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Thread: Why she started texting me?

  1. #1
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    Why she started texting me?

    Hello there, long story short girl rejected me after couple of months spent together, we weren't talking for almost two months. Two weeks ago she texted me and she's texting me everyday since then. She's always initiating conversations, even when I'm not even online and I'm starting to feel like a dick that I don't text her first. She even said some things which could mean something for example we were talking about a puppy which her friend got and I said something like "I like animals over most of people" and she replied "The most of " or she said that she's to lazy to play the film which I recommended her and that she needs someone to play it for her, but she backed off when I told her that I can come over (We've already watched a lot of movies together, even from bed where we were hugging each other, but unfortunately it didn't work out in the end ). The conversations aren't so long like they used to be, but we still talk a lot, I still have feelings for her and I'd like to know if it means something or if you have any similiar experiences. Thanks

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    Cool name ЯрмаК ,Im listening to their song now. ЯрмаК - Когда она проснется (TS Prod.) Like this song the most right now.

    I like to watch movies in bed with a girl but we are ussualy at least kissing so its more interesting. The second time you are in bed with a girl sex can easly happen. if it dont happen then then girl ussualy get frustrated and thats usually last time you see that girl. At least thats how it is for me.
    Why she started texting you? I think sex drive made her want to write to you/ meet you. Whether or not she knew or not think this was the case.

    Hope you are okay after war in your country Ukraine. Make love not war. Peace.
    Last edited by pcmaster; 26-04-17 at 08:04 PM.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Cool name ЯрмаК ,Im listening to their song now. ЯрмаК - Когда она проснется (TS Prod.) Like this song the most right now.
    Yeah ЯрмаК is really great, unfortunately not very known, just about 2-3 songs made it outside the Ukraine.

    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    I like to watch movies in bed with a girl but we are ussualy at least kissing so its more interesting. The second time you are in bed with a girl sex can easly happen. if it dont happen then then girl ussualy get frustrated and thats usually last time you see that girl. At least thats how it is for me.
    I don't think it was because of this, we spent half a year together and because we are both kinda introverted we were moving things slowly, but it was moving forward almost everytime we met and there was a lot of physical contact. Also she never had relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Why she started texting you? I think sex drive made her want to write to you/ meet you. Whether or not she knew or not think this was the case.
    No idea, but again, I don't think it was about sex drive, she sent me picture with quote from our favourite movie and it got my attention so I tried to keep the conversation going. During our conversations she said that I'm amazing and when I did something she said that it's really great and so on... Yesterday I was talking with my friend after school and she went by, said something funny and just stand there, so my friend walked away and I accompanied her home, she was congratulating me again (it was maybe like 4th time this week) for passing CAE english exam and again she said that I'm great. Later that day I sent her an new video about one series we watched together (first time in three weeks when I managed to text her first) and she said that she will check it later because she has a lot of homeworks but we can still text and she added those cute emoticons at the end.

    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Hope you are okay after war in your country Ukraine. Make love not war. Peace.
    Well... It's not over yet and I'm being drafted in a couple of months. The worst is those lies about Ukraine, like that we're killing civilians and so on... In fact in western part of Ukraine we have so many refugees from east and everytime when our army liberate some city or village they're welcomed as heroes. If those people want to belong to Russia, why they just don't move there, Russia is big. :/

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    Oh you are teenager. Well if shes inexperienced too then really you were match for each other. But even with first girl half a year ussualy is time after sex happen. Maybe you needed do more than just hug and by encouraging you she tried to make you more confident. Teenage girls ussualy cant wait when their BF will kiss them.

    Maybe she wasnt real - partly playing and thats why she lost interest. I dont know man, you have to ask her why she changed. You might get honest answer or some BS she will say to dont hurt you.

