What does it mean?

[Daniella_xo]

So I've known this guy for a few years but we were both in relationships & lost touch. He has a child and so do I. After he broke up with his gf I text him & we've been texting & snap chatting for a while now. He texts me every now and then or sends me a snapchat but most of the time I'm the one who initiates the conversation. He does reply straight away though. He told me many times I'm hot & he loves seeing my snapchat stories. we flirt via texts & He's also called me a couple of times.
We've tried to organise a couple of times to go out but we've never been available at the same times so Last week I told him we should go out somewhere together this week and catch up on Thursday. he said it sounded good and to remind him again during the week. So I text him yesterday and asked if we are still on for Thursday & he said yes but he'll let me know for sure. I still haven't heard from him. Tomorrow is Thursday. What do I do? Is he interested or not? I really like him a lot but I don't want to get my hopes up. I feel like I'm getting mixed signals.

[shrah25]

So I've known this guy for a few years but we were both in relationships & lost touch. He has a child and so do I. After he broke up with his gf I text him & we've been texting & snap chatting for a while now. He texts me every now and then or sends me a snapchat but most of the time I'm the one who initiates the conversation. He does reply straight away though. He told me many times I'm hot & he loves seeing my snapchat stories. we flirt via texts & He's also called me a couple of times.
We've tried to organise a couple of times to go out but we've never been available at the same times so Last week I told him we should go out somewhere together this week and catch up on Thursday. he said it sounded good and to remind him again during the week. So I text him yesterday and asked if we are still on for Thursday & he said yes but he'll let me know for sure. I still haven't heard from him. Tomorrow is Thursday. What do I do? Is he interested or not? I really like him a lot but I don't want to get my hopes up. I feel like I'm getting mixed signals.

Hi Daniella

Hope you are well.

It's always a bit challenging to know either way because, unless I know how he is normally, his typical behaviours etc, it's easy to speculate.

I'll say this though - generally if guys are interested, they jump at the opportunity to spend time with that woman. But having said that, there are also lots of guys who don't wan't to come off as desperate so they use communication like in your example, as they think that will keep women interested.

What i'll say here though is that, it does seem like he's interested but instead of trying to answer that question, I would be more focussed on ensuring that you uphold your value and maintain your standards. Personally, when I was single, I couldn't stand it when woman behaved like this (i'm a heterosexual guy) - some would leave me hanging and not communicate properly and I made a conscious decision to not pursue any woman who would be disrespectful of my time and fail to show me the courtesy that I deserve. For me, that prevented getting into circumstances where I got messed around and inevitably, I started attracting some amazing women with incredible shows of courtesy and respect.

If I were you, I would go back to him and ask him to confirm by a particular time because you have another engagement that you need to confirm by that time.
Then if you don't hear from him by then, assume it's not happening. If he comes back afterwards, just say that you can't make it and then let him push for further dates.

I see lots of people get messed around during the dating process and it's really sad, hence my advice is geared more towards taking ownership and empowering yourself, rather than being at the mercy of others.

I hope that makes sense.

Any questions, please let me know.

Thanks

[melancholia]

In my experience, when someone is interested in you, they make a lot more effort to talk to you and get together. It sounds like he doesn't care all that much, to be honest. If it takes this much work just to get together for the first time, it's not going to feel like a smooth connection. If you feel like you have to force a meeting, or if you question yourself on when to text them, or reply to a message, then something is amiss and it might be a good idea to move on. You have a lot going for you right now, so it's probably a good idea to focus on people who make more of an effort to be around you. It's not fun when it feels like pulling teeth to get someone to go out with you.

[Daniella_xo]

Thank you both for taking the time to reply.
You're totally right, I think deep down I already had that in my head, but I guess since I like him so much
I didn't want to believe that he might not be interested.
I did snap chat him just a pic as we normally do but got no reply �� so I think I'm at the point now I'm going to assume it's either not happening or he isn't as interested as I am. The worst part is what these situations do to your self esteem and feeling so lead on.
Thanks again xx
Daniella

[shrah25]

My Pleasure [MENTION=85527]Daniella_xo[/MENTION]

I totally hear what you're saying about the self-esteem part. It's so easy to take this stuff personally because relationships are such an emotionally draining area of our lives. In addition, when we have a couple of nice experiences with a guy or girl, we can easily over estimate them through our hopes and dreams. However, it's really important to ensure that you value a man based on what he's done, rather than what he could potentially do...That way you keep the expectations in tact and not get too down if things don't pan out as you hope.

Hope that makes sense.

Thanks
Sri

[melancholia]

I know rejection sucks, but I honestly think there's some power in understanding that nobody is obligated to like you. As long as you are happy with who you are and what you have going on in your life, rejection sucks a lot less. If you refuse to settle for someone who can't be bothered to reply to your efforts to get together, you will also feel much more secure with who you are and how you feel about spending your energy on other people.

[Daniella_xo]

Thank you so much. These replies are honestly the best advice
And the most honest advice I've ever come across. After hearing nothing from him
I have decided to wait and see if he gets in touch with me and when he does
I am going to remember this advice and shut him down because I realise
Now that I am worth more than that. Thank you again