Is my ex just too proud to admit lingering feelings?

[floridafan]

So, my ex and I were together for 2 years when she suddenlly broke it off 2 months ago. She said she was not as happy as she used to be and that I had become too lazy and inactive (complacent). We lived together and were about sign another one year lease and she said she felt trapped if she did so, and moved out. She said she wasn't necessarily ending it for good and would be open to hanging out in a couple of months to see where it went.

We went a month and a half NC before she broke it with an email and we have been emailing/texting/IMing since then, almost every day. Her friends have told me she misses me and she is depressed (and she admitted this to me as well in person, crying). We work together, so I run into her around the office fairly often and am gettingt the vibe that she still cares but is scared to admit it (to me or to herself) as she left me very suddenly (embarrassed, essentially), has a good deal of pride, and probably thinks I have moved on (I haven't given her much reason to think otherwise about what I feel/want, though I DO want her back).

Does this make any sense -- would pride and embarrassment cause her to keep her from admitting her feelings to me or to herself? At first, I thought allowing her to think that I accepted the breakup and was moving on for myself was a good way to get her curiousity/interest up (she definitely misses me, so it was successful to some degree), but now I wonder if it is something that would hold her back from initiating a conversation or even allowing herself to display any feelings towards me in any way. To back that up a little, we will make jokes back and forth via email (very light and friendly, obviously we're both comfortable) and then when I catch her eyes or pass her in the hall at work she acts like we are not on speaking terms and either looks the other way or refuses to make eye contact, as if that would give her away.

[Raze]

If she wasn't happy with you then, she won't be happy with you now. Sorry. Move on. Best of luck!

[Gigabitch]

That's a pretty long shot, flo. I think she's just avoiding you. I think it's over. Kudos on the glass-half-full thing, but I think you need to look at other options.

[brightgirl]

So, my ex and I were together for 2 years when she suddenlly broke it off 2 months ago. She said she was not as happy as she used to be and that I had become too lazy and inactive (complacent). We lived together and were about sign another one year lease and she said she felt trapped if she did so, and moved out. She said she wasn't necessarily ending it for good and would be open to hanging out in a couple of months to see where it went.

We went a month and a half NC before she broke it with an email and we have been emailing/texting/IMing since then, almost every day. Her friends have told me she misses me and she is depressed (and she admitted this to me as well in person, crying). We work together, so I run into her around the office fairly often and am gettingt the vibe that she still cares but is scared to admit it (to me or to herself) as she left me very suddenly (embarrassed, essentially), has a good deal of pride, and probably thinks I have moved on (I haven't given her much reason to think otherwise about what I feel/want, though I DO want her back).

Does this make any sense -- would pride and embarrassment cause her to keep her from admitting her feelings to me or to herself? At first, I thought allowing her to think that I accepted the breakup and was moving on for myself was a good way to get her curiousity/interest up (she definitely misses me, so it was successful to some degree), but now I wonder if it is something that would hold her back from initiating a conversation or even allowing herself to display any feelings towards me in any way. To back that up a little, we will make jokes back and forth via email (very light and friendly, obviously we're both comfortable) and then when I catch her eyes or pass her in the hall at work she acts like we are not on speaking terms and either looks the other way or refuses to make eye contact, as if that would give her away.

I could be wrong - we all could be - but I have to agree that it doesn't look good.
As a female I can tell you, that if I was in love with someone I wouldn't leave, even if he did bore me. Love covers a multitude of problems.
She may very well care about you, and probably does. She might be kind of into you, but to quote whats-his-name, it doesn't sound like she's THAT into you. And that's not enough. It probably won't change either, suddenly becoming really great. Like Raze said, if she wasn't happy before, she won't be happy in round two either.
It'd be better for you both if you actually did move on.

[abcd29]

I wouldn't be surprised by what you have said if she is too proud. It could be a form of dissonance especially if she is contacting you privately but avoiding you publicly (i have been in a similar situation). By the sounds of it many people seem to know of your situation especially seeing you work together so having made a decision publicly it will be very hard for her to reverse that decision without seemingly looking foolish.

Don't worry about it though. Pride never gets in the way of love and by contacting her privately you are leaving yourself open to get hurt plus she may be very confused emotionally or she could just be wanting to see if you miss her or have moved on! If you were happy once before I am sure you can be again but the onus is really on her. By the sounds of it she may be too proud to ever admit she wants you back in which case don't bother yourself.

[Mish]

She broke it off so the ball is in her hands. Don't do anything until she explicitly shows interest in you. Making yourself seem unavailable could work for you if she is still interested in you. Though, for someone to mess with your trust like that, you should ask yourself if she's really worth it. Will you ever be able to trust someone who dumps you cold like that? I don't think I could.