    6 months with a girl is enough to whip it out and say to girl that it not gona suck itself.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Yeah I'm teenager, I'm 17, she's 15. We were really great match, it wasn't just about hugging during movies, holding hands on walks and so on, we were doing those small things for each other, she was cooking a lot and everytime she was like "Yo, you have to taste it, can I bring it to you now?" or we were buying presents from abroad to each other and it just went so well... And it all went this way since first day, I really miss those days, but I'm starting to have a little hope since she started texting me, I managed to kill our conversation over text like four times yesterday because I suck at writing and she just went quiet for a while and after couple of minutes she came up with different topic to keep the conversation going, maybe I'm overthinking this, but at least it's giving me hope

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    So shes younger than you. I been hearing that at 15 its all about hormones for girls. So yeah texting sucks you should be close by instead.
    This might be hard but think you should not make it all about her. When texting try to match your text lenghts so they are no longer than hers. Also I think its important for both of you that you dont just care what she wants but also go after what you want. Girls like guys who go after what they want. its attractive to them.
    I could write a endlessly but if theres one suggestion I could give to you then it would be dont think but just do. You need those experiences and overthinking will dont do any good for you. Take action - if you want to kiss her then do it, if you want to meet her then go for it, dont waste time texting, if you want to say L word then dont hold back.

    This is kinda usefull how to slowly get back girl -

    https://youtu.be/6Ndw8AJXz9w

    Also its important to not put her on pedestal - dont think that she are better than you, girls are not special, they are just humans. Also other dangerous thing is striving for perfection cause it will never be perfect. Wanting to make things to be perfect is a destructive mindset.

    Basically I covered common beginner mistakes here. Its hard for you to make first steps and do new things that you never did much before like kissing and such but once you have experience it becomes easy. Start is always hard but its worth the risk. If you dont risk anything you risk everything.

    I understand that you had nice times with her but its better look at things with fresh look, be more present to the moment. Also its important to take your mind off from these things at least few days a week. Cause if you put too much effort into it you get less results. So message her like only every second day and in meantime go to gym and meet friends for example.

    You have to understand that girls at young age change their mind very often says something like - I love you or I will never leave you(or opposite), it doesnt mean it stays like that forever. Dont try to change how girl thinks but change how she feels and she will change what she thinks. Try to express and give her full range of emotions, even bad ones.

    In conclusion - Dont waste much time texting but invite her to meet withing first 5 texts and if things dont work out with this girl then dont worry, this is only beginning and there will be other girls in your life. It only gets better as you learn to enjoy life and dont stress over these things. Learning to let go is useful too. You see you had some great times together but when things gets bad you might as well be happier alone than in relationship. Social media are advertising relationships and such but being in relationship can often be much worse than being a lone. Being alone is more like neutral. Being independent from outcome might give you balls you need to progress.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Thanks a lot man, when I look at it without any feelings it makes perfect sense. Luckily I already did some steps which you wrote or which were in that video - and she started texting me, on Friday there was competition at my school and she went there, waited for my turn and then she went home so I think that she changed her mind probably. I will definitely do more things which you talked about, but without any big expectations to avoid overthinking, once more, thanks a lot! :-)

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    You welcome man. Good luck and enjoy life !
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    touching girls is normal. like it is touching your mates
    if you like her i dont see reasons not to pursue her.

    for her it seems that the cold shoulder approach seems to work. She seems to build attraction the more you are not available to her.

    you have such a backache for example and you need someone who massages it and normally youd ofc ask her but sadly you dont have time this evening because you thought hanging out with your buddies was the better option.
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

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    Yeah it seems it's working, but I feel like a jerk and attention whore lol. She even bought me an birthday present two weeks ago, but we weren't talking about when she will give it to me, so two days ago she just said that she wants to meet me in school because of that. When I was walking around her, she smacked my chest by her hand with the present in it to stop me. After that I asked her when I can bring her something which I bought for her abroad and she just leaned very close to me and whispered when she has a time - the worst thing is I didn't hear her properly lol.

  11. #11
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    Just ask her then again. Say you dint heard her the first time.

    I think its the worst thing when something is said and person acts like its been heard when it wasnt.

    Your relationship is fragile and this little thing can kill it. You have to make sure you understand each other well.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    She texted me if I have time today, unfortunately I don't, so we agreed to meet on different date

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