speech very hard to read, but from what I can make of this, I don't see any flirting.

What made you read all her conversation?

[confused987]

I find all that abbreviated speech very hard to read, but from what I can make of this, I don't see any flirting.

What made you read all her conversation?

ummm she had got a new phone so was chking it out and after 4 years of relationship...we do chk each others phones sometimes. i know maybe its wrong but when both the parties are ok with it and do it i think its fair.

[michelle23]

Everyone sets their own standards/rules/boundaries in a relationship. If this bothers you-you need to talk to your girl about it. It sounds like friendly banter to me but if you dont like it and if you think it is a breach of trust-you need to speak up.