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Thread: Crush on a older woman

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    Crush on a older woman

    Hello LoveForum,

    I thought long about posting something online but now here i go because i need good advice. Very good advice.

    So there is this one woman i met a year ago, first i didn't like her but by times i knew her better we went shopping and stuff.

    Now there came a time where i felt butterfly's and thus since then i had a crush on her for over a year, i don't look at any other girl anymore because she is the only one for me.

    I don't see her often anymore, but she still stays the person where i can tell my problems to.

    She is 31 and i am 16, most of the time i have suicidal thoughts and start drinking my thoughts away

    She is married so i won't make a chance probably.

    I'm starting to get really depressed which i don't want to end up fatal.

    Any advice? Everything is welcome.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    Who is she, how do you know her?

    I think you are just inexperienced, lonely and crazy. Talk with therapist about it. As sooner you get help as better.
    I dont think it could end fatal but you could mess up your mental health even more and that could ruin your future life and relationship quality. That is if you let this continue. Better stop now while it havent done any lasting damage.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
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    you are suffering oneitis
    google it
    its normal for your age
    most of us went through this.
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

  4. #4
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    Speaking from an older woman's POV. I have had over the years various boys have crushes on me. Maybe due to NY figure I guess but also my nature. If she is understanding you can tell her your fears and thoughts

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
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    I think you are trying to fill a pretty severe emotional need in your life and are turning to someone you deem as mature and attractive. I would try to seek help from a counselor or therapist as your other problems are more concerning. Drinking to that extent at your age can result in extensive neurological and other problems later on. Not worth it. As for the crush, it may not seem like it now but you will definitely get over it soon.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
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    Dear SLRN, it's not "probably" you don't have a chance because she's married, it's you DON'T have a chance. It is natural for someone to fantasize about an older woman, but you must be realistic. My concern for you is your thoughts of suicide and your drinking. This is VERY serious. Alcohol is a depressant and will only make your moods worse. You are also more likely to hurt yourself while you are drunk because you are not thinking right. You need to speak to an adult immediately about your feelings. If this woman is someone you trust and listens to you, then speak to her. You have your whole life ahead of you to meet someone special. Please speak to someone.

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