The Numb Feeling and why it is a great step in your relationship evolution skills..

[Doc Durian]

When you've begun dating during your teen years, the world seems so positive and full of possibilities with you and your new gal/guy.

Starry eyed, nothing can go wrong for you.

Then it happens and you're often left shattered as you're taken by complete surprise. The sweet nice gal/guy you thought you knew morphs into a nasty piece of work you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, yet to persist in hanging on to the familiarity of it however negative the impact is on your life...just hoping for things to change for the better.

They almost never do.

Such are most relationships.

The "Numb Feeling" slowly grows in ability with each passing year until sometime in your 20's,30's, or 40's. The Numb Feeling is a cross between indifference and emotional detachment when faced with petty relationship games or romantic dissolutions.

It's the sum collection of all your past experiences and relationship woes neatly bundled into a course of action if invoked.

ie. Guy/Gal you truly love of 3 years approaches and announces that they're doing the dirty on you.

In comes "Numb Action".. without thinking twice, Numb Action has you either packing her bag or packing yours and someone departing.

Nothing is required to be said. Numb Action doesn't need words. It's getting the job done with its wisdom of sublime knowledge.

The other wants to talk/beg/discuss/argue... Numb Action can't hear it. On a mission with no doubts.

Numb Action is your friend and it gives the best advice out there.

[Gigabitch]

I don't know what to say. I'm not there yet. I hope I never am.

[Doc Durian]

It's not a blanket philosophy towards relationships or feelings, Giga.

If the relationship goes well, or even goes well but hits a no fault obstacle... there is no Numb Action.

It's two people who move in different directions with mutual respect intact.

The rest cops Numb Action aka: Clarity of thought when removing oneself from a bad situation.

It's akin to stoic resolve unable to be second guessed by either of the partners involved.

Plot a course and sail towards it.

[OneQuestion]

This is why you need to save yourself for that special lady, hopefully she saved herself to. Don't sleep together too fast, make sure you want to be together 4ever before that, then you both could have the best love ever.

Sleep around, get cheated on, cheat on others, have a lot of sex partners... and yes, numbness is sure to come.

[Doc Durian]

This is why you need to save yourself for that special lady, hopefully she saved herself to. Don't sleep together too fast, make sure you want to be together 4ever before that, then you both could have the best love ever.

Sleep around, get cheated on, cheat on others, have a lot of sex partners... and yes, numbness is sure to come.

I'm not one to do those things anyway, OneQuestion.

Aside from a brief immature period in my very early twenties long since gone and regretted.

I speak of the Numb Action affectionately.

When one is younger, angsty relationship failures affect one quite severely. What I've been suggesting is the feeling of tranquility in dealing with them, if they do happen.

Letting go...

I hope to not have to let go, one day.

But until then, being equipped to handle these undesirable moments with relative comfort and ease is a feather in the cap.

The Numb Action is a reaction, not a lifestyle.

[MissAnn]

I think I understand what you are saying. Do you think on some level this is just overall maturity? I think I am the same way with a lot of things in my life now that I am older. At my last job there was a lot of back stabbing, manipulation, and drama with my co-workers. When I was young, I probably would have become angry at the injustice, or put in way to much effort trying to fix everyone's attitude.

Now, I kept out of it as much as possible, and simply found a new job with a better work environment. I didn't second guess this decision, or even have to think twice.

[SirWagginston]

I think you also need to have numb action in the early stages of a relationship. This will keep you from "putting him/her on a pedestal," and allow you to ascertain your compatibility realistically. I've also learned recently to do something like numb action when asking a girl out, so that I'm not hurt if she turns me down.

[Doc Durian]

True, Waggi.

You have to be able to respond however the situation dictates.

You ask a girl out... she accepts or she declines.

Or you ask a girl out and you get attitude.. so you respond in turn.

I enjoy being turned down with nastyness from time to time. It can be a fun opportunity to mentally stitch them up when they didn't see it coming.

That requires a somewhat numb action to brush it off and have a go back.