well, here is a long story.

went to the philippines with my gf, her son, and her friends family. 6 ppl. me and my gf get into a fight on the second day there. its a 12 day trip. she is mad at what i did and i know i was wrong. she tells me that wat i did was stupid and that she doesnt like to date stupid ppl and that she doesnt give second chances. so thru out the trip, my mind has been wrapped around the thought that im losing her or already lost her and ive been trying to make up for it in so many ways, but im just drowning myself with everything i do. i know that there is alot of changes i must make and for her, id go to the end of the world for. thats how much i love her.

so before we leave, i do something stupid again...smoke her one of her last 2 cigs late at nite, not knowing she had no more. i felt really bad so i bought flowers for her to say im sorry. she gets mad at that cause she said she cant carry it but i already thought of that and told her im going to carry it all the way home. she says why cant you just buy my flowers in japan, but she doesnt know that i already had ordered flowers and had them delivered to her the next morning.

she recieved the flowers this morning but of course, she says no more flowers. that i have really bad timing and that i really know how to make her mad. she says if we go on, we go on, and if not, then not. let nature take its course.

im lost now as to wat to do. i know how important she is to me and she knows it too but i dont want to make her mad, but i also dont want to lose her. how can i move on with what we got and make things better for us. i know i want to change, for my love for her. but i am so lost. any advice on how i can make things better without making things worse???