advise needed regarding female friend

[Specialk]

im male, i have this female friend, who may be getting with this guy that dislikes me, always talks bad about me, if my female friend who ive been cool with for a few years decides to get with this guy, do u think it wud be wrong of me to end my.friendship with this girl

[TheEvilJester]

I don't think that is an easy question to answer. It's not as black and white as you put it. When it comes down to it, you have no right to tell her who she can or cannot date. So, if she wants to date a guy you happen not to like, you can't really stop her. At the same time, though, that also doesn't mean you have to be okay with it. Especially not if you have good reasons not to like him.

So, I supposed it comes down to exactly how much do you not like him. Just as a random example, if you don't like him because he's a jerk and a bully who has constantly mistreated you... then yeah, I have to admit my gut reaction would be to stop being friends with anybody who could actually date somebody like that.

On the other hand, if you don't like him simply because you two (you and him) just don't really get along and there's not much more to it than that, then I don't see why you couldn't just do your best to get past it and remain friends with her. Hell, you never know, maybe through being with her he could get to know you better and realize he was wrong about you.

Have you talked to your friend about this? That can be a bit of a tricky situation because you don't want to sound like you are trying to cause drama. Still, maybe she didn't know how he treats you. I wouldn't suggest you frame it like you are trying to convince her not to date him because, again, that's not your decision. Maybe just something like "If you are going to date him I will do my best to get along, but he's never seemed to like me."

Honestly, though, this may be one situation where you are better off just to not say anything. I'm not sure. I think, personally, if I were about to date somebody and other people knew they were a complete jerk, I'd want to know that ahead of time rather than to have to find out for myself.

So, again, I don't think this is necessarily a simple answer. It really depends on a lot of factors that only you would really know. Though, I'm happy to elaborate and try to give even more of my own thoughts if you don't mind elaborating on exactly why you don't like this guy/exactly what he does that shows he doesn't like you, etc.