Hi everyone,
I'm a 29 year old guy who is in a situation where I'm totally confused and don't know who to turn to or how to approach it.
There's someone who started at my workplace (not in the same office or building) a few months ago who I really like. I email her a lot about work things and she is always very grateful for my help and efficiency with getting things done (I basically look after some of the work she does). However I just can't bring myself to call (not email) her to see if she would like to meet up after work one day. She is heavily into volunteering and fundraising and was going to ask if she would be interested in a club I'm part of which does fundraising on behalf of charities. She has expressed an interest but the one time I asked (via email) if she wanted to come to one of the get togethers to see if she was interested she was unavailable (work stuff). I shouldn't be too bothered but I am and have asked her since (via email) if she would like to meet up after work again to see if she would be interested (even if I have a secret agenda) but had no answer. I know work email is not the best way and it sounds like she is always busy.
I had the whole of last week off because I had a couple of professional exams to do which I was busy revising for. Hopefully they've gone ok and feel overall they did but now they are out of the way I feel a bit empty and this situation has played on my mind while at work.
The background to all of this is that I've never been in a proper relationship and feel so weird because of this. I have had crushes in the past but never had the courage to do anything about it and when I do I always seem to get an instant rebuff. Maybe my eagerness and desperation is showing and I'm scared about doing the same with the above situation.
This is the one area of my life which bothers me so much. I'm in an 'ok' job although I'm looking to find something else, doing a professional qualification to hopefully progress in my career, have my own flat, parents who care for my well being (used to have a bit of an uneasy relationship with my mum but that has been mended and thankfully always got on with my dad) and I stay healthy. I have done 7 half marathons, 1 full marathon and plan to attempt a triathlon next year. From the outside I am proud of what I have achieved but my insecurities with my self confidence when it comes to relationships I fear is showing me up more and more as I get older. I am on a dating site as well but have not got to the stage of actually meeting up with someone.
I'm so scared of rejection and when people ask me 'whats the worst that can happen' my answer is another failure on the bedpost which I'm so used to that I fear thats what it'll always be for me. I'm actually scared of any potential comments I may get to this thread. So yes if anyone can help with how to approach the situation with the work colleague or how to stop looking so needy I would greatly appreciate it.
Many thanks everyone