How to know if your bestfriend has feelings for you

[cecilycardew]

Around February my best friend broke up with his one year girlfriend, and I, as a normal friend would do, gave him all my support.
He was very sad and eventually we started to see each other very often. One night, both of us drunk, we kissed and just in time we stopped. The next day we agreed to remain friends and go along with our relationship as never happened.
10 days after that night we make out during a concert and again we were drunk, this time we didn't talk about it again, and told our mutual friends that "this would never happen again!"
At a graduate party, two weeks after, unfortunately again drunk, we start kissing and I found myself at his home. We slept together and the next day we stay in bed until 2 p.m.
During all this time we behave like normal friends, he was very touchy-feely, called me with pet name, we kept writing until late at night and share all our problems. He talked to me like more that his pal and I sure can tell that there is more. But when after the last night I tried to talk to him he told me that he is still hurting from the break up, that he knows that the relashion couldn't last, but still hurts. So I said that was all a mistake and that we surely should remain friends. The problem now is that I grow feelings for him and I really don't know if he has feeling for me. What should I do to understand if it is something between us that could bring something in the future?

[BrandonCodi]

You said it was a mistake even though you're developing feelings for him? That was a mistake.

If you want things to go anywhere you shouldn't lie about your feelings to him. It sounds like he does actually have feelings for you and when you shut him down like that you destroy his confidence to ask you for anything further. I believe that he does have feelings for you so you either tell him how you feel, or wait for something to happen. Waiting is a giant waste of time and nothing ever happens so I don't recommend doing that.

You could just get drunk with him again and tell him drunk and sleep together again. Then in the morning you can say what you really feel when it will be more natural to do so haha. That's not the best way to do things but it would work.

Cheers

[Hooo!]

First of all don't agree to terms you cannot live with.
You don't want to stay friends only. So I don't see the point limiting yourself.

he obviously likes you but is scared of getting hurt again and still hurt from last time.
So telling him it was a mistake is a big mistake.
Tell him it wasn't.
Or get physical and show him.

He may need time to accept and trust and love fully.


Just for the future: stop telling other people things that aren't true, just because you feel that's socially acceptable or required