Texting Game - When & When Not to Respond

[BrandonCodi]

Hello everybody.

These are some general texting rules that apply to BOTH sexes. Because I am a guy, I will look at this situation from a male perspective, but it applies to both gender. I think everyone could read this and find it beneficial.

Whenever a girl sends you a text, you want to*change up the amount of time it takes for you to respond.*Why? Because you don’t want to be "predictable",*and*you want to establish the frame that you are a busy guy and aren’t sitting around waiting for her to text you.

Sometimes*you’ll reply back within a minute or two;*sometimes*after an hour… maybe longer.*Sometimes*you’ll shoot a text back immediately.*

By changing up your response time you’re creating suspense. It’s going to hit one of those emotional buttons like we’ve been discussing. You want her to experience a wide range of emotions to keep her interested.*

When you’ve just spent 10 minutes in “Rapid Fire Reply”(RFR)*mode, & then sort of drop off for a little while, she’s going to feel a bit of uncertainty; wondering things like,*“Is he mad? Did he lose interest? Did I say something wrong? Did I send the text to the wrong person??”*etc…


This is good! Seriously. Because, when you DO text her back again maybe 20 minutes later, or an hour later, she’ll feel that sense of relief & excitement. She’ll get butterflies from the adrenaline rush that your text delivers. It’s that kind of pleasure you feel, ONLY AFTER you’ve had a feeling of loss (or at least “potential” loss).

Yes it IS totally OK to respond right away. In fact, you SHOULD from time to time. It’s also perfectly fine to go into*“RFR”*for a while. So don’t make the mistake of thinking you always have to wait a long time to reply. She’ll just get tired of texting you altogether if she knows she’s going to have to wait forever to hear back.
Just be unpredictable, & you’ll be golden!

Cheers!

[TheEvilJester]

I would love to say I disagree. I think this kind of game playing is childish bull crap and should be left back in grade school. (Understand, Kodi, I am NOT calling you childish, I am saying having to "play games" with people at all is childish.) I would love to say that you should just text in whatever way you naturally feel works......

I'd love to say that.... but sadly I have to admit I agree with this. This sort of stuff is one of the reasons I happily avoid people these days. I should think somebody that generally texts you back should be looked at as a good thing. I mean, I can see thinking it strange if they are quite literally ALWAYS available and NEVER delay their responses at all. I just think it is ridiculous, especially in the event where YOU are the one reaching out that it should be construed as a bad thing if the person is almost always able to respond quickly.

I mean, I definitely DO agree you shouldn't always respond literally immediately and give the impression you are just hovering around your phone all the time waiting for people to talk to you. LOL! But, in this day and age I still cannot fathom how a friend/romantic interest who is typically reachable when you want/need them is considered a bad thing. I mean, for me personally, I generally always have my phone nearby. This is simply because why the Hell would I not?

I can also typically respond pretty quickly if I want. I mean, Hell, my phone is right there and if I am not otherwise engaged in something that would prevent me from responding, or something where I'd rather wait and respond later, then why the Hell not? (ex: While watching a movie, sure I COULD respond, but I might rather focus on my movie and talk later. On the other hand, while in a meeting at work I obviously cannot respond.)

So, like I said, I cannot for the life of me understand this mindset...... but I have to admit that this is how people seem to think these days. You aren't available enough and they think you aren't interested in them, so they lose interest and move on. .....Yet if you are too readily available they think you are pathetic and waiting around for them like a puppy dog. So they lose interest in you anyway. Sad that it is required, but you do kind of have to play these sort of games. At least at first. At least until you are close enough to settle more into what is just normal for us both. It's thing like this that make it no wonder I've given up on connecting with people.

[BrandonCodi]

Preach it brother. I'm no more happy about it than you are, but unfortunately this is the way it goes these days. I agree with your points as well, but not everyone thinks that way. Hopefully some noobies can find value in here somewhere

[Hooo!]

Valid.
Though I personally wouldn't bother.
Usually I tell women I find attractive that I do.
I am authentic
The above is not.
But I understand that it creates attraction with girls.

Absense can increase longing.
Not displaying neediness is another thing.
Being the one chased after is another aspect. All not to be underestimated.
All not to be overrated

[TheEvilJester]

Preach it brother. I'm no more happy about it than you are, but unfortunately this is the way it goes these days. I agree with your points as well, but not everyone thinks that way. Hopefully some noobies can find value in here somewhere

Oh, don't get me wrong. There is definitely value in the advice. I do think the unfortunate truth in this day and age is you DO have to adhere to this a little bit. You can't always be available because people these days look at that as a negative, not a positive. Not that you should make it a point never to be available either as that will just have them lose interest as well.

I think a good general rule of thumb is to usually be available pretty quickly.... but sometimes here and there not necessarily right away. Again, infuriates me that we have to play those kind of games, but it is just the way it is in the world we live in these days.

[lovebroken]

If someone feels loved by another or by you, they will never feel insecure if you do not text back directly. People who panic are ones who feel insecure in their relationship and worry someone else has their SOs attention over them.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, I could be wrong, but I think this was more about dating/early in a relationship. One would certainly hope that you would eventually reach a comfortable enough status with somebody to where you'd both settle into what is a normal rhythm for you both and not worry... within reason, of course.

But, when you are first dating somebody it can be hard not to be super vulnerable and paranoid of things like this. I think we are ALL insecure in a relationship in the very early stages because you don't yet know if it is going to work, if the person likes you, if you like them, etc.

[CantMoveOn]

I won't reply to booty call texts at early AM hours. Even if not asleep.

I hate text chains and email chains. What is wrong with picking up a phone and talking to each other or is that gone with the skill of writing a real letter?